How to increase your Self Esteem through Personal Style

   I wake up every morning jump out of bed, stretching and yawning another day ahead, make my way to the shower and it’s then I notice in the bathroom mirror the nasty swollen, bright red pimple on my chin, argh!  Not only that, I can almost see the chocolate cake I ate after dinner last night on my thighs and I swear I didn’t have those dark circles when I went to bed last night.  No amount of squeezing gets rid of the pimple, my evening walk is too my hours away to melt the cake from my thighs and I have no time to sleep anymore and I am sure cold soggy tea bags on my eyes is an old wives tale and let’s not even mention my hair.   I woke up enthusiastically and now, all of a sudden I feel like a lead balloon. My self esteem is shot to pieces with one quick look in the mirror.

Have you ever had a morning like that?

    Perhaps most of your life has been spent reminding you of your ‘imperfections’ and then wasting  positive energy on the negative emotions that come with critical self talk, and the occasional pimple.   It’s no surprise to most women to hear - the way you look has a lot to do with how you feel about you.  I know firsthand, as a woman, friend, coach and having worked with women all my life, how a few extra kilos mid month can make me feel ineffective, fat and sometimes even gross.  I have heard many friends and colleagues say similar things, under similar circumstances. We are our own worst critics but it’s time to ease up and love the body you are in, by taking simple steps to nurture yourself each day.

“If you look after yourself, you obviously love yourself”

   There is plenty of proof that indicates that how we look has a lot to do with how we feel, just ask a friend if that is true.  And how you feel has a lot to do with how much effort you put into looking even better.  What you choose to do about it (if anything) has direct impact on your inner confidence and self worth - when you take action that nurtures your womanly needs, you are honouring and valuing yourself - if you feel good you naturally look good…. if I make building self confidence and self worth sound easy, that is  because it is.

   There are many ways to increase your self esteem, feel glamorous and develop your innate sense of confidence.  By developing your own sense of style and taking good care of yourself on the outside, you will feel strong and worthy on the inside.  And how you feel about yourself on the inside is reflected on the outside.  Does this mean you have to wear mascara and pretty clothes everyday to feel good about yourself - no, not at all. But imagine if you made some small improvements to your morning routine, added a few little extra steps and made it mean “I love myself even more”…

   Increasing and developing your sense of style is all about how you feel about you and only you.  What extras steps would you be willing to do, if you knew it would increase your self esteem and confidence and help you to feel great - like a powerful, feminine woman?

   Style is all about expressing your personality and develops your individuality - it’s an expression of who you are both inside and out and tells us a lot about who you are and how you feel about you.

   Below are four simple tips to start to develop your style to assist you in feeling like a divine goddess each day.  It’s likely your morning routine already includes these steps, so it’s time to kick it up a notch - how can you increase your personal style, so you are nurturing and honouring the very person you are - everyday?

   Before I list the four tips, you may have asked the question I always get regarding external applications for feeling good. “How can putting on makeup or wearing a pink shirt make me feel good - It can’t!  But the act of respecting, love and making effort to take care of yourself, can. Effort is also an expression of your femininity  and self respect, which is indeed a strength in itself.

• 1) Makeup - Historically, women have been applying enhancements, jewels and colour to adorn their faces and bodies for eons, so why stop now? I rarely leave the house without mascara and lip gloss - that’s because for me, it’s a way of honouring myself as a woman. What is your ‘can’t live without’ makeup item? Do you have one? It could be time to develop your signature look with a little extra makeup, a specific colour of lipstick or gloss or blush to accentuate your features. If you are a heavy makeup user, try toning it down a bit to let your natural self shine through. Either way, you are honouring your sacred feminine and most importantly, making an effort for your own benefit.
• 2) Accessorise - Necklaces, co-ordinating ear rings, rings, scarves, hats, gorgeous belts, hair clips, brooches, head bands, tights and bangles. The key is to keep is simple, make a statement and coordinate with your clothes. It’s a great idea to develop your own signature items and vary them regularly… Be bold and express a little more of you.
• 3) Your clothes are simply a way to protect your body but who says they have to be ordinary or boring? My advice here, is to get your colours done by a professional image consultant so you can wear colour with confidence and flare. A few key items in your wardrobe that are an expression of your style are essential. Again, be bold and brave and dare to step out of your comfort zone and move away from societal expectations of style - by this I mean, move away from mainstream stores and get out into the local markets, local designers and the niche corner boutiques. Always go feminine and flowing, even a fitted business suit could be ‘femmed up’ with a floral or hot pink blouse and sexy tights.
• 4) Lastly, stand tall, hold your space and energy within and go forth with your head held high, there is nothing more gorgeous and more nurturing for your self esteem than good posture, poise and grace. Be playful and have fun - because at the end of the day, the most important person in the world you want to impress, is you.

   Remember this lovely ladies, cute clothes, funky accessories and a well made up face are not smoke screens for the real you. If not expressed for the right reasons, they could very well be that. There is a saying that ‘the most gorgeous and well groomed woman in the room, is most likely the most insecure’ - don’t let that be you.  When you make an effort, adorn, nurture and take time for you, it clearly is an expression of your self-love. Remember, you are already perfect as you are and your womanly birthright gives you lots of toys to play with to make being a woman even more fun.  Make it grandiose and love who you are - from the inside out… and observe how you shine.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

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