Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 2

Part 2

The diary continues after the Pearls of Wisdom (from part one) have kicked in….. I was kindly reminded by many sources that life needs to change in some way (or was it me that needed to change?) In any case, I’d decided to ask the universe for assistance….

Have you ever asked for help and wondered who may respond?  Sometimes the response is in the way of a subtle sign, picture or shared, timely word by a good friend and sometimes it’s a grandiose push from the far reaches of the universe…. In any case, it’s much appreciated when the signs come in and on this day, I welcomed them.

It was getting close to Christmas and our school holidays had started.  Being a relatively new job, I knew taking holidays was out of the question, so called upon many favours from considerate friends and managed the first week with little difficulty although the feeling of guilt was heavy on my heart. I’ve never not spent this holiday time without my kids and nor have they… On top of all of that, Christmas was fast approaching, I needed to get organised, I’d yet to finalise gifts, decorations and where was I going to find the time? Parents were making enquiries about visits, kids were asking about going on holidays and all I could think about was making it through alive, intact and strong and stable.

With growing tensions at work and my growing discontent, more difficulty getting there on time and the merry-go-round of trying to transition from working mum to holiday mum each afternoon, I was exhausted…..  and then that dreaded, ever increasing feeling that I was not being true to my purpose, my passion and what I really wanted reared it’s ugly head nearly every moment of every day.

What has not being fully confident about your abilities cost you? Are you holding back, waiting for a miracle too?

This is what I’ve discovered… some more gentle reminders of what you may already know;

1. If you have big goals, be prepared to do the work to achieve them - it might not be easy, be realistic so as to not be disappointed when you put in extra time and have no time for anything else.  What do you want more?  Do you want more of the same old stuff or something different, bigger, bolder?
2. You really have to decide and be clear - you probably have all the resources you need to make it work, acknowledge those resources with some time in a written list and then go after them
3. Ask for help and teach others around you how to take responsibility - Delegate. It’s a good time to learn how to delegate to others. Remember you give others a gift when you ask them for help, people love to be thought of and we love to make a difference, so by asking you are doing exactly that.
4. When you teeter totter on the fence, everything else in your life will also teeter - ARGH!
5. Kids spell LOVE - T.I. M. E. - make your home time your home time. Your children, pets or lovers need you to be present, so make your home your hearth and spend quality time with the people you love.
6. Your boss also needs you to be present - he/she expects the best of you,  so give it and smile and consider how you can exceed expectations or find another job. It’s essential you love your job as not doing so can cause many stresses and upset - loving your job is a good lesson for your children to learn and is also much more fun.
7. Putting yourself first is critical when you spend so much time giving to others. Quite often your job as a mother goes without reward and by the end of the day you are spent, exhausted and deflated.  Be nurturing and selfish - you have to fill your own well first otherwise all else can easily fall apart.  Remember the power of a great Girls Night Out (if you live in Brisbane be sure to check out Top Secret Women’s CLUB), some time with friends or a luscious long bath at the end of the day is valuing the one who is doing all the work - you!
8. Be clear on your passions and dreams… Are you selling out, taking the safe path or in the middle of ‘risk’ and loving it?  If you are not following your dreams - they will persist, so do something about it.
9. If what you have done in the past has not worked, reinvent it and try again and again until it does work… if it’s your purpose and you love it, it will work - but remember you may have to work hard for it.
10. Time management is key.  Compartmentalise your life and be clear about how much time you want to spend in each area doing each necessary task.  When you are sooo busy it’s important to take stock of what is important and spend your time there.

So to conclude this part of our working mums diary I want to leave you with one important message…. Plan, organise, believe in you and trust the universe, it always delivers exactly what you need…..

And if you really need to get away, recalibrate your energy, meet some fantastic women, embrace a newer, more powerful version of yourself, then come along to THE SEALED SECTION RETREAT…. check it out under EVENTS

The Concluding part gives you more practical tips to care for yourself, achieve great success and manage your home and family with some steam left for you….

Time Management with Tim Ferriss

January Bliss Tip

It’s the first week of another year, a great time to indulge in some loving connection and fun while we’re all kicking back and relaxing with loved ones. Whether you are in a cold climate or warm climate right now, it is time to enjoy the loving touch of a warm set of hands caressing your body, soft lips nibbling you, hard body enjoying you….  Connection with a lover is not only good for your body (losing calories, releasing tension and stress) but your mind also gets a fresh rush of feel good endorphins. I urge you to open your mind to your ‘Adventurous’ side and try something new and exciting in loveland….

How awesome will this year be if, on top of your career and success goals, you added some sexy loving goals too?  A healthy dose of sensuality and sexuality can have a direct benefit on your self esteem and confidence, how much more could you use right now?   With a partner or alone, everybody deserves sexy loving fun, so if you are single, this months Bliss Tip is for you too… Get the picture?

Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 1

This is a three part series that shares an insight into being a working single mother, the cycle of emotions and attitudes and how to gain Work Life Balance.  We discuss how to enjoy your children more, how to live the life you were born to, how to overcome a negative attitude toward your job and be a more productive YOU. Enjoy helpful work, life balance tips and start living again!

These dairy entries are for every woman, single or not because at the end of the day, the same challenges face us all… Too much to do, in too short a time with too much going out in to the world and not enough coming back in.

Last year I started working full time (just for a while) - As an employee, after 6 and a half years of self employment and full availability for my children, I feel I should share what I discovered.  I have written many articles about Work/Life Balance and working full time took me to new heights of learning how to juggle kids, Top Secret Women’s Business, house and social life - and most importantly my energy and personal attitiude.  Like never before, I had to take my own advise….!

You may be familiar with this scenario -  6am wake, 8.30am start at work and a 5.30pm finish, getting kids ready for school, dressing myself, lunch boxes, Load of laundry on, sweep the floor, get kids to school early (or at least on time), rush to work - too much traffic this morning… Going from being available to no spare time at all,  a house who’s tidiness is failing me and a car that needs a service and a clean,  mail to open and dinner to cook and let’s not even mention laundry, lunch boxes and dust… So on and so forth!

How does a woman ‘really’ have a balanced, successful, happy life and still find time to exercise and prepare healthy fresh meals, entertain the idea of a relationship and water the plants? In this part one I briefly touch into the emotions and mindset of a working mum and give some ‘Pearls’ to get yourself off the merry-go-round of exhaustion, discontent and dissonance.

So the Diary begins -

Today is about what I feel and what I need to be reminded of….

Today I feel the biggest challenge which really pulls at my heart strings is my decreased availability for my children. They once had me at their beck and call and now there is barely enough time to read a bedtime story - or so it seems…. I missed my daughter’s last game of softball, her music concert invite got lost in a pile of paperwork and my son is only 9 and needs his mummy hugs still, he is fighting with his sister more and more, I suspect it’s to get my attention….  My expectations of my children have increased exponentially to ‘help out’ and make this easier for me and I’ve suddenly forgotten they are still kids who need my time….. I feel guilty!

Work is demanding and I feel unappreciated. I wonder if they know how much I really don’t want to be here andhow much I am sacrificing? I’m not really doing what I want but for now it’s a means to an end… When is it going to end?

I’m so tired, who’s going to save me? I want relief, my mind is consuming me and I don’t like where it’s going… I feel like I am selling out on something I want far greater… !

Have you ever felt like that? Want to SNAP out of it?

Pearls of Wisdom that assist in creating change - spend time contemplating the ones taht really resonate for you… it’s time to change!

• Whatever happens is meant to be - with reason - Go and find the reason!
• What never changes, never changes
• You are in control, are you?
• If the pattern repeats, there is still something more to learn, so keep your eyes openand learn quickly
• The universe never gives you situations you can’t handle
• Search for the positive meaning in things that ‘happen’- there is always a fresh perspective to ‘get’
• Have faith in yourself and what is…
• Never give up on your dreams and purpose in life
• The Universe likes to test your resolve and conviction when you’ve decided to do something, so be prepared to fight for what you want
• Stay focussed and keep the prize at the end so big and beautiful you never stop wanting it
• You get what you get, if you don’t value what you have, so start valuing what you have now!
• If you don’t know what you really want, how are you ever going to get it?
• The clearer you are, the more the universe knows how to deliver it to you
• Your security is only what you decide it is - Real security comes from what you provide for YOURSELF
• When you put your future in another’s hands, who knows where you’ll end up?
• Take full control so you can be in the drivers seat
• The only time that really ever exists is NOW, take the time to spend time with the most important people in the world - when ever you can
• Time is precious, do what you really want with it instead of what others want for you
• What you think you create into REALITY, so be sure to calibrate your mindset into a healthy, positive and productive one
• Organisation and time management is key, imperative, essential, critical

A simple little reminder that “you are the only one who is responsible for everything you experience,”  is enough to shake you back into a very clear reality - nothing quite like taking control of your life, hey?

So off to work I go - Hy Ho, Hy Ho, Hy Ho…

The big question is… How do you stay feeling great, energised, happy, validated, committed, patient, peaceful, calm and organised when so much of your life relies on you being on task?

In Part 2, I share TEN TIPS to change, grow and get organised - So you can enjoy a balanced,  productive and happy life in 2010.