Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 2
Posted by Janelle Manton on January 15, 2010 · 1 Comment
Part 2
The diary continues after the Pearls of Wisdom (from part one) have kicked in….. I was kindly reminded by many sources that life needs to change in some way (or was it me that needed to change?) In any case, I’d decided to ask the universe for assistance….
Have you ever asked for help and wondered who may respond? Sometimes the response is in the way of a subtle sign, picture or shared, timely word by a good friend and sometimes it’s a grandiose push from the far reaches of the universe…. In any case, it’s much appreciated when the signs come in and on this day, I welcomed them.
It was getting close to Christmas and our school holidays had started. Being a relatively new job, I knew taking holidays was out of the question, so called upon many favours from considerate friends and managed the first week with little difficulty although the feeling of guilt was heavy on my heart. I’ve never not spent this holiday time without my kids and nor have they… On top of all of that, Christmas was fast approaching, I needed to get organised, I’d yet to finalise gifts, decorations and where was I going to find the time? Parents were making enquiries about visits, kids were asking about going on holidays and all I could think about was making it through alive, intact and strong and stable.
With growing tensions at work and my growing discontent, more difficulty getting there on time and the merry-go-round of trying to transition from working mum to holiday mum each afternoon, I was exhausted….. and then that dreaded, ever increasing feeling that I was not being true to my purpose, my passion and what I really wanted reared it’s ugly head nearly every moment of every day.
What has not being fully confident about your abilities cost you? Are you holding back, waiting for a miracle too?
This is what I’ve discovered… some more gentle reminders of what you may already know;
- If you have big goals, be prepared to do the work to achieve them - it might not be easy, be realistic so as to not be disappointed when you put in extra time and have no time for anything else. What do you want more? Do you want more of the same old stuff or something different, bigger, bolder?
- You really have to decide and be clear - you probably have all the resources you need to make it work, acknowledge those resources with some time in a written list and then go after them
- Ask for help and teach others around you how to take responsibility - Delegate. It’s a good time to learn how to delegate to others. Remember you give others a gift when you ask them for help, people love to be thought of and we love to make a difference, so by asking you are doing exactly that.
- When you teeter totter on the fence, everything else in your life will also teeter - ARGH!
- Kids spell LOVE - T.I. M. E. - make your home time your home time. Your children, pets or lovers need you to be present, so make your home your hearth and spend quality time with the people you love.
- Your boss also needs you to be present - he/she expects the best of you, so give it and smile and consider how you can exceed expectations or find another job. It’s essential you love your job as not doing so can cause many stresses and upset - loving your job is a good lesson for your children to learn and is also much more fun.
- Putting yourself first is critical when you spend so much time giving to others. Quite often your job as a mother goes without reward and by the end of the day you are spent, exhausted and deflated. Be nurturing and selfish - you have to fill your own well first otherwise all else can easily fall apart. Remember the power of a great Girls Night Out (if you live in Brisbane be sure to check out Top Secret Women’s CLUB), some time with friends or a luscious long bath at the end of the day is valuing the one who is doing all the work - you!
- Be clear on your passions and dreams… Are you selling out, taking the safe path or in the middle of ‘risk’ and loving it? If you are not following your dreams - they will persist, so do something about it.
- If what you have done in the past has not worked, reinvent it and try again and again until it does work… if it’s your purpose and you love it, it will work - but remember you may have to work hard for it.
- Time management is key. Compartmentalise your life and be clear about how much time you want to spend in each area doing each necessary task. When you are sooo busy it’s important to take stock of what is important and spend your time there.
So to conclude this part of our working mums diary I want to leave you with one important message…. Plan, organise, believe in you and trust the universe, it always delivers exactly what you need…..
And if you really need to get away, recalibrate your energy, meet some fantastic women, embrace a newer, more powerful version of yourself, then come along to THE SEALED SECTION RETREAT…. check it out under EVENTS
The Concluding part gives you more practical tips to care for yourself, achieve great success and manage your home and family with some steam left for you….
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Just finishing reading both “DIary” entries, and although I am not a single mother I could more than relate to everything that you have said.
I really look forward to reading the next entry!