Alcohol and Intimacy are not Friends!

I loved my husband so much, we were close, happy and had a great time in our ten years of marriage… In the early days our fun was very social, it revolved around spending time with friends in exotic locations, Hawaii, Monterey California to name a few. We had many nights enjoying house parties, dinner parties, Sunday’s by the pool, we had a great time, then…

But times changed, we grew up and our friends moved in different directions, some got married, moved overseas and I became a mother.  My desire to drink all the time quickly stopped with pregnancy, then months of sleepless nights then just plain old exhaustion and this underlying sense of responsibility.

As time rolled on and I became ‘normal’ again I realised that the desire to drink alcohol all the time had completely gone. What I found instead was in order to feel like I was bonding with my husband,  I needed to drink with him.  I eventually became resentful because I didn’t want to drink everyday in order to connect with him…

As time went by, complacency kicked in, amongst other challenges and the need to have some serious conversations became obvious. It was then that I got really shitty because it didn’t matter how much I told him he ‘changed’ when he drank, he didn’t believe me.  I got tired of his voice raising unreasonably, tired of the constant debate and unrealistic view points on our declining connection, tired of drinking every night instead of connecting with me, the woman he was supposed to love.

He never hit me, always went to work and achieved great results and cared and provided for our children, so how could he possibly have a problem with alcohol management?  The fact that it was a problem for me and our ability to be really connected didn’t seem to matter enough.  I  thought if he wasn’t going to put the time in to talk to me and discuss our future ‘like he cared’, I wasn’t going to feel like being intimate with him.

So our sex life was also impacted, he stayed up late watching TV, I went to bed early hoping he’d follow me… Now please don’t get me wrong, he is an honourable and great man, we simply opposed ideas of sobriety and intimacy!

A relationship can only sustain this kind of imbalance for so long… Something has got to give. In our case it was me - for many reasons most of which were my own, I left.  The challenge I now see in a lot of relationships as a coach, is how much alcohol is like wearing a disguise, it hides the real you with a mask of  happy, sad, uninhibited, grouchy, fearlessness… In any case the real emotions are avoided.

Daily alcohol consumption is a betrayal of self and is a false layer of protection that hides the real truth of your emotions… How can anyone have a real relationship when someone  is always partying, numbed by the subtly of one too many glasses of wine?

Beside the physical side effects of long term drinking; increased weight, heart disease risks, diabetes etc… The emotional side effects could very well cost you more. How about your family? Your job? Your self esteem and confidence are impacted? What about your creativity and your intuition?  Your judgement is impaired, your reality shifts and with regular drinking can actually stay wacked (that’s a professional term).

All of these life giving elements are numbed when you drink alcohol. So ask yourself, what do you have to lose, how good does it really make you feel? Are you being your authentic self? Are you making decisions that empower you or take your power away? And who wants drunk sex all the time anyway?

A true Goddess and Warrior deserves to feel everything - intimately…your body, emotions, your spirit at play, you mind racing with anticipation your skin tingling…

Some of my friends might argue that they still see me drink every now and then, so who am i to talk about not drinking… But the difference is I only drink every now and then, a special occasion you might say.  I hope that you may enjoy the infrequency of a glass every now and then and be the power house of clarity, love and intimacy in the meantime.  if you want to talk about how you can receive and give more intimacy freely with your partner, please contact me. I can help xxx

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

September Bliss Tip

It’s SPRING and time to shape up, get fit and clear out the winter cob webs just in time for summer. We’ve had a wonderful winter, snuggled up, warm and toasty, comfort food and red wine…. Now it’s warming up and time to get your clothes off and get fit! I’m taking on a ten week challenge, and I am inviting you to do the same. Ten weeks to trim down, tone up and reduce cm’s… Are you up for it???

Janelle Manton, Inspiring Women Worldwide

Janelle Manton, Inspiring Women Worldwide

Are you a Fashion Fake?

I recently wrote an article about the Power of Glamour check it out: http://www.theauthenticrelationship.com/sensuality/powerfully-glamorous/ ) and the keys to being so gorgeous on the inside and out you become a power house of confidence and self esteem.  I mean if you are glammed up, you feel hot and feel so much better about yourself, we all do, right?

Most women have experienced the stifling negativity a bad hair day can create and most women can imagine a night of wearing hot red boots with a fur coat and how absolutely incredible you’d feel, Yes?

The power of fashion and how it makes women feel is fascinating, alluring and is something to consider when it comes to how you are perceived by others and how you honestly feel about yourself….. Let’s explore the world of fashion and whether you are hiding behind it’s facade.

The difference between the spunky warm feeling of inner confidence and self esteem and being a fashion diva who’s life revolves around fashion at the expense of being unauthentic is extreme and even dangerous to your emotional health.  If you are wearing labels so obsessively that they define you, then listen up because this article is for you.

I knew a woman once who was so defined by her Tiffany jewels, her country road everything and her other designs that even after 4 years of friendship, I never really knew ‘her’.  I’m pretty sure we all know someone like this…  Everything she did revolved around being seen as something of a mogul and super success because she wore all the right things - on the outside, her life looked perfect as she was ’seen’ in all the right places.  She judged others success by their lack of labels, glitter and gold and spoke often of what others did not have, I was one of these women who lacked the cool clothes…

And every now and then after a few drinks, her defences wore down, her inhibitions revealed a scared and lonely woman who craved love and acceptance, she feared rejection and dared not let anyone too close.  Our nights always ended in tears of fears.

What I saw was a woman who hid behind her fashion perfection and used it as a false facade of confidence, bravery and success.  Now don’t get me wrong, she was very successful but what she didn’t reveal were hidden insecurities and low self esteem wrapped up in a Country Road sweater, pants and boots, we rarely glimpsed the real beauty of this gorgeous woman. Instead she missed out on some amazingly close and loyal friendships because she wouldn’t let anyone in for fear they’d see her vulnerabilities… Any real friend who embrace her anyway, right?

The sad thing is that so many women hide behind their material possessions instead of being Real and Raw so much so, their possessions define them. How many women do you know who fail to reveal their true vulnerable nature, the woman they really are in leiu of fashion fixes?

Can you proudly wear the label of your choice and know without a doubt you are being real and raw? I mean ‘this is me, this is who I am’ kind of authenticity?

Real authenticity comes with embracing your sacred feminine self, it’s when you realise and love all of who you are, bad hair day and all and never edit who you are for anyone.  Real and raw is a continuous expression of self love in all you do, saying it as you feel it, speaking your truth, living life as you alone desire, making your own rules and letting the light of the goddess you are shine through those beautifully deep eyes. You are vulnerable and wear your heart for all to see because you realise there is nothing more beautiful than you being you…  There is little more precious in the world than a woman who is sovereign to her own divinity.

Mia Freedman is such a woman… Check out her site: http://www.mamamia.com.au/

When it comes to clothes and wearing yummy things that make us feel good, wear them with pride but remember who you really are. You are not a label… You are a magical being of light and love who has so much more to offer the world than something pretty to look at. Dare to reveal the real you under the facade of delicious clothing and be your glamorous self,  however you express your true nature.

3 Tips for Being Authentic & Fashionable

1)  Dare to show up as yourself, when you don’t really feel like making an effort, don’t. Show those around you who you really are without makeup and coordinated clothing. I don’t mean being a dag to the point of embarassing but I do mean it’s not always a fashion contest and you showing up as you are, gives those permission to do the same.

2)  Check in with yourself… Do you have to have your ‘look’ perfect before you leave the house? If so, check in with yourself as to why this is the case. If any of the reasons fall into the category of ‘being worried about what others think’, you could be a slave to fashion and hiding something very precious… The Real You!

3)  If you always look good and know you don’t have a problem with being authentic, revealing yourself, your true nature and you stand tall, then own that sister, you can lead the way for other women to follow… You are divine. Be sure to love and honour yourself often.

Please know that I am always here to help. If there is even a little part of you that you know is hiding behind materialism and fighting fears to be yourself, then please make an appointment to speak to me. The world deserves to see you for who you really are.

It takes a lot more time and effort being a fashion fake as opposed to being yourself and showing up as you feel… Just remember that when you are deliberating what to wear.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

August Bliss Tip

Flexibility is KING! Flexibility in all areas of your life is essential… Flexible behaviour allows you to discover more about yourself and others and a flexible body destresses your mind, body and soul… Here’s a few more benefits of being flexible;

• Increased blood flow and nutrients to all of your tissues which allows a greater range of motion
• More synergistic muscle coordination
• Better sexual mobility and a greater variety of positions, better sex is the best reason to be more flexible!
• Stretching causes muscular relaxation, which results in reduction of accumulated toxins, less muscle shortening or tightening, and less fatigue
• Improved posture

Stretching to increase flexibility can be as easy as joining a yoga class or sitting on the floor each night when you watch tv and doing some light stretching.  Each time you do it, it gets easier and the easier it gets, the better you are going to feel each time too. Not sure what to do? Rent a few DVD’s on yoga and learn a few basic poses and off you go.

Now flexibility of the mind is not so easy… Perhaps we should chat about that one in person. Please feel free to call or email me/

Louise Hay on Loving Yourself

The Power of Eloquence

Eloquence is the powerful, elegant, forcible and effective use of language. It’s persuasive, inspiring and reflects quality and conviction.  Some might say that eloquence is a way of strikingly verbalising strong emotions in such a way to be influential.

You’ve heard the Queen deliver a speech right? She oozes eloquence as one would expect….

Eloquence is the graceful delivery of words that is fluid with a superior level of style and confidence.  Pronunciation is enhanced and there is an appreciation of a broad vocabulary and a comprehensive comprehension of language…

So why is Eloquence so important for a modern Goddess?

Well darling, have you ever met a beautiful and delightful woman, who walked smoothly, had incredible hair and was impeccably groomed, she stood with confidence and when she opened her mouth, you nearly fell over with offense?  This apparently graceful creature was loud, raucous, rough, she mumbled with slang oozing out of her mouth?

Your impression was shattered by the rude interruption of the mouth speaking and your ears ached… This negative impression is the reason why eloquence is vital to every Goddess. Eloquence is power. It’s influential and people listen to what you have to say, when you say it with style and meaningfulness.

When you couple speaking well, with grace and poise you have a winning formula for attraction and success. Having Grace is the one thing which certainly enhances your feminine strengths and appeal, and you have to know that speaking ‘like a lady’ is yet another way to become more sensual, more powerful, more confident and more HEARD by others.

Consider the gorgeous and delectable screen Goddesses of the past, very few other women surpass their beauty, grace, eloquence and poise.  When you see such women as Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Rita Hayworth, Faye Dunaway, Vivian Leigh, Katherine Hepburn (to name just a few), you see perfection in the female form, femininity in its greatest hour…

Goddess women have curves, grace, poise, eloquence, heels, minimalism that speaks volumes. There is delight, inner strength, control, freedom, wisdom and above all, these Goddesses are sensual and sexy yet respected for the delicious and determined women they are.

Once upon a time as little as only one generation ago, elocution was taught at school as part of the curriculum and was a very valued lesson for young women.  Consistent vowel practice, rising of one’s eye brows as a means to lift your voice were common lessons. There was an air of ‘finishing school’ within the education system, especially in ‘all girls’ schools and now, elocution is nearly a lost art, a fading value within female education.

Do you remember the movie My Fair Lady with Audrey Hepburn?  This movie exemplifies the power of feminine intention and change, especially when it comes to eloquence and articulation. Language is very powerful ladies. Another great movie that demonstrates change from ladette to lady through language is Pretty Woman. There are several scenes throughout the movie that demonstrate the importance of eloquence and elegance.

The challenge with the many fading feminine arts including grace, poise, posture etc is the increase in masculinity amongst women.  When I refer to masculinity I refer to energy and the polarity that exists between feminine and masculine energy within each of us. With the increase in women working and women business owners, masculine energy is dominant and I’m afraid to say, an unsustainable way to live your feminine life.

Feminine enhancements which sustain and give an abundance of energy come in many forms, everything from taking a warm bubble bath or dancing; to speaking beautifully can enhance a woman’s attraction and the energy levels in any spirited woman.

So what are the benefits of being eloquent?

• You will be respected for your opinion and will be heard. There is a difference between being listened to and really being heard. When you are being heard, what you have to say is truly being valued. Do you want to feel more valued and respected? (Ps. You’ll respect and value yourself more - first and foremost).
• Eloquence will significantly contribute to your overall appeal as a woman, your femininity will be deeply enhanced and your sense of personal power will be increased.
• Being eloquent creates opportunities. Eloquent women are influential women as mentioned in the descriptions of eloquence. If you have the power to influence others, you have the power to open yourself to new and powerful opportunities too.
• If eloquence can inspire others, imagine what it will do for you personally?
• Feminine energy is flowing and has movement. Eloquent delivery of words is fluid and flowing and so, being eloquent with your delivery of communication, will enhance your feminine energy, an unlimited source of strength and power.

Some valuable Tips that will assist you to be even more Eloquent, Influential and Feminine are;

• Read out loud to yourself (or another) and give yourself constructive feedback that encourages you to pronounce more clearly, perhaps ask a friend to give you feedback, remember reading will also help to expand your vocabulary and comprehension
• Consider voice coaching, a series of 6 sessions with the right coach can be quite affordable and make a huge difference to the quality of your communication
• Sing out loud (I do this in the car all the time). Singing is great for strengthening your vocal cords and helps with breath control. It also gives you more awareness of volume and tonality when you speak
• Hold a strong posture and breath from your belly, take slow deep breaths frequently to give you a sense of calm control and awareness and in this space you are more likely to speak consciously
• Practice repeating your vowels, out loud whilst opening your mouth full and round and also practice repeating the sound each vowel makes (as opposed to saying the letter)
• Taking extra personal development classes like Drama, Stand Up Comedy, Presentation skills & Deportment - all of these classes are for building femininity and elocution
• Find a professional who will help you bring out your own brand of personal style. Develop that personality and be strong in your convictions about who you are… your speech will follow quite naturally when you take pride in who you are

There are so many things you can do to develop exquisite elocution and certainly, awareness is the first step toward beautifully spoken language that is most influential and powerful.  Along your journey toward become your own version of a womanly Goddess, open your heart and mind to the many possibilities and tools you have to create the woman you know lives deep within, communication is vital….

Remember, there is nothing sexier than a woman who embraces her worth, who values her womanliness and shines the torch for those around her to be a beacon of light, this you can do by speaking words of wisdom, truth and above all, love…

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Get the SEXIER SEX GUIDE eBook FREE

Now, when you sign up for Updates & Tips about Sexuality, Success Style and Events by TSWB, you receive my SEXIER SEX GUIDE eBook for FREE 65 pages of juicy Tips to help make you an even better lover… Why, because I want everyone to have access to the most amazingly connected and loving, fun relationships.  Whether you are single, married, newly weds, have a hot new partner or enjoying some casual encounters, The SEXIER SEX GUIDE gives you straight to the point tips that will enhance your connection and closeness and give you loads of info that may spark up the great connection you already have….

Sign up NOW and learn how TSWB can help you discover the GODDESS within….

GUYS, listen up - Top Secret Women’s Business has loads of information for you too, get the inside scoop on how women think, what we really want and what we love!

GODDESS ACADEMY is a HUGE Success!

Wow what a weekend! 2 and a half days of complete revitalization of the feminine spirit. Our participants let go of old paradigms of themselves, fell in love with what they discovered, enjoyed a great deal of fun, expanded and explored new horizons and open themselves to the world of the Womanly Goddess… I hope you will join us for the upcoming Retreat in November 12-14th. I am taking Deposits asap, so take action to ensure your EARLY BIRD PRICE -  numbers are strictly limited to a maximum of 12. Won’t you join us?

July Bliss Tip

July is the month to wear a dress and be as feminine as you can.  The key to being a woman is being strong in your softness, aloof with your sense of knowing, direct with your communication, powerful in the way you move, speak and decide yet understanding and open minded… This month as yourself as many times as you can each day…”What polarity am I in right now?” By that I mean which energy source are you using, Masculine or Feminine?

Masculine energy is still, goal oriented, directed, competitive, focused on achievement… Feminine energy is soft, flowing, creative, full of ideas, it needs movement and variety and is very intuitive and nurturing.  If you are at work you are most likely using masculine energy and so it’s important to remember you can get the job done like a woman and probably be more powerful and energetic for doing so.  Remember, be a woman first and foremost and if it helps you to remember, wear a dress!

Next Page »