The Business of Integrity!

Let’s Get Rich Series

The English dictionary describes Integrity as; the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards you believe in, so that people respect and trust you; the state of being complete or undivided; the state of being sound or undamaged.

The implications of integrity far outweigh the meaning when applied. It seems to me a bit of a buzz word at the moment, lots of people throwing it around and claiming it without really understanding the meaning and how to live by the rules it dictates.  In this article I am going to discuss integrity in depth because there are quite a few misconceptions of integrity’s true value and ultimate benefit of living a life full of integrity.

Let’s explore the meaning and practical application of the word Integrity… The quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards you believe in so people respect and trust you.. WOW that is pretty huge. I believe the first thing to acknowledge is that the words ‘moral principles’ and ‘professional standards’ are objective - meaning, it’s up to the individual to determine the bar on a standard.  We all know society has a level or standard which is neither right or wrong, we have own standard that is neither right nor wrong, so the ambiguity of the meaning is obvious and ultimately, up to the beholder.

In saying that, the question then is; what is your moral standard? What is professionally expected in your environment?  Whist we all have our individual thoughts on what those standards are, there is no denying the truth that having a moral standard that is respected by others should be something that is recognisable by the masses.

In the world I live, integrity means; truth (speaking and living it with positive intentions), honesty (speaking and living it from my heart), honour (being honourable toward myself and having a healthy respect for my reputation), keeping my word and being reliable, veracity (being accurate with my words of truth)… For me, integrity speaks of authenticity, being real and raw and holding a personal standard that is honourable and respectable. How this works for me in business is exceptional, I’ll explain that a little later…

How it works in my personal life is even more imperative - I have nothing but faithful relationships in my life because I want quality, (not quantity) and reciprocated truth in my friendships, anything less is disrespecting myself.

I’ve come across many people with ‘integrity’ in their hierarchy of values but what does it really mean to have integrity, what are the implications or benefits in the business world and how do you develop integrity?

So you truly understand what integrity is, here is what Integrity is Not;

• Telling a friend after 25 years of friendship you no longer want to be friends over a few lines in a private facebook message - a respectful person with integrity would make a phone call and have the courage to speak their truth
• Making a verbal business deal and not following through on your word
• Openly discrediting and being slanderous of your experiences at an event on a public forum without having the courage to speak to the persons involved that have the power to actually do something about the feedback
• Talking about people behind their back and not being respectful of an individual’s personal journey - making judgements you know nothing about
• Being underhanded in getting your way in a relationship, any kind of coercive behaviour that deceives another person in anyway - be it business or personal
• Lying about your business intentions for your personal gain

I could go on and on but I think you can all relate to at least one or many of those circumstances, either because you have been prey to it or done it yourself on occasion.  The point is, integrity is about being whole and complete, honourable and speaking your truth and being honest toward other people. A lack of integrity hurts others and makes them feel less valued. A lack of integrity is harmful.

Integrity is living from your heart space, in a state of perpetual authenticity. Anything less is fraudulent and deceitful.

The impact of a ‘lack of integrity’ in business can be catastrophic to your success and your personal reputation.  Imagine doing business with someone you do not trust or respect or who does not follow through. Imagine doing business with someone who openly speaks ill of their competitors? Imagine what they are saying about you?

Would you do business with them?

We are all human and sometimes bite off more than we can chew, there is no denying we don’t always fulfil on our promises, we are only human after all - the difference is though, how you own your misgivings, how you handle the situation and how well you recover by speaking up and admit you didn’t get it right and then do something to correct the situation. Here is an example;

• Recently at one a Top Secret Women’s event we had major challenges with catering and promised bubbles and canapés upon arrival to our event. Due to circumstances beyond our control (IE liquor licensing), we were not able to deliver, however, we compensated by having available homemade cupcakes and strawberries with chocolate… It was not bubbles but it was also not anything at all.

Here is how Integrity will create a Rich business and make your wildly wealthy;

• When people trust and respect you, they will buy from you - So, keep your word and speak the truth - in business, under promise and over deliver
• Never speak ill of your competitors, companions, colleagues or clients - 1) You never know who they know 2) You look like a discredited fool 3) You leave people wondering about your integrity - Golden Rule - If you have nothing nice to say, SAY NOTHING!
• Recognise the possibility in every situation - Even the biggest stuff ups can lead to new opportunities, even an opportunity to show you have integrity is a worthwhile one, live with your eyes wide open and see the world with positive eyes, you will be surprised at the good that comes your way, especially in business
• Conduct your business with an ‘open heart and emotion that is real and authentic’; when you genuinely want to make a difference, assist and help others, it’s obvious. People do business with those that really care about their needs
• Be as accurate as possible in your deliverables, when speaking of benefits, again, under promise and over deliver - you will always impress your clients and they will talk about you, viral/referral marketing is most powerful
• Build rapport, reveal your true self, do not hide behind false pretences, show up as you are, live from your heart (even in business because you are doing business with other normal people who appreciate realness) and dream big - you are only limited by your own imagination…
• True wealth is the richness you have in being an authentic human being - being rich in spirit is priceless, remember that when you are in the middle of your next pitch!

Integrity is a highly valued commodity this day in age, practice it daily, recognise the signs of being in lack with it and learn in every moment the difference you can make in every ones lives when you show up ‘full of integrity’.

I work in an environment that has Integrity in its highest values and in the corporate world, I’m not sure they really understand the full implications of the word… I wonder how different the corporate world would be if everyone actually lived the true value of integrity to the extent of its real meaning… Rather than dabble in what they think it means - I imagine a totally different, more empowering workplace, happier colleagues, more business and higher credibility….

How are you showing up?

Want coaching on integrity and implementing strategies into your life and business that change the way you show up?   Call Janelle for a FREE 15 minute Passion Power Session and discover 3 things you can do immediately to change your life. Email me with your phone number or Skype address; admin@topsecretwomensbusiness.com

I am an Ordinary Woman!

I’m an ordinary woman… I have curves like most women and there are parts of my body I’d like to change if I could but I’m happy with what I’ve been given. I have a warm smile and I know I have warmth in my heart because I can feel it. I see the world through bright blue eyes but how I see the world is my very own Uniqueness - as it is for every woman.

I often make mistakes, sometimes over and over again until I eventually understand the universe is trying to tell me something and I eventually get the message - the valuable learnings, so I can move forward.  I have a tendency to attract the ‘mack truck’ kind of experiences - you know, the ones that hit you smack bang right in the face, hard and it hurts like hell.  I’ve started to learn much more quickly and read the signs now before I get run over. I hear the voice within, feel in my senses and my intuition but I don’t always listen…

I strive to be the best parent I can be and struggle not to blame my parents for fucking it up for me. I remind myself they taught me what NOT to do as a parent, so I’m ok, I know they did the best they can and for their efforts, I am grateful. My kids love me unconditionally and while it’s not always easy, we manage and we have a lot of fun. Like most mums, I’d do anything for my children and can’t imagine my life without them, they are the teachers, they are the wise ones in my world.

Every day, a little bit more of my heart is forgiven for leaving my marriage instead of sticking it out and working it out. Every day I send him love and hope my childrens father doesn’t hate me for changing our family.  And every day I am grateful I have had the opportunity to explore who I really am as a woman since then.

Throughout this journey I have taken on my own, I’ve learned many things and experienced even more… Who I am, what I want, what I am capable of and what I am not. I’ve discovered who my real friends are and who is most important to me and what it means to be a girlfriend - loyal, strong, nurturing, compassionate, happy! I’ve decided I’m still learning how to be a great girl-friend.

I seek no validation, nor fame. I want freedom to be me, as a warm hearted mother and spirited lover. I desire the peace of mind that comes from speaking my mind and being present with my emotions. I want freedom to be emotional without excuses or hiding behind a veil of bravery - for I know my strength comes from my ability to release, realise and accept how I feel.

What I want for myself is a sense of knowing that I am equanamous with mother nature and that I am the same life force that thrives in her.  The feeling that I am indeed, powerful beyond measure but I don’t always feel that kind of power… In fact, sometimes I feel completely powerless and full of pain.  When I watch TV or see the atrocities that are committed in the world against women and children, I realise I am not alone, we women have a long way to go till we are free… Free from what? Ourselves and the walls we have built over centuries of hiding and denigration?

We no longer have the fear of burning at the stake - at least not in this country but we still live with fear - fear of being a deeply loving sexual goddess, fear self of expression and speaking our truth, even if our love is at risk. I’m an ordinary woman, I want what every woman wants - to feel like a woman one who can and does harness the power of the greatest mother of all - mother earth.

Every now and then I get a glimpse of  mother earth connection and it brings me back down to earth, literally pulling me down to the core of who I am, the core of the earth.  I am most grounded and at peace when I am connect with the core. My connection with the earth mother makes we want to run wild and naked through the woods howling with joy and a sense of freedom - but if I did that, run like the wolves, would I still be an ordinary woman?

I don’t want to hide behind the cloak of that which I have created but to not hide, leaves me open to explore uncharted territory… Do I dare go where the wise women before me have gone? Do I reach up, reach out, speak up and dare to shout out from the roof tops what I actually want… Do I even know what that really is?

I wonder if other ordinary women feel the same as me? Do they too want to scream from the roof tops and be set free? Do they KNOW without a doubt, of the feeling of wonderment, wildness, willingness and wisdom that resides within their heart and have they too lost their key to unlock the mysteries of womanhood?

Do other women want more from life, to unleash the suppression that lies heavy in their hearts? Do they know the great love of source and  spirit resides within them?

I am an ordinary woman, but I FEEL so much, so deeply, with complexity that leaves me bewildered, enriched and sometimes confused and scared. I FEEL so much love and yet, shy away from the love of others. I play a dance of openness and close up when it’s not comfortable for me to be so vulnerable.

I know how to surrender and open myself to vulnerability, I understand my strength when I am vulnerable and open like a flower… But if I question myself, do I really know how to fully surrender? Would I have not run like the wolves by now? Would I have not spoken up and stood out and shouted from the roof tops, my hearts desires?  Would I have not challenged this very world we women live in?

Would I have not screamed my fucking lungs out, with the greatest intensity during a session with my lover? If I was supposed to be fully surrendered, why would I have ever held back?

I am an ordinary woman, I live with passion and wishes fulfilled, I have desires and hopes and some of my dreams are so far, left unfulfilled… Marianne Williamson said it best in her book ‘A return to love’, we are powerful beyond measure, when we shine our light, we give others permission to also shine….

So anything less than me being EXTRAORDINARY, isn’t me being myself, isn’t me leaving my mark on this world. It is certainly not me being everything I know I am…. I am extraordinary, I just know it, I always have been.

You are just like me, you feel it, don’t you? Won’t you join me and be extraordinary too… The great mother earth, our world and the women in it, need us to be more - more of everything we know we are already…. It’s time to surrender and unleash!

Everything we discuss here is covered in The Goddess Retreat - you are not alone, you never will be. Nothing you experience as a woman ever has to be misunderstood, never has to be left unforgiven… Begin your journey today and join us.  CLICK HERE for dates and details.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

Recognise Burnout – Before it’s too late!

In recent weeks, I’ve been blowing the horn at both ends (so to speak), working around the clock on a project for another company, doing the graveyard shift on Top Secret Women’s projects, events AND coaching clients.  Add to that a healthy dose of domestic duties, raising two children, now 11 and 13 and nurturing a new relationship - you’d safely agree, I have my hands full but not necessarily any more than anyone else.

At the beginning of the year I spent ten days in silence at Vipassana - a ten day silent Buddhist retreat.  Ten days of complete peace, grounded quiet, simplifying life in ways I’d only ever dreamt of through meditation… And all too quickly the hounds of overwhelm have kicked in and nearly taken over - had I not recognised the signs of reaching burnout. Thanks to Vipassana I have a significant comparison to draw on when recognising when life is getting a little too hectic and it’s taking its toll on me.

Perhaps you too might recognise the signs of burnout or overwhelm? Perhaps it’s not a coincidence you are reading this article today?

Here is what you need to know about the signs of overwhelm, burnout and stress, (according to my experience), keep a look out for them;

• A slight increase in your heart beat, it’s a little louder when you are doing tasks and there is a sense of urgency that won’t settle
• You go to bed going over and over in your head how much needs to be done, what you didn’t do and in which order you will get even more done tomorrow and sleep with an uneasy feeling in your stomach
• Your dreams become more erratic and irrational, they are loud and stranger, more vivid and you either sleep more heavily or toss and turn
• Your overall energy becomes strained, you feel tired and can’t get enough rest and lack lustre
• You feel a little cranky or short tempered and have little time for waiting, waiting for anything. Impatience takes over.
• You withdraw from your lover, your family, your friends and swim in the circus you have made around you - it consumes you
• Your enthusiasm and motivation takes a nose dive and you struggle staying passionate and inspired about what you are doing, it’s like you forgot what it was all for. You lose sight of the purpose and goal
• Your libido slowly melts away (shit, now you are in trouble, even less feel good endorphins) and your partner also feels the withdrawal. Now you have pressure from him or her. Unconsciously, they are following your lead in the withdrawal by reflecting your projections.
• Other things like short temper, crying, feeling overly emotional, the feeling of wilting, anxiety, not wanting to get out of bed and over-reacting, are all signs of a pending burn out

There are more things to look out for and the variety and order of which you may feel these things is unimportant.  The important thing to understand is how to read the signs, see them coming and do something about it before it takes over.

Nearly everyone has at sometime in their life experienced overwhelm or burn out and it’s time to recognise the signs and actively pursue solutions and remedies before it hits you with its full force and debilitates you.

In recent studies, it shows that 1 in 4 women will experience some kind of depression in her life. The 58% of mother’s sex life is non-existent,  47% of women wish they could lose weight, 50% of Australian mothers work, 1 in every 10 women have experienced some form of domestic violence and the average woman only has 30 minutes of leisure time in every 24 hours.

This is just not good enough!  These percentages are on the rise, so what are you going to do about it?

It’s time to become more aware of what is happening to your body and mind, become the observer in your own life so you can effectively regain control. Recognise the signs of ‘doing too much’ and give yourself the regeneration time you not only need, but deserve!

Combating overwhelm is easy when you understand when it’s taking over and recognising the signs is the hardest part. They say a problem well stated is a problem half solved, so be your own boss and tune into your body a little more so you can be self aware enough to save yourself from burnout.

I advise that I am not a Dr, but you know that, so take this information wisely and do not hesitate to see your doctor if you feel you need to.

Here are some Solutions for easing the overwhelming feeling of burnout and how to bring back balance;

• Find time for yourself regularly and I mean REGULARLY! You can easily avoid burnout by taking time out regularly to rejuvenate - start a weekly and daily ritual of spending some alone, quiet time - read, meditate, go for a walk, paint, dance, yoga, journal…
• Wear sexy knickers and clothes that make you feel fabulously sexy, powerful and dynamite. Do not underestimate the power of sexy stockings under your work dress, the sauciness of soft lace against your bottom, the feel of silk on your forearm and a fresh spray of your favourite fragrance… Dressing for YOU is most important. If you feel sloppy and wear track suit pants you are certainly not going to feel more powerful are you? So get up, make and effort and dress so you feel and look superb!
• Go on a date and re-invigorate your relationship, wear sexy clothes, do something special, send flowers with gorgeous love notes, spice it up and surrender to the one who loves you. They are not the enemy or the cause of your anxiety… They are however, a way for you to successfully escape the circus and enjoy some real loving. Remember orgasms increase your feel good endorphins and you will naturally feel better with a romp between the sheets with a well deserving lover.
• Enjoy some girl-friend time. Your partner is not a girl-friend and should not be expected to listen to you and converse with you in the same way. Spending time with friends takes you away from the tasks at hand and allows for rejuvenation of a different kind. Make sure the time spent is quality time, not a slagging match of how busy and miserable you are. Go to the movies and have a coffee after to discuss the movie, go for dinner, visit the local market and take a beach swim on the way home, enjoy a home shopping party with a glass of bubbles, pamper each other with facials or massage, play a game, dress up and go dancing…. There are a million things you can do with a girlfriend, you just have to make the call and do it regularly, don’t leave it till it’s too late! The chances are, she needs it too.
• Prioritise time and tasks. It’s critical that as a working mum or business woman that you have a list of priorities and YOU are number one. If you let yourself go on with such speed and neglect your own pampering, everything else will go to shit also. You know it, right? This is the ripple effect!

The most important thing to remember is to read the signs, understand your own body, before they kick in, have a game plan to take time out. You should be planning one of these activities each week to avoid burnout and have a very well planned schedule to allow for such time, it is essential. There are also a vast selection of practitioners, healers, educators that have so many options to give you that extra boost, make sure you utilise them - you do not have to take this journey on your own. We are here to help you.

One immediate option is a Passion Pop Experience with me… There is nothing like it to spark you back to your passionate self…

That is also why we have planned Ladies Pamper Expo - because we recognise the need for women to take time out. We understand the staggering statistics on mental health and well being and we want to make a difference and show you how fun looking after yourself can be.

We start from the inside, clearing what gets in the way and give you options for moving forward with confidence and pride.  We hope you can join us for what is going to be Australia’s Biggest Pamper Party!

Brisbane first, then Australia…. Are you in?

Tickets can be purchased from; http://topsecretwomensbusiness.com/events/ladies-pamper-expo-tm/

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

CEO, Top Secret Women’s Business Pty. Ltd

All rights reserved © 2011

Passionate Girlfriends - The Keys to Lasting Real Friendships

A good friend will speak to you, even when she is getting a brazillian

This is dedicated to my girlfriends, you know who you are!

Yesterday I called a girlfriend for a chat, I really needed to hear her opinion on something I’d decided on. When I called I said, “hey hon, have you got a minute, I just want to run something by you”, she said sure. So off I went on my rant and shared all sides of the dilemma with her. At some stage she mentions she ‘just getting a brazillian now’ and continues to support me and my decision making process - all the while having hair ripped out of her body….

Now I don’t know if you have ever had a ‘Brazillian’ but they bloody hurt like hell and even under the extremes of pain, she was there for me, to hear me and support me… God I love her and that is why, to this day, she continues to be my friend after 27 years.

A good friend will always be there for you, no matter what is happening. She will support you, share her honest opinion and make you ‘pull you head in’, when you need that too.

There was a time just recently when my beautiful lover told me he wanted to be with me ‘forever’. Now me, being in the middle of my struggle to let go and allow vulnerability to reign, said in response, “there’s no such thing as forever, how about we just do this for as long as we can”… God I’m a dickhead!!!  I witnessed the immediate deflation of his enthusiasm and his energy withdrew, just like that. And then of course I tried to redeem myself with a rambling because I realised what I had done to his sense of romance and commitment to me… ouch!

Later, I told my girlfriend (the same one) what I had said in response to him (you see us girls do share our thoughts and happenings with our besties) and she gave me a royal kick up the arse… It went something like this “Jesus Janelle, you’ve waited so long for a man like him to come into your life, wake up to yourself, can’t you just let him love you, get the fuck out of your head and just allow yourself to be romanced and loved”!!!

WOW, had I been told… And of course, she was exactly right. It was exactly waht I needed to hear.  I didn’t need permission to be so incredibly in love or loved but I did need to let my guard down so I could experience the full enrapture of loves power and force. The guard or wall around my heart, I didn’t even know was there (well I did but it’s more easily recognised by others, perhaps it’s because of their own reflection)..

Anyway, it was a relief to knock down the wall and a conversation with my lover on my ‘findings’ had me allowing vulnerability and going with the flow of ‘forever’… Imagine that, forever in love! My relationship immediately benefited from my arse kicking, thanks to the courage of my girlfriend. Not only did she see what I was unwilling to see, she had the courage to tell me so. Blessed I say, blessed!

My point? A real girlfriend is the one who is not afraid to kick your ass and tell you to pull your head in. She is loyal and willing to risk the friendship in order to speak the truth. She is forgiving and accepting of all of you and tolerant of other things. She embraces your family, children and other friends (even if she doesn’t really like them that much), she respects your decisions even if she doesn’t understand them and does so without judgement.

The real girlfriends are the ones you can trust with your secrets, your ideas and your dreams. She holds sacred the ‘vault’ and honours what you have to offer as your own. She does not bend the rules of the vault you share.

A real girlfriend cries with you when you are grieving and then helps pull you out of it as best she can. She will ask you if you want a ’shoulder’ or advise and listens to you either way. She checks in on you when you’ve been silent and reminds you of the good times you’ve shared when you need a laugh. She shares her knowledge and memories of you with your children and reminds you of who you really are, where you’ve come from and where you are headed… She is a memory bank for those you leave behind.

She walks alongside you in the journey of life - giving and taking, sharing, laughing, enjoying good and bad times. She talks to you during a waxing session and jumps to the rescue when you are feeling down or wanting fun and myschief. She is willing to run to your side when you need a hand and laughs at you when you are being silly.

She is a member of your tribe, the community of women you hold sacred and close. She is essential. For a long time or a short time, good friends keep us alive and well and hold us accountable for being real, they leave their mark and provide us with lessons and learnings, they are priceless and precious.

Friendships you are passionate about energise you and give you freedom to be authentically you. They give you someone to love when there seems to be no love in your life but them.  They provide a reflection for you to see and experience ‘who you really are’. What you see in them is in some way, a reflection of how you see yourself, for that, we should be grateful and appreciate every moment.

If you have a special friend that you honour and respect, tell her today. If you have women in your life that you’d like to be closer to, do something for them and tell them you want a friendship with them, they want friendship too. If you have a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while, call her - she needs you. If you haven’t told your friend how much you love her in a while, tell her now. If it’s been like ‘forever’ since you got your girls together for some valuable ‘girl time’ do it now, every woman needs the support of the little tribe you have. If there is a woman who needs a little extra care and support right now - invite her into your tribe and care for her.

There is no reason on earth why a woman should ever feel alone or lonely. We are communal by nature, it’s in our primal nature to be in communities of other women…

What are you doing to nurture your tribe, your friendships, yourself?

I invite you to join Top Secret Women’s Business for any of our upcoming events so you can make new friends, join a growing tribe of like minded women and feel supported, loved and free- You may just enjoy a little fun along the way…

Cherish your girlfriends with insatiable passion and nurture your sacred feminine spirit as you do so…

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

Director, Top Secret Women’s Business Pty. Ltd

All Rights Reserved 2011 ©

If you wish to repost this article, please do so only if you wish  to credit the author

3 Ways to Ignite your Passion

In a recent article I mentioned the key things that cause your passion to wain - Complacency, Not Knowing and Fear.

Complacency is when you slow down your efforts and enthusiasm, stop going the extra mile and we get very ‘comfortable’ with life in such a way it eventually becomes boring and we lose interest.  You might even say complacency is giving up… Giving up hope, your dreams, giving up caring…

Not Knowing what you are passionate about is also a major problem because if you’ve never really thought about it, how will you know what to get excited about?  When you figure out what it is that is your driving force, what lifts and elevates your spirit and juices you up, you can live your life with purpose and passion.

Most people who are living their life’s purpose are also living a passionate life and experience happiness, daily!

They love what they do, it doesn’t feel like work and they bounce out of bed daily to jump into it. Not knowing what you are passionate about can leave you feeling flat, lost, stuck and on the treadmill of life…

Fear is completely immobilising but always present for everyone. The difference is when we let fear rule our life very little changes. Fear of what people think, fear of consequences, rejection, failure, fear of the unknown, fear of looking silly in front of your peers… Fear is a killer of passion and will stifle even the most driven people should it be allowed to take over. Kick fear in the butt and do it anyway is what passionate people do!

It’s important to know what kills passion so we can eliminate what stops you from living a full and passionate life.  As I’ve mentioned any times, passion is a driving force, it energises you and gets things done. Someone who is passionate is alluring and confident as they are fearless in going after their dreams. Passion makes you a better lover and able to surrender to the yearnings of your heart. Passion fills you with hope and purpose, excitement and delirious fun filled energy…

So the golden question is -

How do you ignite you passion and get more of what you want in life?

How does passion really help?

Let’s explore the top 3 things you can do o ignite your passions so you can get more done and start producing the results in life you really want!!!!

No 1. Know what you want and understand what it is that fulfils you and what juices you up. When you can spend some time working out exactly what it is you want from life, work, your relationships and YOURSELF you can clearly get passionate about it. A life of purpose is a lifetime of doing what you love, there is no such thing as work when you love what you are doing and ‘who’ you are doing.  So spend some time brainstorming and start narrowing your focus to what you really want.

A great exercise to do at home is to write a simple list of all the things you   want to do, be and have and concentrate your efforts on the few things that         really get you excited.

No 2. Take a spoon full of Courage and do it anyway, regardless of how fearful you feel!  The most important thing is to eliminate fear, simple kick it in the butt and do what you love anyway. So long as you have the greater good in mind and your choices do not negatively impact others (including yourself), then you are on the right track.

A lion’s share of Courage can do wonders for your confidence, your results and the experience you enjoy.  If you find fear prevents you from giving life your best shot then consider it part of the process - Feel the Fear and do it anyway. You’ll find that the fear was unwarranted and not real anyway.

If you have a debilitating fear and need help overcoming it, then ask for help, be willing to live outside the box and take control. You can call me; part of my Passion Pop Experiences is eliminating fear processes so you can get the full ‘pop’ and get on with it - full of passion.

No 3. Take engaged, creative Action. I hate the word action as it seems to minimise what it really takes to do the stuff that truly counts and makes a difference.  Engaged, creative action means to be fully attentive and meaningful in everything you do, think about what you can do differently to make life exciting and full of passion?.

Be mindful of the consequences and what you are creating. DO with purpose and intention. Engaged action is what it takes to maintain passion. If you are just doing the actions it takes to get something done without being mindful, then it’s very easy for those actions to turn into complacency - feeling stuck and on the treadmill of life. So use your imagination and be engaged in the process and take creative engaged actions toward what you want.

An example of this is in your personal relationships you might discover what actions really turn on your partner, so it becomes the thing to do. While it     action started out exciting your lack of creativity and variety causes that action to now be ordinary. Complacency and lack of imagination make your sex life   boring and a lack of interest results = less love making ad boredom… I know that example is a little extreme but you get the picture. Be adventurous and use your imagination!

By eliminating fear, knowing what you want to get passionate about and taking the appropriate actions toward what you want you can easily live with passion and get excited about what you are doing and who you are spending your time with.

Getting passionate about your life can eliminate all kinds of ‘ills’ including depression, loneliness, confusion, desperation, boredom and frustration (to name a few). Think about it for a moment… If you are passionate about what you are doing in your life, career, relationships, with your health, you self, then how does something like depression live in such an environment? How can desperation and boredom exist? If you are passionate and getting out and about ‘doing’ then being lonely is a thing of the past, you’d be meeting people and engaging in life. You’d be genuinely interested in what you are doing and who you are meeting.

When the statistics for men and women suffering from ‘depression’ are so high, there has to be an easy solution to eliminating this modern dis-ease and feeling happy about life once again, right?

I don’t promise a cure because ultimately it’s up to you to decide to change, what I can promise is clarity, solutions and results. Invest in a Passion Pop Experience with me and discover a whole new life full of passion and purpose.

A Passion Pop Experience is great for anyone at a cross-road in life and wants clarity in which direction to take. If you are feeling frustrated in your career, your relationships, have never really ‘allowed’ yourself the freedom of feeling the full expression of your passionate self, then this 1.5 hour session could be just what you need to set yourself free, once and for all!

Book in with me directly by emailing janelle@topsecretwomensbusiness.com your session includes 1.5 hours of experiential passion popping processes to ignite your life and set you on the right path… toward your bright and fulfilling future!

Love your life, because you are worth it!!!

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

Director

TSWB All rights Reserved 2011 ©

Top 3 Passion Killers

There are times in life when not a lot in life seems overly exciting. The couch seems like the better option than standing up to exercise, eating takeaway is easier than making food that is healthy and nutritious.

Your relationship hit a critical mass ‘breakdown’ - neither party is willing to spice things up or talk about real issues, sex is a chore (what the?), housework is even worse and putting any imagination into your life ‘together’ seems futile.

The kids are bored and fighting, work is a burden of dreary ‘good for nothing’ means to an end unmentionables and even your social life fails to excite you… Kill me slowly….

What is going on? Where have the days of loving your life gone?  You used to love your work, now it’s a mundane time consuming pay check.  Your partner used to excite the fuck out of you, literally, now the sight of them makes you want to run for the hills or roll over (even if it’s a temporary ailment, it still occasionally happens) and the thought of excercising and loving your body, increasing your energy and being pumped by life is only something those crazed personal trainers enjoy…

Adventure is out of the question, I mean what is this adventure you speak of anyway? Adventure is for kids, NOT!!!!!!

I could go on here but you get the picture….

The worst part is, even if this ugly picture does not apply to you, there is a little bit of it in all of us, at different times in our life, times when our passion and vavavoom for life has simply melted away…  It’s the stuck state you hate, the treadmill that you want OFF! Well it doesn’t have to last forever…

So what happens, does passion just get up and walk out on us in our time of need?

What stops us from maintaining our passion and lust for the things that are most important to us?

The top 3 Passion killers are:

No1. Killer of passion is COMPLACENCY… When you take your eye off the prize, your eye off the target and stop putting in any effort, complacency kicks in. We get a little too comfortable, a little lazy perhaps, can’t be bothered and seise all passion increasing activities.  When you stop making an effort life starts to resemble a treadmill of monoteny, it’s the same, day in day out and your arch enemy COMPLACENCY thrives in such environments.

No2. Killer of passion is ‘NOT KNOWING’ what you are passionate about. If you have nothing to be passionate about - like a career you love, a partner you adore, a body that excites you, friends who inspire you, hobbies that motivate you, then it may be time to make some decisions and gain some clarity about what you would like to be passionate about instead of maintaining the current status quo. You’ve settled for ‘what is’ instead of deciding what you really want and then going after it. Not knowing can also indicate an unwillingness to explore what is possible. To this I would say, isn’t it time do dare to do something that actually excites you?

No3. Killer of passion is FEAR, fear of getting outside the box and daring to do it, ‘life’ that is. Quite often you are ruled by fear and it’s debilitating claws that you dare not do anything different for fear of the consequences. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being abandon, judged, fear of being broke, fear of what people think…. Sound familiar? Fear has a strong hold over us for many reasons and the fear mongering world we live in only serves to generate more fear…

There are many different reasons why passion can melt - health problems, significant trauma, events of the past that are unresolved, social stigma to name a few more, perhaps you never had it to start with?

In any case, all of these can be healed, repaired, ignited and put back on track with the right help. You can break free of the chains that bind you, you can crack complacency and overcome your fears, you can ignite and discover your passions, I’ll show you how, all you have to do is decide it’s something you need right now.

Passion is for everyone to enjoy, it’s only fair that you enjoy every aspect of your life and live like each day is your last. It’s makes common sense to let go of a past that doesn’t even exist anymore and get on with living a full and over flowing life, but are you?

It makes total sense to do what you love and love who you ‘do’ with absolute crazy passion… Passion makes you feel powerful and if you feel it, guess what, you are powerful.  Passion makes you feel energised, enlivened and enthusiastic. Are you getting enough?

Anything less than you living your life passionately, isn’t you being your full and vibrant, loving and amazing self, isn’t it?  Why would you compromise who you really are?

What can you do today that puts a little more passion back into your life?

What do you need to ‘move away from’ in order to get what you want?

What lengths are you willing to go, to discover what your passions really are?

How would your relationship improve if you popped a little more passion into it?

Ready to breakthrough some boundaries and totally pop with Passion? I can help, all you need to do is say, BOOK ME IN!

Join me (over skype) for a ‘Passion Pop Experience’, it’s a specific way of experiencing a pop into being more passionate in all areas of your life. I will take you on an experiential journey into new territory, so you can feel free to LOVE YOUR LIFE with PASSION!

You will pop through the glass ceiling that currently stops you from feeling the love (in any area of your life). Come Pop with me. Sessions are 1.5 hours and $295AUD Email me you interest and I will schedule your appointment.

Sometimes changing your life is a simple as a POP in your imagination….

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

TSWB (C) All Rights Reserved 2011

Show me the way home, Deal Lover

Dear Lover,

How I crave you. Every day my craving grows and expands in a way I’ve never experienced before.  And my cravings are always satiated with your presence… Only to reignite when you are away from me…

I fell in love with you quickly my darling because you are so much like me, you are a reflection of me and how I feel about myself, I see myself in you. There are times when I wonder about love and if my love for you is more infatuation, an ‘in love and lust’ kind of love and then you sweep me away to yet another paradigm of understandings and depth… another world of something so unconditional I can hardly breath, my love.

Sometimes when you are away I start to doubt myself and my fear of such closeness stifles me.  What if you see all of me and who I really am? What if you don’t think I’m perfect or irresistible?  What if you change your mind about loving me?  I’m slowly unravelling in my trust and when I feel a little uneasy, you have this uncanny way of reassuring me with your open heart and open mind, you see me, dear lover, you hear me dear lover and you embrace all of me… Dear Lover, how I love you.

You allow me to open my yearning heart and yield to its cravings. The delicious ways you open me to universal love is incredibly revealing and raw, it’s who I am and who I have always desired to be but have never achieved entirely on my own…

It’s only in our intimate relations with another that we really see ourselves, this I’ve discovered with you my love - In our reflection we discover who we really are and my blessing today with you, dear lover, is how much I love and adore you, how much I admire your courage to love so openly and honestly, how willing you are to discover the depth of feeling and experience true, unconditional love can bring.

I’m eternally grateful because the very way you love me brings me closer to me, my core, my growing love for me is your true gift.  Thank you dear lover for showing me the way home - to my own heart…. Oh how I crave…

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

Top Secret Women’s Business

All rights reserved ©

Astonishing Extraordinary, Dear Lover…

Dear luscious lover,

I knew beyond a doubt you were on your way to me. There have been so many times in the near past where I’ve felt your energy close by,all this time I have been waiting for you to arrive…

At night I’d sit outside watching the stars wondering what you were doing, thinking about how close you were and yet still so far away.  Sometimes in my frustration and impatience I’d demand you hurry up and do the work so we could be together.  It was those times I realised I was also preparing and making my way to you too.  I often wondered what you looked like and how you smelt, what your hobbies are and who your friends are….

But none of it really mattered. What matters the most was I could sense your energy and you excited and fulfilled me before I even met you. It was the profound connection with your vibration, how we matched, that made it really easy to recognise you when you finally arrived… you are like looking into the mirror into my own soul, that is why I can be so open with you.

What I love the most is how you open me to love. Your fearless enthusiasm and never ending understanding gives the feeling of complete safety to be myself, I feel secure in your presense and knowing you are close. The yearning in my heart is satiated for now because I have you. I know I will continue to demand more of you as we grow together and so the desire to be totally satiated by your love will never be entirely fulfilled. I love that about you, knowing I will always want you…

When we are apart, in the dead of night, I awake to a deep yearning within my body. Only my body is aware of the demands of my lust for you. As I lay asleep, free to feel without distraction, my conscious mind asleep, my body writhes in craving for you to open me to your loving touch. Such is the power of our connection, to be deeply asleep yet so absolutely awakened by my very thought of you…

You have infiltrated my mind, body, spirit, my entire life as I had hoped and prayed you would. I am never left wondering about your feelings and thoughts as you willingly share them with me so as to keep me remaining comfortable and safe in your love. Of course this only serves to make me love you more….

When I think about our future together I am reminded that right here and now is the only moment that counts and my going off on tangents of time not yet enjoyed, is taking me further away from this moment, this moment with you…

It’s this moment that takes my breath away and makes my heart beat faster and my body hunger for you and with this thirst, I simply know I will love you more then, just by the way I love you now…

Dear lover, I am all yours, you are my astonishingly extraordinary twin flame I have waited and prepared for.  I open my heart for you to give you my love and so I may feel your affections and endearing words in return. My body is open to yours in an everlasting bond of wild passion and my spirit is open to yours so I may feel the concentration of our connection beyond any physical realm, way beyond and drink you in…

I am so relieved you found me at this time in my life and opened me to the profound love we share.  This journey we take in experiencing love is a gift of colossal proportions -  One I want to take with you by my side…

Dearest Lover, let us take a walk…

Inspired by my favorite write, David Deida

With love,

Janelle Manton

Top Secret Women’s Business (all rights reserved 2011 (C)

The Silence is Deafening!

It’s in the silence… I found myself amidst the consistent, nagging tunes of George Michaels ‘Amazing’ even when the blackness came and there was nothing else, the words were there still in the deep recesses of my mind… do do do do, I think your amazing… and after 3 whole days of this constant banter, on the fourth day, I found the depths of my spirit, peacefully waiting my return home…

I spent my Christmas break and new year celebration in the silence of my mind, alone, along with about 70 other dedicated meditators… Vipassana was a holiday from my life and I welcomed the time of silence, ten whole days of it!

Leading up to Vipassana, there was chaos of gigantic proportions, financial concerns that created massive worry, uncertainty, anger and fear. My family life was in upheaval with arguments taht seemed to grow in size each time, my relationship turned from beautiful to dependence which was out of my control (so it seemed)…. I’m sure my friends were sick of me winging and seeing me so low, so I retreated and withdrew… My business which I love so much was slowing down for the year and was desperately hating life, getting up off the couch was difficult enough… But to add to it all, I had let my health slide, taking up bad habits to excess, putting on weight and not valuing my body enough to not poison it!

I’d been thinking about attending Vipassana for a while. The first time I thought about it was when I had a broken leg, a great time of reflection, but I was advised that the physical aspect of meditating and long hours of sitting would be a challenge, and so, like a lot of things, I put it on the back burner… for 5 years!

I thought not talking would be the difficult part seems as though I never shut up, I always contribute and have no problem giving my opinion… But by the time I got there, I couldn’t wait for the noise to shut the fuck up! I’d had enough. My mind was constantly reminding me of what I did not have,  jabs at how lazy and fat I am, always letting me know my business was not successful enough, that I was not enough… I had literally become sick of hearing it and was on my way to breaking point.  My world seemed to be crashing down upon me like an abyss of nothingness.

I don’t know if I the only one who has ever felt like that, but I can say, I don’t ever want to go back there again… The abuse was indeed deafening me and slowly killing my spirit, me! I arrived at Vipassana retreat centre in Pomona a desperate woman, ready to do whatever it took to snap out of my misery and into a new, fresh, clean start…

The first 3 days were extraordinary, so much noise in my head, so much abuse and negativity, I thought it would never end. I went to the teacher in an almost crazed state because I just couldn’t get George Michael out of my head, I couldn’t stop worrying about what was and what was not in my life!  In fact, my headaches were extreme migraines of release. Poisons being released, negative thoughts and emotions… letting go, surrendering to the peace that is below and beyond…..

Our teacher patiently taught me how to shift my focus and to have faith, very little instruction, fewer words… Once again, trusting and having faith was my lesson. On day 4 I got it…. Like the best drug I’ve ever had, there was nothing like it! Quiet! Peace! Finally…

During my afternoon meditation, the dark stillness finally came, utopia of the mind was felt, the subtle vibration of my entire being experienced in bliss, equanomous with nature, no boundaries, infinite and expanding like the universe itself, I am the universe!. Total resolution.

In that moment I understood who I really am. I am no different to you, we are all the same, I am more than enough, I am extraordinary and a miracle. A vibration of pure energy, a single atom of consciousness expanded into a being of light and love…

But it was only an experience. Like most things in life, it was only that, one moment of pure experience, nothing to be craved or sought after, nothing to get addicted to, just enjoyed in the present moment. Nothing more, nothing less…. To crave it would only cause more misery.

Day 6 was my hardest day as I settled into a rythym and understanding of why I was there.  I had left the chaos of home and life to find peace and self love and most importantly, a way of coping with the mess that I thought was life outside… In the middle of my morning mediation, amongst my 70 odd fellow meditators I started to cry…

I don’t know if it was fear of returning home that started the giant flood or how happy I was to be there, whatever it was, was far less important than just observing without question and letting my tears flow… And flow they did… All the way down to my belly button, ironically to the place I once drew my life force energy from… The final surrender to pure bliss emptied my heart as it left, making room for the miracle of unconditional love and understanding….

And so went the following days… the days turned into night and the night into day. Meditation, meditation, meditation. Quiet surrender with an understanding of nature, observation of all that is, from a spider spinning its web, pain and joy, to the slight and subtle vibration of my spirits energy… deliverance from misery, the slow journey of elimination of negativity at the very core of its conception… The rebirth of true understanding embraced, the silence, a gift to myself I will always cherish and nurture…

Ten days of silent reflection and observation, zero communication with anyone but myself, over 100 hours of sitting meditation, 4.15am starts… Just myself, complete solitude and in those cherished days, I discovered the secrets to eternal peace and abundance, discipline and vigilance… Of which I am bound to be successful!

I discovered the calm that is really who I am and regained control of my life. I developed and embraced a new way of being and truly understand the importance and what it takes to have balance in my life, to put myself first… But most importantly, I uncovered the blessing of slowing down, doing things in my own time with discipline, simplifying my life and eliminating expectations that disappoint…

Living in the present with mindfulness and calm is who I am. Observing instead of irrational reaction is who I am. Loving unconditionally with understanding and compassion in my heart is who I am… Being a Goddess and embracing what I do is who I am…

There is not greater gift to give yourself, than the gift of silence… Anything less than that is deafening!

If you would like to find out more, please email me. If you are interseted in one on one coaching with me, again, please email me - I am here to be of service! xxx

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

admin@topsecretwomensbusiness.com

Top Secret Women’s Business All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

The Collision Course Called Love!

When love strikes, it can hit like a freight train… In my experience, there are two types of freight trains; the kind that slowly builds up momentum and speed and keeps a steady course all the way till it reaches its final destination. Then you have the kind of freight train that stops every now and then, drops off a load, picks up new stuff but keeps on chugging long…

Trains can’t come to a full stop in an instant; they take between 1-2 kilometres to actually come to a full halt. They have to brake slowly, gently easing into a stop and with so much weight behind them; inertia alone is enough to keep them going for some time.  Love is a lot like a freight train, two souls steaming toward each other at different speeds, hoping they reach the destination at the same time.

My Dad was a train driver so I understand the intricacies of train driving, having grown up with them and I know all too well the dangers that can lie ahead if you are not watching.  In 42 years in the railways, my dad had 2 suicides jump in front of his trains; it seems that they too knew the power a train has and that it simply can’t stop right away.  And I would bet that if those two lost souls could be asked why they jumped, it would have something to do with love or the lack of it…

Love can come in all shapes and sizes, for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes love lasts forever and other times it’s a fleeting moment in time, like in the movie “Bridges of Madison County”, one woman forgoes her lover for a life of honouring her husband and family… But she never stopped loving the travelling photographer, knowing they had loved once, was enough.

One of the wonderful things I adore about love is how it can come to you in so many ways, I’m sure you’ve heard a friend tell you ‘how she met her new boyfriend’?  Sometimes it happen when you least expect it, it can just creep up on you and all you have to do is say YES!

For some, saying yes is a big challenge; it means surrendering and feeling vulnerable. It means giving something up or it provokes memories of a time when love did not last, and that brings about hurt and pain. The force of love can take you to the depths of your deepest fears, directly into a collision course with your consciousness and with your newly found loved one (should he arrive at such a time).

What love delivers when you recover from the crash is nothing short of a miracle… Pure heartfelt yearning, openness and a vulnerability that is so pure, it is power and strength unto itself… Pure love is never fully satiated, it yearns always for more depth, more understanding, deeper levels of connection and passion but finds happiness in every moment.

In order for you to feel such love there are a few things that need to happen - whether you have a current partner or not;

1)      Do the necessary work on yourself to clear bad memories that no longer lift you. This could mean getting a coach or seeing a counsellor, working your way to the other side of a painful situation. REalise by changing how you feel and see the world, you can change it.

2)      Most of us have heard of the laws of attraction, so start using it… What you think you create, so start thinking about who you want to bring into your life and perhaps write down what is really important to you

3)      Take good care of yourself, nurture, be gentle, tap right into your feminine energy if you are a woman. For the guys truly sink into the feeling of being a male who is compassionate, caring, patient and most importantly - open to receiving love…

4)      Be the kind of lover, woman or man, you want to attract. If he or she has similar values and beliefs, it’s should be easy… It’s simple enough to say what you want, but are you the ideal match for the person you want? Do you have work to do?

5)      Realise that your potential new love partner is also on a journey and he’s heading your way, just waiting for the right time to collide with you in a synchronistic moment… Because that is what love does, when you least expect it.

Love really is the colliding of two souls ripe for the collision… Now the collision should not have any casualties, in fact, if you are open and honest enough about whom you are and what you want, then it may never have to end. Loves bliss is likely to last a life time with two open, willing to grow together souls.

Love will always meet you where you are at… If you are used to failing in love and are not willing to be a different person next time around, then it’s a likelihood you will get more of the same.

Why do you think women go from one abusive relationship to another? Because they have not done the work within themselves to change what they think they deserve, therefore attracting more of the same. If you want a different outcome, it’s essential to go about the task in a different way… And ask for help if you don’t know how to change.

My coaching programs with women do exactly that, help women to change and ultimately, see themselves as deserving and worthy of the greatest things in life, especially love. When a woman finds strength and reason to celebrate being herself, then the likelihood of colliding with love that lasts is more likely.

When you truly love and cherish yourself, then the channels of love are open and flow freely…

If true love is passing you by, then look in the mirror and be honest about what you see because love starts with one single person and that person is you - loving you!

If you are interested in a course in love and changing your ways, please contact me for a consultation to see if I am the one to help.  I do initial phone interviews with all my clients before we agree to proceed. Email: admin@topsecretwomensbusiness.com and leave you number for me to call you anywhere in the world.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

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