Are you a Fashion Fake?

I recently wrote an article about the Power of Glamour check it out: http://www.theauthenticrelationship.com/sensuality/powerfully-glamorous/ ) and the keys to being so gorgeous on the inside and out you become a power house of confidence and self esteem.  I mean if you are glammed up, you feel hot and feel so much better about yourself, we all do, right?

Most women have experienced the stifling negativity a bad hair day can create and most women can imagine a night of wearing hot red boots with a fur coat and how absolutely incredible you’d feel, Yes?

The power of fashion and how it makes women feel is fascinating, alluring and is something to consider when it comes to how you are perceived by others and how you honestly feel about yourself….. Let’s explore the world of fashion and whether you are hiding behind it’s facade.

The difference between the spunky warm feeling of inner confidence and self esteem and being a fashion diva who’s life revolves around fashion at the expense of being unauthentic is extreme and even dangerous to your emotional health.  If you are wearing labels so obsessively that they define you, then listen up because this article is for you.

I knew a woman once who was so defined by her Tiffany jewels, her country road everything and her other designs that even after 4 years of friendship, I never really knew ‘her’.  I’m pretty sure we all know someone like this…  Everything she did revolved around being seen as something of a mogul and super success because she wore all the right things - on the outside, her life looked perfect as she was ’seen’ in all the right places.  She judged others success by their lack of labels, glitter and gold and spoke often of what others did not have, I was one of these women who lacked the cool clothes…

And every now and then after a few drinks, her defences wore down, her inhibitions revealed a scared and lonely woman who craved love and acceptance, she feared rejection and dared not let anyone too close.  Our nights always ended in tears of fears.

What I saw was a woman who hid behind her fashion perfection and used it as a false facade of confidence, bravery and success.  Now don’t get me wrong, she was very successful but what she didn’t reveal were hidden insecurities and low self esteem wrapped up in a Country Road sweater, pants and boots, we rarely glimpsed the real beauty of this gorgeous woman. Instead she missed out on some amazingly close and loyal friendships because she wouldn’t let anyone in for fear they’d see her vulnerabilities… Any real friend who embrace her anyway, right?

The sad thing is that so many women hide behind their material possessions instead of being Real and Raw so much so, their possessions define them. How many women do you know who fail to reveal their true vulnerable nature, the woman they really are in leiu of fashion fixes?

Can you proudly wear the label of your choice and know without a doubt you are being real and raw? I mean ‘this is me, this is who I am’ kind of authenticity?

Real authenticity comes with embracing your sacred feminine self, it’s when you realise and love all of who you are, bad hair day and all and never edit who you are for anyone.  Real and raw is a continuous expression of self love in all you do, saying it as you feel it, speaking your truth, living life as you alone desire, making your own rules and letting the light of the goddess you are shine through those beautifully deep eyes. You are vulnerable and wear your heart for all to see because you realise there is nothing more beautiful than you being you…  There is little more precious in the world than a woman who is sovereign to her own divinity.

Mia Freedman is such a woman… Check out her site: http://www.mamamia.com.au/

When it comes to clothes and wearing yummy things that make us feel good, wear them with pride but remember who you really are. You are not a label… You are a magical being of light and love who has so much more to offer the world than something pretty to look at. Dare to reveal the real you under the facade of delicious clothing and be your glamorous self,  however you express your true nature.

3 Tips for Being Authentic & Fashionable

1)  Dare to show up as yourself, when you don’t really feel like making an effort, don’t. Show those around you who you really are without makeup and coordinated clothing. I don’t mean being a dag to the point of embarassing but I do mean it’s not always a fashion contest and you showing up as you are, gives those permission to do the same.

2)  Check in with yourself… Do you have to have your ‘look’ perfect before you leave the house? If so, check in with yourself as to why this is the case. If any of the reasons fall into the category of ‘being worried about what others think’, you could be a slave to fashion and hiding something very precious… The Real You!

3)  If you always look good and know you don’t have a problem with being authentic, revealing yourself, your true nature and you stand tall, then own that sister, you can lead the way for other women to follow… You are divine. Be sure to love and honour yourself often.

Please know that I am always here to help. If there is even a little part of you that you know is hiding behind materialism and fighting fears to be yourself, then please make an appointment to speak to me. The world deserves to see you for who you really are.

It takes a lot more time and effort being a fashion fake as opposed to being yourself and showing up as you feel… Just remember that when you are deliberating what to wear.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Easy Top Secret STYLE Tips

What if you just  made one stylish change per week?  Fashion and Style are more about how you feel about yourself than it is wearing nice clothes… And it does not have to cost a fortune.  Cath McIllwraith one of new Team Members has a great Blog called Fashion Fixes and Faux Pas - check her out for more info… and enjoy reading some simple solutions from TSWB below.

Join Cath’s Face book Group below:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fashion-Fixes-and-Faux-Pas/160397273709* Forget about the word “fashion” and think “style” - it may be mentally less intimidating or more “wearable”! says Ripley.

* Even if you stay at home, make an effort to dress everyday as if you are going out. This changes your whole approach to even the most mundane household chores and how you feel about yourself - Self Esteem is Key! You will find you have a more positive attitude and are less inclined to be reduced to a couch potato, in your slovenly sweat pants and baggy T-shirt. And you never know who will pay a random visit…

* Clear out your closet. Get rid of those items which are outdated, do not suit you (or fit you) or simply do not make you feel good. Make room for that new wardrobe of clothes that you are going to build, slowly, piece by piece. You have to make way for the NEW by getting rid of the OLD… Check out:  http://www.becshui.com.au  for an awesome Brisbane organiser and google a local person near you for help.

* Take stock of how many classic items you currently have in your closet. Start building new outfits which will prove versatile and timeless - go anywhere and do anything. You should aim to have a wardrobe base of well cut, classic pieces and a few cheap fun, fashionable outfits that are right on trend, which can be replaced every season. Its a great idea to make a list of what you need to complete a classic wardrobe and buy them as you can afford (as opposed to shopping impulsively and at will)..

* Treat your wardrobe as an investment. Create a closet that is full of must-have pieces rather than make-do ones, it’s a great feeling owning beautiful clothes and when you plan, you get more of what you really want.

* Ensure that your wardrobe is built around some style staples which will take you from season to season and can be dressed up or down. A good coat, a little black dress, a wrap dress, well cut denims, a classic pair of black pants, cashemere cardigan and a stylish crisp white shirt. Update these looks every season with some gorgeous, easy to access and affordable accessories.

* A really great handbag and a pair of ‘get outa here girl - tssss’ shoes, will transform any outfit. Again, great planning and organisation will have you getting multiple uses out of the same great handbag and shoes with several outfits for different occasions.

* Understand your body shape. Are you a pear, apple, brick, hour glass or inverted triangle? Google free fashion advice and learn how to dress for your body shape.

* Learn how to make the most of your assets. Learn how to disguise big hips, stomachs or a larger bust and learn what not to wear if you are short or flat-chested. These simple tips can make you feel amazing instead of self conscious. The right neckline and pant cut can make a great deal of difference to how you shape up.

* Be a Smart Shopper. Ask yourself a few key questions regarding what suits you before you shop and plan what to buy in advance - as above.  This is really important if you are on a budget and need a new look at the same time.

There is never a better time than the start of the new year to create a brand new you. The first important step is to clear out your wardrobe ‘daggies’ because they do not make you feel good and use up valuable space - Vinnies or other charities would be grateful to have your dated treasurers. The second is to learn what cuts and colors work best for you and the basic style rules of women’s style.

Finally, the next time you feel inclined to throw on a baggy T-shirt and pants, Ask yourself this valuable question - Am I going to feel fabulous wearing that? Remember comfy can still be sexy and flatter your self esteem..

Love you honey - go be Fabulous!

How to increase your Self Esteem through Personal Style

   I wake up every morning jump out of bed, stretching and yawning another day ahead, make my way to the shower and it’s then I notice in the bathroom mirror the nasty swollen, bright red pimple on my chin, argh!  Not only that, I can almost see the chocolate cake I ate after dinner last night on my thighs and I swear I didn’t have those dark circles when I went to bed last night.  No amount of squeezing gets rid of the pimple, my evening walk is too my hours away to melt the cake from my thighs and I have no time to sleep anymore and I am sure cold soggy tea bags on my eyes is an old wives tale and let’s not even mention my hair.   I woke up enthusiastically and now, all of a sudden I feel like a lead balloon. My self esteem is shot to pieces with one quick look in the mirror.

Have you ever had a morning like that?

    Perhaps most of your life has been spent reminding you of your ‘imperfections’ and then wasting  positive energy on the negative emotions that come with critical self talk, and the occasional pimple.   It’s no surprise to most women to hear - the way you look has a lot to do with how you feel about you.  I know firsthand, as a woman, friend, coach and having worked with women all my life, how a few extra kilos mid month can make me feel ineffective, fat and sometimes even gross.  I have heard many friends and colleagues say similar things, under similar circumstances. We are our own worst critics but it’s time to ease up and love the body you are in, by taking simple steps to nurture yourself each day.

“If you look after yourself, you obviously love yourself”

   There is plenty of proof that indicates that how we look has a lot to do with how we feel, just ask a friend if that is true.  And how you feel has a lot to do with how much effort you put into looking even better.  What you choose to do about it (if anything) has direct impact on your inner confidence and self worth - when you take action that nurtures your womanly needs, you are honouring and valuing yourself - if you feel good you naturally look good…. if I make building self confidence and self worth sound easy, that is  because it is.

   There are many ways to increase your self esteem, feel glamorous and develop your innate sense of confidence.  By developing your own sense of style and taking good care of yourself on the outside, you will feel strong and worthy on the inside.  And how you feel about yourself on the inside is reflected on the outside.  Does this mean you have to wear mascara and pretty clothes everyday to feel good about yourself - no, not at all. But imagine if you made some small improvements to your morning routine, added a few little extra steps and made it mean “I love myself even more”…

   Increasing and developing your sense of style is all about how you feel about you and only you.  What extras steps would you be willing to do, if you knew it would increase your self esteem and confidence and help you to feel great - like a powerful, feminine woman?

   Style is all about expressing your personality and develops your individuality - it’s an expression of who you are both inside and out and tells us a lot about who you are and how you feel about you.

   Below are four simple tips to start to develop your style to assist you in feeling like a divine goddess each day.  It’s likely your morning routine already includes these steps, so it’s time to kick it up a notch - how can you increase your personal style, so you are nurturing and honouring the very person you are - everyday?

   Before I list the four tips, you may have asked the question I always get regarding external applications for feeling good. “How can putting on makeup or wearing a pink shirt make me feel good - It can’t!  But the act of respecting, love and making effort to take care of yourself, can. Effort is also an expression of your femininity  and self respect, which is indeed a strength in itself.

• 1) Makeup - Historically, women have been applying enhancements, jewels and colour to adorn their faces and bodies for eons, so why stop now? I rarely leave the house without mascara and lip gloss - that’s because for me, it’s a way of honouring myself as a woman. What is your ‘can’t live without’ makeup item? Do you have one? It could be time to develop your signature look with a little extra makeup, a specific colour of lipstick or gloss or blush to accentuate your features. If you are a heavy makeup user, try toning it down a bit to let your natural self shine through. Either way, you are honouring your sacred feminine and most importantly, making an effort for your own benefit.
• 2) Accessorise - Necklaces, co-ordinating ear rings, rings, scarves, hats, gorgeous belts, hair clips, brooches, head bands, tights and bangles. The key is to keep is simple, make a statement and coordinate with your clothes. It’s a great idea to develop your own signature items and vary them regularly… Be bold and express a little more of you.
• 3) Your clothes are simply a way to protect your body but who says they have to be ordinary or boring? My advice here, is to get your colours done by a professional image consultant so you can wear colour with confidence and flare. A few key items in your wardrobe that are an expression of your style are essential. Again, be bold and brave and dare to step out of your comfort zone and move away from societal expectations of style - by this I mean, move away from mainstream stores and get out into the local markets, local designers and the niche corner boutiques. Always go feminine and flowing, even a fitted business suit could be ‘femmed up’ with a floral or hot pink blouse and sexy tights.
• 4) Lastly, stand tall, hold your space and energy within and go forth with your head held high, there is nothing more gorgeous and more nurturing for your self esteem than good posture, poise and grace. Be playful and have fun - because at the end of the day, the most important person in the world you want to impress, is you.

   Remember this lovely ladies, cute clothes, funky accessories and a well made up face are not smoke screens for the real you. If not expressed for the right reasons, they could very well be that. There is a saying that ‘the most gorgeous and well groomed woman in the room, is most likely the most insecure’ - don’t let that be you.  When you make an effort, adorn, nurture and take time for you, it clearly is an expression of your self-love. Remember, you are already perfect as you are and your womanly birthright gives you lots of toys to play with to make being a woman even more fun.  Make it grandiose and love who you are - from the inside out… and observe how you shine.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton