Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 2

Part 2

The diary continues after the Pearls of Wisdom (from part one) have kicked in….. I was kindly reminded by many sources that life needs to change in some way (or was it me that needed to change?) In any case, I’d decided to ask the universe for assistance….

Have you ever asked for help and wondered who may respond?  Sometimes the response is in the way of a subtle sign, picture or shared, timely word by a good friend and sometimes it’s a grandiose push from the far reaches of the universe…. In any case, it’s much appreciated when the signs come in and on this day, I welcomed them.

It was getting close to Christmas and our school holidays had started.  Being a relatively new job, I knew taking holidays was out of the question, so called upon many favours from considerate friends and managed the first week with little difficulty although the feeling of guilt was heavy on my heart. I’ve never not spent this holiday time without my kids and nor have they… On top of all of that, Christmas was fast approaching, I needed to get organised, I’d yet to finalise gifts, decorations and where was I going to find the time? Parents were making enquiries about visits, kids were asking about going on holidays and all I could think about was making it through alive, intact and strong and stable.

With growing tensions at work and my growing discontent, more difficulty getting there on time and the merry-go-round of trying to transition from working mum to holiday mum each afternoon, I was exhausted…..  and then that dreaded, ever increasing feeling that I was not being true to my purpose, my passion and what I really wanted reared it’s ugly head nearly every moment of every day.

What has not being fully confident about your abilities cost you? Are you holding back, waiting for a miracle too?

This is what I’ve discovered… some more gentle reminders of what you may already know;

1. If you have big goals, be prepared to do the work to achieve them - it might not be easy, be realistic so as to not be disappointed when you put in extra time and have no time for anything else.  What do you want more?  Do you want more of the same old stuff or something different, bigger, bolder?
2. You really have to decide and be clear - you probably have all the resources you need to make it work, acknowledge those resources with some time in a written list and then go after them
3. Ask for help and teach others around you how to take responsibility - Delegate. It’s a good time to learn how to delegate to others. Remember you give others a gift when you ask them for help, people love to be thought of and we love to make a difference, so by asking you are doing exactly that.
4. When you teeter totter on the fence, everything else in your life will also teeter - ARGH!
5. Kids spell LOVE - T.I. M. E. - make your home time your home time. Your children, pets or lovers need you to be present, so make your home your hearth and spend quality time with the people you love.
6. Your boss also needs you to be present - he/she expects the best of you,  so give it and smile and consider how you can exceed expectations or find another job. It’s essential you love your job as not doing so can cause many stresses and upset - loving your job is a good lesson for your children to learn and is also much more fun.
7. Putting yourself first is critical when you spend so much time giving to others. Quite often your job as a mother goes without reward and by the end of the day you are spent, exhausted and deflated.  Be nurturing and selfish - you have to fill your own well first otherwise all else can easily fall apart.  Remember the power of a great Girls Night Out (if you live in Brisbane be sure to check out Top Secret Women’s CLUB), some time with friends or a luscious long bath at the end of the day is valuing the one who is doing all the work - you!
8. Be clear on your passions and dreams… Are you selling out, taking the safe path or in the middle of ‘risk’ and loving it?  If you are not following your dreams - they will persist, so do something about it.
9. If what you have done in the past has not worked, reinvent it and try again and again until it does work… if it’s your purpose and you love it, it will work - but remember you may have to work hard for it.
10. Time management is key.  Compartmentalise your life and be clear about how much time you want to spend in each area doing each necessary task.  When you are sooo busy it’s important to take stock of what is important and spend your time there.

So to conclude this part of our working mums diary I want to leave you with one important message…. Plan, organise, believe in you and trust the universe, it always delivers exactly what you need…..

And if you really need to get away, recalibrate your energy, meet some fantastic women, embrace a newer, more powerful version of yourself, then come along to THE SEALED SECTION RETREAT…. check it out under EVENTS

The Concluding part gives you more practical tips to care for yourself, achieve great success and manage your home and family with some steam left for you….

Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 1

This is a three part series that shares an insight into being a working single mother, the cycle of emotions and attitudes and how to gain Work Life Balance.  We discuss how to enjoy your children more, how to live the life you were born to, how to overcome a negative attitude toward your job and be a more productive YOU. Enjoy helpful work, life balance tips and start living again!

These dairy entries are for every woman, single or not because at the end of the day, the same challenges face us all… Too much to do, in too short a time with too much going out in to the world and not enough coming back in.

Last year I started working full time (just for a while) - As an employee, after 6 and a half years of self employment and full availability for my children, I feel I should share what I discovered.  I have written many articles about Work/Life Balance and working full time took me to new heights of learning how to juggle kids, Top Secret Women’s Business, house and social life - and most importantly my energy and personal attitiude.  Like never before, I had to take my own advise….!

You may be familiar with this scenario -  6am wake, 8.30am start at work and a 5.30pm finish, getting kids ready for school, dressing myself, lunch boxes, Load of laundry on, sweep the floor, get kids to school early (or at least on time), rush to work - too much traffic this morning… Going from being available to no spare time at all,  a house who’s tidiness is failing me and a car that needs a service and a clean,  mail to open and dinner to cook and let’s not even mention laundry, lunch boxes and dust… So on and so forth!

How does a woman ‘really’ have a balanced, successful, happy life and still find time to exercise and prepare healthy fresh meals, entertain the idea of a relationship and water the plants? In this part one I briefly touch into the emotions and mindset of a working mum and give some ‘Pearls’ to get yourself off the merry-go-round of exhaustion, discontent and dissonance.

So the Diary begins -

Today is about what I feel and what I need to be reminded of….

Today I feel the biggest challenge which really pulls at my heart strings is my decreased availability for my children. They once had me at their beck and call and now there is barely enough time to read a bedtime story - or so it seems…. I missed my daughter’s last game of softball, her music concert invite got lost in a pile of paperwork and my son is only 9 and needs his mummy hugs still, he is fighting with his sister more and more, I suspect it’s to get my attention….  My expectations of my children have increased exponentially to ‘help out’ and make this easier for me and I’ve suddenly forgotten they are still kids who need my time….. I feel guilty!

Work is demanding and I feel unappreciated. I wonder if they know how much I really don’t want to be here andhow much I am sacrificing? I’m not really doing what I want but for now it’s a means to an end… When is it going to end?

I’m so tired, who’s going to save me? I want relief, my mind is consuming me and I don’t like where it’s going… I feel like I am selling out on something I want far greater… !

Have you ever felt like that? Want to SNAP out of it?

Pearls of Wisdom that assist in creating change - spend time contemplating the ones taht really resonate for you… it’s time to change!

• Whatever happens is meant to be - with reason - Go and find the reason!
• What never changes, never changes
• You are in control, are you?
• If the pattern repeats, there is still something more to learn, so keep your eyes openand learn quickly
• The universe never gives you situations you can’t handle
• Search for the positive meaning in things that ‘happen’- there is always a fresh perspective to ‘get’
• Have faith in yourself and what is…
• Never give up on your dreams and purpose in life
• The Universe likes to test your resolve and conviction when you’ve decided to do something, so be prepared to fight for what you want
• Stay focussed and keep the prize at the end so big and beautiful you never stop wanting it
• You get what you get, if you don’t value what you have, so start valuing what you have now!
• If you don’t know what you really want, how are you ever going to get it?
• The clearer you are, the more the universe knows how to deliver it to you
• Your security is only what you decide it is - Real security comes from what you provide for YOURSELF
• When you put your future in another’s hands, who knows where you’ll end up?
• Take full control so you can be in the drivers seat
• The only time that really ever exists is NOW, take the time to spend time with the most important people in the world - when ever you can
• Time is precious, do what you really want with it instead of what others want for you
• What you think you create into REALITY, so be sure to calibrate your mindset into a healthy, positive and productive one
• Organisation and time management is key, imperative, essential, critical

A simple little reminder that “you are the only one who is responsible for everything you experience,”  is enough to shake you back into a very clear reality - nothing quite like taking control of your life, hey?

So off to work I go - Hy Ho, Hy Ho, Hy Ho…

The big question is… How do you stay feeling great, energised, happy, validated, committed, patient, peaceful, calm and organised when so much of your life relies on you being on task?

In Part 2, I share TEN TIPS to change, grow and get organised - So you can enjoy a balanced,  productive and happy life in 2010.

Faith and Success - Because you gotta have Faith, Faith, Faith

So you’re business is struggling and you’re wondering when your hard work is going to pay off?  Have you ever experienced a time in your life where no matter which direction you turn, there is a road block? And what about the times when one ’seemingly’ disastrous pit fall after another hits you head on… Sound familiar? 

I think we’ve all been through dark times here and there - whether the darkness consumed your career or personal life, it is one in the same and it’s an essential part of life’s balance, but how well do cope and how fast do you move forward? 

At the end of the storm, what was it that got you through?  Perhaps a strong belief in yourself and your abilities or maybe a friend bailed you out or gave you a shoulder to cry on.  You might even have gotten more education to support yourself but it all takes time and sometimes, we just don’t have time… So what’s a gal (or guy) to do?

Start praying? It’s been said many a time that when the going gets tough the tough start praying… It wouldn’t be the first time that someone who isn’t even religious, starts praying for help…

In a recent experience where I needed to ground myself, energise and move out of a challenging situation, I found myself praying - literally. It doesn’t really matter if it was to God or another because the most important thing is that I drew on a power greater than me - regardless of what his or her name is… It was FAITH that drew me nearer to forward movement. 

You are probably wondering how praying becomes a Success Strategy? 

Well let me ask you this… What is the one thing, EVERY religion in the world has in common?  It’s FAITH! Pure unseen faith.  Belief in something bigger than self, faith is a belief that has no logical proof, it’s a feeling of conviction about another… So why is it when the chips are down, most people resort to their faith?  On their death bed, in accidents, losing investments… faith, faith, faith. 

Doing business ‘like a woman’ requires you to ‘go within’ and draw on strengths you know exist but rarely utilize… Faith is one of those inner strengths that get you through and assist you in honouring who you are from the inside out.

Everything in the universe has a polar opposite - black white/in out/ day night/ love fear/ down times up times, which means with every cloud there is the sun. For every challenge there is an opportunity, with every hurdle comes a lesson of learning, for everything you lose, there is something to gain - especially when you have faith in the universe working that way.  When things don’t go right after months of effort and planning, what are your choices? Quit? Or do you get right back on the proverbial horse - Because you have faith you are on the right path?

If you quit and give up on your dreams, how do you know if you were only inches away from making it big? 

So when it comes to Success Strategies how does faith fit into the equation? Consider this:

• Faith means having a strong belief in yourself - first and foremost
• Faith is having an inner strength and conviction about who you are
• Faith is a belief in something that does not rest on logical proof, it’s a sense of knowing
• Faith helps you to stay focused and uses the laws of attraction
• Faith allows you to live your life’s purpose, in blind faith not knowing what the future will really bring
• Faith fills your well and gives you the sense of being complete
• Faith ignites passion and keeps you shining
• Faith is grounding and keeps you in the present moment
• Faith gives you something to believe in - especially yourself
• Faith has no boundaries and is limitless

As a Success Strategy, the application of Faith is simple and essential for you as a woman and may be practised as follows:

• Visualise your outcome and goal achievements and totally align yourself energetically and believe it to be true
• Be clear of your outcome in full sensory detail
• Be open to ‘how’ you get things and think outside the box. The answers you seek could come in ways you may not have yet considered
• Be open minded and develop your ability to trust - Even in things you can’t see
• If you are in a dark place and can’t find your way out, ask for help, get the right advise, centre and ground your energy by meditating and shifting your focus, remember to be clear of your outcome - this too will pass
• Understand that there will always be challenges, hurdles and obstacles, they are a natural part of life and every time you overcome one, it means you are moving forward
• There are always opportunities hidden in challenges, hurdles and obstacles, especially for those who are looking for them, you just have to have a little faith
• Have a sense of knowing you are getting what you want in every given moment
• Nothing lasts forever, even challenges move aside for those who take ACTION, so take action now
• Remember you are a woman first and foremost and understanding the multiple-dimensions that make up who you are is important to your success, FAITH is part of that ’self’ belief system

For some women, being a good mother makes you feel successful, others measure success with financial gain or career climbing, success is personal and yours to identify.  There are many strategies to gain success and they are only quantifiable by the user. Only you know what success means to you but whatever you do, have a little faith, it could be the very thing you need to continue to move forward. Choose to see the light because the light is always there….

Faith can mean many things to many people… What does FAITH mean to you?  What if you had a little more faith in yourself, your abilities, your future success, your ability to attract abundance and joy, what would you be doing that is different from now….?

On the 26^th of July 2009, I had the word ‘FAITH’ tattooed on my back, always backing me up and edging me forward.  Thanks to my father for teaching me what Faith truly means to me…

With love

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Insatiably Yours… x

Hi Gorgeous,

I have come to love the word insatiable.Recently, I was described as insatiable and i have to admit, it was by far one of the more beautiful compliments I have ever received. I have used the word many times in the past few years and love it’s movement and flow. By description in the English dictionary it means to be unfulfilled or to never be satisfied. The Thesaurus likens insatiable to words such as greedy, avid, ravenous, unquenchable, voracious and unappeasable. I am not sure i like the sound of some of those words as they have an under tone of wanting too much and not being satisfied. I beg to differ…

I was inspired to write about being insatiable… I had to ask myself the question, why do I simply love the word ‘insatiable’ so much? Careful contemplation brings me to this explanation…

We live in a world that is jaded by hurt and pain and the effects of the things that ‘happen’ to us. The other morning there was a competition on the radio that was a bid for $500.  The winner had to outbid the previous bidder based on the trauma and desperation of their pain and the horrible story they told as to why they needed $500. To give you an example, the person who currently had the $500 won it to pay for their fathers head stone after his recent death. The bidder who out bid him, had the same sad reason for needing the money but their circumstances were even more painful (according to the judges????).

This kind of ‘Dark side’ promotion is disgusting and only serves to increase the pain we all feel from time to time – call it collective consciousness. To me, breeding and encouraging the ‘pain body’ as Eckhart Tolle so eloquently described it, is a preposterous notion.It appears our community here on earth has become obsessed with living with negativity… We are all guilty of it from time to time, but why breed and encourage such darkness globally? The darkness of these emotions is so still and stagnant.

As guided human beings, we often set goals and are ‘satisfied’ and ‘comfortable’ with what we have achieved– some call it content. You get to a stage in your lives where you are fulfilled and content and there is certainly nothing wrong with being happy with that, we all deserve a piece of happiness pie. You may achieve your dream career, and enjoy a gorgeous and loving family, the ‘perfect’ relationship….I am be happy with whom I have become in my recent ‘journey to the centre of my being’ but I won’t settle for that because I know there is so much more for me to enjoy, explore and discover. My happiness is just a stepping stone to even greater happiness to come….This is where I start loving the word insatiable…I don’t want to settle for contentment, fulfilment and satisfaction because those descriptions all have an ending to them, they are final, finite. Insatiable has no ending, like an insatiable thirst for knowledge has no limitations. Imagine an insatiable desire to ‘own who you are’? You would stop at nothing to go down the rabbit hole to your centre of your being to realise your perfection and find such peace there, but it doesn’t ever stop now does it? Imagine your personal boundaries and how far your life could take you, if you had an insatiable craving for life’s experiences, what joy you could find there?

Go with me for a moment… What if your lover had an insatiable yearning to be with you and pleasure you and love you and devour you and you also had an insatiable longing for him (or her)? Insatiable could last forever as you discover your inhibitions together. Wow! The passion and intensity you can create is mind blowing and certainly has no restrictions… Imagine your physical success if you had an insatiable desire for a healthy fit body - can you imagine how much further you would push yourself, how much more motivated you would be? You could almost sink your teeth into your exercise routine.

So you want a life of success? Loving relationships? Loyal friendships? You want to learn more and grow more? You want more financial success? Then my immediate suggestion is to get seriously insatiable about what you want - become ravenous! Bring energy and passion into your dreams and see them explode with vibrant energy… A friend recently reminded me that we are all a ‘work in progress’ - thank you darling. I totally agree, and whilst we are busy realising we are perfectly perfect with our imperfections, we are indeed needing to get a little ‘wild and insatiable’ about our desires for our abundant future… Even when you succeed, your insatiable desire to dream even bigger will kick in and you will be off and running with the wolves once again…

How do you become ‘insatiable’ about your goals, dreams and aspirations, about who you are?

Firstly, know exactly what it is you want, if you are not sure, get a coach to guide you through the process of uncovering what it is you truly desire, have your vision clear.

Once you know what you want the second step is to get a full colour picture of what that looks like when you have it, live into the picture with detail. Imagine what you can hear, see, smell, even taste when you have it… feel the intensity rising and the passion increasing…

Then set about making it happen, plan, take action, ask for assistance where needed. Most importantly, use the word insatiable often and have faith… If you want to know more about how you can live a passionate and insatiable life, please call me for a chat…

My only question to you right now is this…

How would your life be different if you adopted an insatiable desire to live it as your imagination sees it?

Let’s talk.

Insatiably yours, Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

1300 88 69 82