Are you a Real & Raw Goddess?

When I think about being Real and Raw, I think of a woman walking down the road - we’ve all seen her… Perhaps she not really even that traditionally ‘pretty’ or incredibly well dressed or that fit and toned but oh my Goddess, I’ll never forget the look in her eyes… The look that says, “I know who I am and I’m not afraid to show it!”  Her eyes have it hidden for only those really looking to see…

The Real and Raw woman is as authentic with her words as she is her heart. She is gorgeous beyond belief but ONLY because she believes in her own inner beauty, strength and confidence. She is true to her word, reliable and respectful and maintains high values for herself and those around her… She is as solid as she is soft.

The Goddess who is Real and Raw is open and fearless about her vulnerabilities, easy to surrender but not easy; she understands the art of intimacy and has an insatiable thirst for depth, connection and real relationships… She is as open minded as she is worthy of knowledge.

The Real and Raw she wolf is a self validated woman who is an example of truth and honesty and her communication skills are second to none, especially when it comes to her heart’s desire, her needs and wants.  She is hungry for more out of life, stands tall and happily on the shoulders of those who went before her… Her head held high, her grace and poise oozing from her… She is as sexy as she is successful.

The Goddess who is Real and Raw has depth of character and is completely at home with who she is, who she wants to be more of and where she is at in life… She is grateful for the past; lives right here, right now and looks to the future with clarity, ambition and a sense of abundance… She is as rich in her heart as she is rich in spirit.

This woman is grounded, energetically - an enigma, spirited and spiritual, she is a woman of faith, even if it’s faith in herself, she knows this is enough to back her in life. The Goddess is intuitive and sees herself in others.  She is a work of art, a work in progress and will never profess to know it all. She is as perfect as she is imperfect and that is perfect…

This lady will stand tall and proud and move swiftly forward as she continues to nurture the needs of many, a natural born contributor, a giver and a teacher.

This Real and Raw woman comes in many shapes and sizes, many different ages, colours and tones from many different cultures. She is in all of us, and always has been… The Real and Raw Goddess in you will reveal herself, as soon as you give her permission to be unleashed, as soon as you allow your wild woman out to play…. Then you may glimpse the rhythmic dancing of your own Real and Raw Goddess in motion…

Is this you? If not, then when? I can’t wait for you to come and play with us.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Sex Sells

We all know how prolific sex is in the media, it’s everywhere you look there is either a half naked  skinny, big breasted woman with too perfect hair selling something…  cars, soft drinks, music, clothes, cosmetics, accessories - And that is just the start of it.  Even music clips need to be censored these days - anything from the teen sensation The Veronicas getting it on together in their clips to Beyonce wiggling her very gorgeous ass around is selling sex. I don’t need to remind you of how much of a uproar Cher caused when she decided to ‘Turn back time’ in her unforgettable ‘duct tape’ outfit whilst riding a cannon…. Argh! But we all still watched in amazement of some kind, right?

Advertisers know they are selling to both men and women when it comes to the sexy images they portray and they also know it works but are we as consumers really that gullible?  Or is there something far more important going on that we have yet to GET before this kind of advertising stops insulting our intelligence and sexualising our children?

The fact of the matter is that Sex Sells, it always has and most likely, always will!

What I find most interesting is what our perception of sexy really is.  For the majority of men it’s not big breasted, blond bombshells wearing short skirts (like most women also think).  Most people like to look at that kind of sexy (perhaps out of intrigue) but do not take it seriously. Why? Because we want more, men want more from women and women want more from themselves (and their men).  Succumbing to ‘cheap sexy’ (the kind that reveals too much skin) does not value the person for whom they really are inside, in fact, it sells them short by a long shot and insults their intelligence.

When surveyed by Top Secret Women’s Business, the majority of men said that confidence and curves are what they found most sexy about a woman… It was how they carried themself and really felt about themself on the inside that they found most appealing about a woman.  So why are we still accepting the media’s version of sexy when what we know to be REALLY AUTHENTICALLY SEXY comes from within? Time to ditch the discriminating sexist magazine advertising and glossies and make room for what really counts - How you really see and feel about yourself, because only then will advertiser ease up on perceiving sexy any other way.

This article is about how to really sell sex, the kind that keeps your ass covered and your breasts put away so you to get anything you want - with your integrity intact and your personal power restored.  You might even become a more media savvy person as a result - by not buying into the cheap thrill of boobs and bouncing hair. You will realise that sexy is not anything that is external but quite the opposite, sexy is a state of mind, a belief, a feeling, an undeniable strength, energy that you can cultivate at anytime, once you know how…

It means that anyone can be sexy at any size, shape, height, hair colour because sexy comes from within - at any time of the day. Sexy is a state of mind and quickly translates to innate confidence and self worth when you take the promise of sex out of it.

So how do you sell your own brand of sexy and become Mistress of your own Universe, get more of what you deserve and everything you expect?

It’s easy; you do it by cultivating your very own ‘Grrr…Factor’. Grrr factor is not too different from ‘X Factor’ but it’s more about what is on the inside. Grrr is spunk, confidence, self worth, an innate sense of knowing you are on top of your game, the solid sense of being totally in love with yourself and that little sparkle in your eye - the kind that lets people know you are deeply sexy - from the inside out.  It’s in your walk, your grace and poise, how you hold your head and the deep alluring look in your eyes…

A deep inner sense of sexy is revealed externally as confidence, if you know you are sexy, confidence comes easy and so will that job of your dreams, the career path you desire, the relationship you dream about and all the things in between that really matter. So let’s look at ways you can feel more sexy and powerful.

So here are 7 secrets to begin to cultivate your Grrr Factor;

• Get rid of your magazines - especially the ones that do not serve YOU, stop buying them (put the money in an interesting bearing fund like ING instead), not only will you increase your wealth but you will be less influenced by others perception of beauty and perfection and start to develop your own sense of style and character less the external influences
• Turn your TV off (or sell your TV), minimise your News viewing (because it’s all doom and gloom and can dampen anyone’s mood)
• Now you’ve minimised the media bombardment, you can start getting more in touch with YOU and just being you, get Real and Raw. Every woman knows there is more to them than meets the eye, be prepared to be more open and more revealing of the inner you - by simply deciding that is what you want. Hang out with like minded women who support you
• Ask yourself up to 50 times a day, “Am I being a real woman right now?” Display elegance, poise, grace, softness and posture when possible - when you shift your physiology, you can shift your mindset too - so no more slouching, hold your head up high honey and be proud, practice in your mirror at home
• Pimp up your wardrobe with some colour, frills, florals, dresses and accessories - anything feminine that spells class and style (ok you may want to omit the floral suggestion). Dare to dress yourself up so you feel great every day, remember you don’t have to let your breasts out to play to feel sexy - True sexiness comes from within
• Move more - exercise releases feel good endorphins into your body and are great for stress relief and making you feel on top of it… So start moving more, take the stairs, go for walks, Do some in home classes (Zumba is fantastic), bike ride, gym, yoga…Anything that gets you moving…
• Be creative and expressive - Your femininity needs a creative outlet. In order to really nestle into your sexy mindset, discover a way you can express yourself and your emotions… Write, paint, do pottery, dance, sing, meditate. Whatever you do, make it an expression of your femininity so you can cultivate even more Grrr.

So here is the juice of it ladies… You don’t have to be the prettiest, smallest, youngest or best dressed to get what you want… All you need to do is believe in yourself… That kind of sexy can sell you into the career of your dreams, the relationship you’ve always wanted, or the team you’ve always wanted to join, anything in fact. Why? Because your Grrr Factor is about you and your innate confidence, your control and internal power and no one can take that from you and that my friends is dead sexy.

So does sex sell? Yes it does and it doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon (even in spite of the relentless efforts of the many anti sexist and anti discrimination campaigns running), so best you get  the band wagon - In a Top Secret kind of way… By discovering how you can cultivate you own brand of sexy that has you shining and feeling confident from the inside out. It’s only then when we change our overall perception of what sexy really is that anything in the media will change because only then will we stop buying into their perceptions of cheap sexy.

Are women disadvantaged if they don’t look like a glossy magazine cover? No way, sexy comes from within - it’s something you have inside you, every woman is sexy… Just ask me how you can identify your own sexy style that is what I do.

Is there an easy way I can feel deeply sexy and more confident? Yes indeed, especially through Top Secret Women’s Business… We have a Goddess Academy Retreat coming up in July and you can be one of the few women who are selected to attend - You will transform your life, I promise… Ask me how and save over $500 on your weekend tuition.

Also, check out my signature Audio program Cultivating the GRRR… Factor (only $35) - it could be the ticket you need to get started or rejuvenate your own sexy brand.  And take a look at the dates for The Goddess Academy - every woman should attend this weekend away, you need it…

I am here to help and Top Secret Women’s Business fully supports every woman’s personal journey toward being the Goddess you were born to be.

Yours Real and Raw

Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 2

Part 2

The diary continues after the Pearls of Wisdom (from part one) have kicked in….. I was kindly reminded by many sources that life needs to change in some way (or was it me that needed to change?) In any case, I’d decided to ask the universe for assistance….

Have you ever asked for help and wondered who may respond?  Sometimes the response is in the way of a subtle sign, picture or shared, timely word by a good friend and sometimes it’s a grandiose push from the far reaches of the universe…. In any case, it’s much appreciated when the signs come in and on this day, I welcomed them.

It was getting close to Christmas and our school holidays had started.  Being a relatively new job, I knew taking holidays was out of the question, so called upon many favours from considerate friends and managed the first week with little difficulty although the feeling of guilt was heavy on my heart. I’ve never not spent this holiday time without my kids and nor have they… On top of all of that, Christmas was fast approaching, I needed to get organised, I’d yet to finalise gifts, decorations and where was I going to find the time? Parents were making enquiries about visits, kids were asking about going on holidays and all I could think about was making it through alive, intact and strong and stable.

With growing tensions at work and my growing discontent, more difficulty getting there on time and the merry-go-round of trying to transition from working mum to holiday mum each afternoon, I was exhausted…..  and then that dreaded, ever increasing feeling that I was not being true to my purpose, my passion and what I really wanted reared it’s ugly head nearly every moment of every day.

What has not being fully confident about your abilities cost you? Are you holding back, waiting for a miracle too?

This is what I’ve discovered… some more gentle reminders of what you may already know;

1. If you have big goals, be prepared to do the work to achieve them - it might not be easy, be realistic so as to not be disappointed when you put in extra time and have no time for anything else.  What do you want more?  Do you want more of the same old stuff or something different, bigger, bolder?
2. You really have to decide and be clear - you probably have all the resources you need to make it work, acknowledge those resources with some time in a written list and then go after them
3. Ask for help and teach others around you how to take responsibility - Delegate. It’s a good time to learn how to delegate to others. Remember you give others a gift when you ask them for help, people love to be thought of and we love to make a difference, so by asking you are doing exactly that.
4. When you teeter totter on the fence, everything else in your life will also teeter - ARGH!
5. Kids spell LOVE - T.I. M. E. - make your home time your home time. Your children, pets or lovers need you to be present, so make your home your hearth and spend quality time with the people you love.
6. Your boss also needs you to be present - he/she expects the best of you,  so give it and smile and consider how you can exceed expectations or find another job. It’s essential you love your job as not doing so can cause many stresses and upset - loving your job is a good lesson for your children to learn and is also much more fun.
7. Putting yourself first is critical when you spend so much time giving to others. Quite often your job as a mother goes without reward and by the end of the day you are spent, exhausted and deflated.  Be nurturing and selfish - you have to fill your own well first otherwise all else can easily fall apart.  Remember the power of a great Girls Night Out (if you live in Brisbane be sure to check out Top Secret Women’s CLUB), some time with friends or a luscious long bath at the end of the day is valuing the one who is doing all the work - you!
8. Be clear on your passions and dreams… Are you selling out, taking the safe path or in the middle of ‘risk’ and loving it?  If you are not following your dreams - they will persist, so do something about it.
9. If what you have done in the past has not worked, reinvent it and try again and again until it does work… if it’s your purpose and you love it, it will work - but remember you may have to work hard for it.
10. Time management is key.  Compartmentalise your life and be clear about how much time you want to spend in each area doing each necessary task.  When you are sooo busy it’s important to take stock of what is important and spend your time there.

So to conclude this part of our working mums diary I want to leave you with one important message…. Plan, organise, believe in you and trust the universe, it always delivers exactly what you need…..

And if you really need to get away, recalibrate your energy, meet some fantastic women, embrace a newer, more powerful version of yourself, then come along to THE SEALED SECTION RETREAT…. check it out under EVENTS

The Concluding part gives you more practical tips to care for yourself, achieve great success and manage your home and family with some steam left for you….

Diaries of a Single Working Mother - Part 1

This is a three part series that shares an insight into being a working single mother, the cycle of emotions and attitudes and how to gain Work Life Balance.  We discuss how to enjoy your children more, how to live the life you were born to, how to overcome a negative attitude toward your job and be a more productive YOU. Enjoy helpful work, life balance tips and start living again!

These dairy entries are for every woman, single or not because at the end of the day, the same challenges face us all… Too much to do, in too short a time with too much going out in to the world and not enough coming back in.

Last year I started working full time (just for a while) - As an employee, after 6 and a half years of self employment and full availability for my children, I feel I should share what I discovered.  I have written many articles about Work/Life Balance and working full time took me to new heights of learning how to juggle kids, Top Secret Women’s Business, house and social life - and most importantly my energy and personal attitiude.  Like never before, I had to take my own advise….!

You may be familiar with this scenario -  6am wake, 8.30am start at work and a 5.30pm finish, getting kids ready for school, dressing myself, lunch boxes, Load of laundry on, sweep the floor, get kids to school early (or at least on time), rush to work - too much traffic this morning… Going from being available to no spare time at all,  a house who’s tidiness is failing me and a car that needs a service and a clean,  mail to open and dinner to cook and let’s not even mention laundry, lunch boxes and dust… So on and so forth!

How does a woman ‘really’ have a balanced, successful, happy life and still find time to exercise and prepare healthy fresh meals, entertain the idea of a relationship and water the plants? In this part one I briefly touch into the emotions and mindset of a working mum and give some ‘Pearls’ to get yourself off the merry-go-round of exhaustion, discontent and dissonance.

So the Diary begins -

Today is about what I feel and what I need to be reminded of….

Today I feel the biggest challenge which really pulls at my heart strings is my decreased availability for my children. They once had me at their beck and call and now there is barely enough time to read a bedtime story - or so it seems…. I missed my daughter’s last game of softball, her music concert invite got lost in a pile of paperwork and my son is only 9 and needs his mummy hugs still, he is fighting with his sister more and more, I suspect it’s to get my attention….  My expectations of my children have increased exponentially to ‘help out’ and make this easier for me and I’ve suddenly forgotten they are still kids who need my time….. I feel guilty!

Work is demanding and I feel unappreciated. I wonder if they know how much I really don’t want to be here andhow much I am sacrificing? I’m not really doing what I want but for now it’s a means to an end… When is it going to end?

I’m so tired, who’s going to save me? I want relief, my mind is consuming me and I don’t like where it’s going… I feel like I am selling out on something I want far greater… !

Have you ever felt like that? Want to SNAP out of it?

Pearls of Wisdom that assist in creating change - spend time contemplating the ones taht really resonate for you… it’s time to change!

• Whatever happens is meant to be - with reason - Go and find the reason!
• What never changes, never changes
• You are in control, are you?
• If the pattern repeats, there is still something more to learn, so keep your eyes openand learn quickly
• The universe never gives you situations you can’t handle
• Search for the positive meaning in things that ‘happen’- there is always a fresh perspective to ‘get’
• Have faith in yourself and what is…
• Never give up on your dreams and purpose in life
• The Universe likes to test your resolve and conviction when you’ve decided to do something, so be prepared to fight for what you want
• Stay focussed and keep the prize at the end so big and beautiful you never stop wanting it
• You get what you get, if you don’t value what you have, so start valuing what you have now!
• If you don’t know what you really want, how are you ever going to get it?
• The clearer you are, the more the universe knows how to deliver it to you
• Your security is only what you decide it is - Real security comes from what you provide for YOURSELF
• When you put your future in another’s hands, who knows where you’ll end up?
• Take full control so you can be in the drivers seat
• The only time that really ever exists is NOW, take the time to spend time with the most important people in the world - when ever you can
• Time is precious, do what you really want with it instead of what others want for you
• What you think you create into REALITY, so be sure to calibrate your mindset into a healthy, positive and productive one
• Organisation and time management is key, imperative, essential, critical

A simple little reminder that “you are the only one who is responsible for everything you experience,”  is enough to shake you back into a very clear reality - nothing quite like taking control of your life, hey?

So off to work I go - Hy Ho, Hy Ho, Hy Ho…

The big question is… How do you stay feeling great, energised, happy, validated, committed, patient, peaceful, calm and organised when so much of your life relies on you being on task?

In Part 2, I share TEN TIPS to change, grow and get organised - So you can enjoy a balanced,  productive and happy life in 2010.

Once Upon a Time - Are your Stories slowly killing you?

How many stories have you heard of human beings overcoming horrific life threatening challenges that have them enriched and fulfilled at the end of the day? And how many stories have your told (including your own) that spread the word of despair, heart ache and misery?  We’ve all heard of stories where the victim turned the experience into something great and is now a crusader for that cause… Would they have been able to do so much good without the story to start with?  They say when the going gets tough, the tough get going but what does it really take to leave the past behind and live a new life of fulfilment?

With so many life stories of challenge, terror and sadness, how do you just pick up and move on?  I mean how can you do it?  We know we can’t change the past but living with it and immersed ‘in’ it doesn’t change it either….

The one thing I know as a Performance and Results Coach is that every person has a story to tell, it doesn’t matter how hard, horrible or tragic your story is compared to another, we all feel the same way about our stories in the end.

So doesn’t the experience of life, with its colourful stories become more normal than not? Because everyone has a story to tell, right? Do you know anyone who has no experiences to share, no story to tell?

Imagine for a moment, not having any stories to tell? How boring and meaningless would your life be?  I know there are stories you wish you never had to experience, some you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy, stories of abuse, loss, deceit, betrayal… but the fact is, they happened, they existed once upon a time and how you feel about those stories now, is the only thing you can change. So you can choose to continue to live with them (those woeful sad stories) or you can do what is necessary to change them, utilise them, forgive them, set yourself free and move forward being a better, stronger human being for it. Then you can live a full and enriched life with the lessons learnt. Anything less than that is a waste of a good story…

Easy for me to say you think?  Well maybe not, I too have stories that I have told but the difference is how I choose to now use them. You can use them to empower you and others or disempowered you and others.

Stories can take you down to the pits of despair or raise you up to where you can see the world is your oyster. Which do you choose?

You can clearly see what I have chosen by my actions and what I do for a living and it feels great standing on the shoulders of my perpetrators because the view is much grander and richer from here….

So my darling bud, what do you need to do to move out of the slump, away from your story?

The very first thing you need to do is accept your experiences and trust they have a grander purpose. It’s true that which does not kill us makes us stronger, so gets to being strong ASAP and accepts what it is you have experienced… No amount of wishing life was different will change the facts… The only things you can change are your perspective, and understand the grander purpose… Because there always grander purpose and lesson, especially for those who go looking for it.

How do you accept heinous crimes and hurtful moments?

Own it as part of who you are and most importantly, realise that everything happens for a reason and the reason is yours to learn. The key here is LEARN! Everything in life is a beautiful expression of what you can learn to enrich your life and most often, others around you. You can only change how you feel about your story and that is the only way you can set it free, then you can also accept it as part of your history.

A life of guilt, regret, anger and hurt only serve to take YOU down and as many people you can enrol into your story… because we all love to share bad news, right? Diseased negative emotions only hurt you in the long run. When you share and spread negative stories aren’t you attempting to get attention? Convincing someone else that your story is worse than theirs? Somehow justifying it or laying blame? Perhaps you are crying out for help?  If any of that sounds familiar, then it is time to do something about it.

The time to change and let go of the past, is now!

So here are the steps to letting go of your stories, the ones that do not serve to make your life better, grander and more fulfilled:

• Commit to doing something different than you’ve done before to let it go, realise there is a problem and be prepared for the next step…
• Accept that is in the past and there is nothing but your perspective that can change it, be real, it can’t hurt you anymore (but it will if you keep the story alive). What’s done is done, now let’s work together to change your feelings about the past
• Make a list of your feelings in regards to the events and write about each one - get it all out
• Allow the emotions to seep to the top, if you get emotional; allow yourself the chance to finally release it all… Up and out I say!
• Decide upon what you want to feel instead… you might want security, peace, independence, courage, power, strength, perseverance etc…
• Be brave for a few minutes and go down into the event this last time with the intentions of finding out what you are supposed to learn - there is always a reason that thing happened and until you understand the lesson, you will hang on to the emotion and let it control you. Learnings might sound like this: I know what it means to be courageous, I now know how to trust my intuition, I could never have been such a loving mother if that didn’t happen,I value myself first and foremost, they did the best they could and I know I am a survivor who is strong now…..
• Adopt the learnings as a belief you have with conviction. Repeat it and own it…
• Then plan what you want for your life instead now. How are you going to implement the learnings into your life? What are you going to do differently from now on, so much so, you can change the old behaviour? You might say I am never going to tell that story for the same reasons again, or you might do something that exercises your new found realisation of courage - something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t, you might call your parents and make amends…. You decide and remember to make it about you, about your future and positive.
• Be prepared to forgive and then forget… That is true freedom

The ULTIMATE goal is to get to stage of GRATITUDE… Grateful your life is the way it is, filled with the experiences you have had, because you wouldn’t be who you are today otherwise..

The only thing in life that is real is today, so make it count. Stories are great and they serve a grand purpose, my caution is to use them wisely, only use the ones that empower you and leave the ones that bring you back down, behind… who needs them, right?

Now, if this sounds all too easy and you really don’t know how to move forward by yourself, then ask for help.  Do yourself a favour and decide to release your baggage today.  As an internationally experienced Performance and Lifestyle Coach, I can guarantee a fresh perspective on life and show you how you can easily move forward in your life - toward your dreams and aspirations. You deserve happiness, success and balance in life, filled with loving friends and family, right? So why wait a minute longer…

The longer we wait to let go of our ’stuff’ the more it costs you financially, emotionally, physically… and it spreads to all areas of your life.  There is no time like the present when it comes to your happiness and success… Call me today to discuss how I may help. This is what I do.

With much love and peace

Janelle Manton

Looking in the Mirror of Success?

How many times have you been in a situation that calls for you to look in the mirror, only to find the mirror is broken? You refuse to look at yourself for the answers but blame the world around you for what could have been stopped the moment you looked within. The blame game is no game at all…

What do I actually mean?  Well let’s suppose you are blamed for something that you feel you didn’t do and no matter how hard you try to defend your position you still get blamed. What then? How are these situations affecting your rate of Success? Your happiness? Your self esteem?

There are many times in life when things ‘happens’ to us and it’s a great time to really look in that proverbial mirror to see how what is happening, is a reflection of you or at least a part of you.  You see, nothing really happens to us, we create it, all of it.  So when the chips are down, look in the mirror and see what part of you is really at play. Every situation calls for you to reflect on the inside and own your part in the game that is going on around you. 

If you can imagine for a moment that you are the centre of the universe (and in some strange way you actually are), then doesn’t every situation call for your input? There is blame all around us, every day and so, the big question is: Are you the one pointing the finger or the person at the receiving end?  In any case both parties still need to look at themselves for the answers because there is always something to learn from every experience.

Whether this be the case in business or in your personal life, the only way to take full control of your life is by taking full responsibility for what ‘happens’ in it.  This was the case for me at a recent gathering with my family.  I was blamed for something I feel I had no part in but the truth be known, when I look closely at the other parties accusation, there was something in that for me ‘to get’ and I got it alright!  Now even though the accusation was incorrect, I could still look into the situation and gain some learning or knowledge that gave me insight into me.

It is said that perception is projection. So how you perceive something is how you are also projecting it to be.  That also means if you are projecting something out into the world, say like an opinion it is also only how you perceive it and not necessarily how anyone else may view it.  Is it yet another chance to look within?  There, inside of yourself, is where you find all the answers to life…..

So the good news is there is always something to learn, lessons come in a variety of shapes and colours and one of your greatest strengths is your ability to diffuse a situation by owning your part in it.

When it comes to being successful in what ever you choose to do, take a good look at how your beliefs and values are playing their part in holding you back. It could be time for an overhaul to get you doing more of what you really want in life…

So how do you do that? Even when you feel you did nothing wrong?

That’s the easy part.  Ask yourself the question, How is what is going on a reflection of how I really feel?  Identify with the part that you find most upsetting and see how that reflects your current situation or circumstance. If you feel uncomfortable or are in denial at all, here is where it will show up.  Become aware of how you feel and then act upon it.  Sometimes a quick phone call to the people involved can resolve and dissolve an issue before it gets out of hand.  There is quite often a misunderstanding or someone’s real feelings at the end of the blame game, so be open to ‘getting it’, understanding it and moving through it before all hell breaks loose.

A values checkin is always helpful and that is where a coach can guide you through to assist you in aligning more with what is impotant to you in life.

So what happens if you fail to see how the situation is a reflection of you or your true feelings or the Mirror is Broken?  Nothing happens but you may well continue to have these ’situations’ show up till you do understand what it is you need to learn.  Success comes to those who are most willing to be themselves, authenticity and by speaking your truth.  Life is like that and mother-nature is relentless when we need to learn something… It will keep showing up in all areas of your life and get bigger and bigger till you take the lessons and implement them by making changes to your life.

What are some of the keys to really understand this concept?

• Know yourself and be courageous enough to ask the hard question of yourself - How is this a reflection of me and how I feel?… You are a work in progress so be open to learning and looking within.
• Set clear boundaries. People will only treat you as you allow them, so with some effective communication and some ‘I feel’ statements you can have the kind of relationships you deserve with everyone in your life.
• Take the higher ground and stay out of someone else’s argument. If the other person has a vendetta against you, do not buy into their story, it could be about them and what they are projecting outward. Certainly reflect on how you are involved but do not put fuel on the fire by ‘getting into’ with them.
• Be compassionate with your understanding of the other person involved and try to see the world with their eyes, if only for a second. You may be surprised at what you see.
• Be open to learning something new at all times and even more willing to do something different to get a new and more positive outcome. There is always one waiting for you.

Success comes when you are clear about your intentions, what you want, how you show up and what you are willing to do to get it. Be your own best coach and when you have utilised all of your own resources, consider it time to get a coach to assist you. Gaining real clarity and opening the window within is easier for those who ask how.

I have been coaching for over 6 years and assist women to get what they want out of life. Be it more from their relationships, their careers or to have a fabulously loving relationship with yourself, I am here to help, so call and find out how coaching can help you. 1300 88 69 82

Faith and Success - Because you gotta have Faith, Faith, Faith

So you’re business is struggling and you’re wondering when your hard work is going to pay off?  Have you ever experienced a time in your life where no matter which direction you turn, there is a road block? And what about the times when one ’seemingly’ disastrous pit fall after another hits you head on… Sound familiar? 

I think we’ve all been through dark times here and there - whether the darkness consumed your career or personal life, it is one in the same and it’s an essential part of life’s balance, but how well do cope and how fast do you move forward? 

At the end of the storm, what was it that got you through?  Perhaps a strong belief in yourself and your abilities or maybe a friend bailed you out or gave you a shoulder to cry on.  You might even have gotten more education to support yourself but it all takes time and sometimes, we just don’t have time… So what’s a gal (or guy) to do?

Start praying? It’s been said many a time that when the going gets tough the tough start praying… It wouldn’t be the first time that someone who isn’t even religious, starts praying for help…

In a recent experience where I needed to ground myself, energise and move out of a challenging situation, I found myself praying - literally. It doesn’t really matter if it was to God or another because the most important thing is that I drew on a power greater than me - regardless of what his or her name is… It was FAITH that drew me nearer to forward movement. 

You are probably wondering how praying becomes a Success Strategy? 

Well let me ask you this… What is the one thing, EVERY religion in the world has in common?  It’s FAITH! Pure unseen faith.  Belief in something bigger than self, faith is a belief that has no logical proof, it’s a feeling of conviction about another… So why is it when the chips are down, most people resort to their faith?  On their death bed, in accidents, losing investments… faith, faith, faith. 

Doing business ‘like a woman’ requires you to ‘go within’ and draw on strengths you know exist but rarely utilize… Faith is one of those inner strengths that get you through and assist you in honouring who you are from the inside out.

Everything in the universe has a polar opposite - black white/in out/ day night/ love fear/ down times up times, which means with every cloud there is the sun. For every challenge there is an opportunity, with every hurdle comes a lesson of learning, for everything you lose, there is something to gain - especially when you have faith in the universe working that way.  When things don’t go right after months of effort and planning, what are your choices? Quit? Or do you get right back on the proverbial horse - Because you have faith you are on the right path?

If you quit and give up on your dreams, how do you know if you were only inches away from making it big? 

So when it comes to Success Strategies how does faith fit into the equation? Consider this:

• Faith means having a strong belief in yourself - first and foremost
• Faith is having an inner strength and conviction about who you are
• Faith is a belief in something that does not rest on logical proof, it’s a sense of knowing
• Faith helps you to stay focused and uses the laws of attraction
• Faith allows you to live your life’s purpose, in blind faith not knowing what the future will really bring
• Faith fills your well and gives you the sense of being complete
• Faith ignites passion and keeps you shining
• Faith is grounding and keeps you in the present moment
• Faith gives you something to believe in - especially yourself
• Faith has no boundaries and is limitless

As a Success Strategy, the application of Faith is simple and essential for you as a woman and may be practised as follows:

• Visualise your outcome and goal achievements and totally align yourself energetically and believe it to be true
• Be clear of your outcome in full sensory detail
• Be open to ‘how’ you get things and think outside the box. The answers you seek could come in ways you may not have yet considered
• Be open minded and develop your ability to trust - Even in things you can’t see
• If you are in a dark place and can’t find your way out, ask for help, get the right advise, centre and ground your energy by meditating and shifting your focus, remember to be clear of your outcome - this too will pass
• Understand that there will always be challenges, hurdles and obstacles, they are a natural part of life and every time you overcome one, it means you are moving forward
• There are always opportunities hidden in challenges, hurdles and obstacles, especially for those who are looking for them, you just have to have a little faith
• Have a sense of knowing you are getting what you want in every given moment
• Nothing lasts forever, even challenges move aside for those who take ACTION, so take action now
• Remember you are a woman first and foremost and understanding the multiple-dimensions that make up who you are is important to your success, FAITH is part of that ’self’ belief system

For some women, being a good mother makes you feel successful, others measure success with financial gain or career climbing, success is personal and yours to identify.  There are many strategies to gain success and they are only quantifiable by the user. Only you know what success means to you but whatever you do, have a little faith, it could be the very thing you need to continue to move forward. Choose to see the light because the light is always there….

Faith can mean many things to many people… What does FAITH mean to you?  What if you had a little more faith in yourself, your abilities, your future success, your ability to attract abundance and joy, what would you be doing that is different from now….?

On the 26^th of July 2009, I had the word ‘FAITH’ tattooed on my back, always backing me up and edging me forward.  Thanks to my father for teaching me what Faith truly means to me…

With love

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Lose the Bitch, Lets Get Rich!

This week’s Top Secret Women’s Blog is called Lose the Bitch, Let’s Get Rich and is about what I call the ‘comparison and competitive phenomenon’. Why do women compete and compare so heavily with each other when it appears against our nature? Are we not reinforcing the stereotype that we are bitchy? In this article, I will look at solutions to comparing ourselves to one another that will have every woman winning… And getting RICHER and WISER for your collective effort! Read more

Goal Setting for Girls

Hello My gorgeous Goddess friends.
This weeks Blog is about ‘Goal Setting for Girls’.

I will discuss why Goal Setting when done ‘the girls way’ can make the process of ‘achieving your dreams’ a whole lot easier’ fun and ultimately, more results with energy to spare.

You may not know this girls but setting goals, goal achievement, career leadership, competition and success are all masculine traits. So, in the process of setting goals in the traditional manner, women are becoming  more like men in how we deal with life and careers.

If you’ve listen to my audio program ‘Cultivating The GRRR… Factor’ (where I go into more detail about the differences between masculine and feminine energy), you will have learnt that this is not a sustainable way for women to thrive. And thriving is something we all want, no matter what the desired outcome.

The result of women ‘going at life’ using her masuculine energy on a consistent basis can be harsh… burn out, tiredness, creative blocks, depression, anger, insecurities, aggression, stifled intuition, relationship difficulties and much more… Maybe you can relate to this on some level?

So how do you set goals and ‘go after them with massive action’ whilst maintaining your energy, your creativity, softness and most importantly, your gorgeous feminine self? And how can you make the process more fun, I mean this is your life afterall and life is meant to be easy and fun.

Try these Top Secret women’s Business ’Goal setting Tips for Girls’:

1. Invite a group of girlfriends together for a vision board play date. Have everyone bring along some magazines, scissors, cardboard sheets and glue sticks and start cutting out all the pictures, words and symbols that represent your goals, glue them onto a sheet of card and enjoy the creative process of setting new goals. I recommend also adding dates to different pictures for clarity. And lastly, to add a splash of fun, share some delicious nibbles and champagne, some great girlie music and enjoy some laughs. Then simply hang your vision board in a prominate place for your enjoyment and gentle reminder.

2. Goal achievment can be made a lot easier with a steady flow of femininity. Being your delightful, emotional, playful and powerful self is the key to doing a job exceptionally well and with your integrity and energy levels in tact. So, remember to take time to balance your work/home/personal life and transition into your feminine self at the end of a work day.

How can you easily transition into and increase feminine energy?

Ordering your copy of ‘Cultivating The GRRR… Factor’ as soon as possible. Not only will the 30 minute meditation (included in the 60 minute program)leave you feeling revived and rejuvinated, it is specially designed to increase your sense of femininity and your feminine energy. The Program is a great way for you to excel toward your goals like a gorgeous goddess.

3. Remember you are not a man (obviously) and will do things differently to men. Make a point to style, preen, glamorise and adorn yourself with treasures each day. In some small way, everyday, take time to relish your girlie gift of being able to dress up, make up and glam up. When you are taking care of all of you - inside and out, you automatically feel great, more feminine and are unconsciously celebrating your womanly self, loving yourself and telling those around you that you mean business - your way!
I dare you to wear fishnet stockings to work one day, just to make youself feel sexy, sassy and stylish.

So my darling Goddess friends, it’s time to set some new ‘Goals the Girls Way’, reach for the stars, re-energise and do it with style, glamor and a fresh dose of femininity!

Go out into the world and roar like a lion! And may you enjoy your goal setting adventures…

We would love to hear how you have benefited from these tips, so please share with our readers your comments.

Yours, Real and Raw,
Janelle Manton