I am an Ordinary Woman!

I’m an ordinary woman… I have curves like most women and there are parts of my body I’d like to change if I could but I’m happy with what I’ve been given. I have a warm smile and I know I have warmth in my heart because I can feel it. I see the world through bright blue eyes but how I see the world is my very own Uniqueness - as it is for every woman.

I often make mistakes, sometimes over and over again until I eventually understand the universe is trying to tell me something and I eventually get the message - the valuable learnings, so I can move forward.  I have a tendency to attract the ‘mack truck’ kind of experiences - you know, the ones that hit you smack bang right in the face, hard and it hurts like hell.  I’ve started to learn much more quickly and read the signs now before I get run over. I hear the voice within, feel in my senses and my intuition but I don’t always listen…

I strive to be the best parent I can be and struggle not to blame my parents for fucking it up for me. I remind myself they taught me what NOT to do as a parent, so I’m ok, I know they did the best they can and for their efforts, I am grateful. My kids love me unconditionally and while it’s not always easy, we manage and we have a lot of fun. Like most mums, I’d do anything for my children and can’t imagine my life without them, they are the teachers, they are the wise ones in my world.

Every day, a little bit more of my heart is forgiven for leaving my marriage instead of sticking it out and working it out. Every day I send him love and hope my childrens father doesn’t hate me for changing our family.  And every day I am grateful I have had the opportunity to explore who I really am as a woman since then.

Throughout this journey I have taken on my own, I’ve learned many things and experienced even more… Who I am, what I want, what I am capable of and what I am not. I’ve discovered who my real friends are and who is most important to me and what it means to be a girlfriend - loyal, strong, nurturing, compassionate, happy! I’ve decided I’m still learning how to be a great girl-friend.

I seek no validation, nor fame. I want freedom to be me, as a warm hearted mother and spirited lover. I desire the peace of mind that comes from speaking my mind and being present with my emotions. I want freedom to be emotional without excuses or hiding behind a veil of bravery - for I know my strength comes from my ability to release, realise and accept how I feel.

What I want for myself is a sense of knowing that I am equanamous with mother nature and that I am the same life force that thrives in her.  The feeling that I am indeed, powerful beyond measure but I don’t always feel that kind of power… In fact, sometimes I feel completely powerless and full of pain.  When I watch TV or see the atrocities that are committed in the world against women and children, I realise I am not alone, we women have a long way to go till we are free… Free from what? Ourselves and the walls we have built over centuries of hiding and denigration?

We no longer have the fear of burning at the stake - at least not in this country but we still live with fear - fear of being a deeply loving sexual goddess, fear self of expression and speaking our truth, even if our love is at risk. I’m an ordinary woman, I want what every woman wants - to feel like a woman one who can and does harness the power of the greatest mother of all - mother earth.

Every now and then I get a glimpse of  mother earth connection and it brings me back down to earth, literally pulling me down to the core of who I am, the core of the earth.  I am most grounded and at peace when I am connect with the core. My connection with the earth mother makes we want to run wild and naked through the woods howling with joy and a sense of freedom - but if I did that, run like the wolves, would I still be an ordinary woman?

I don’t want to hide behind the cloak of that which I have created but to not hide, leaves me open to explore uncharted territory… Do I dare go where the wise women before me have gone? Do I reach up, reach out, speak up and dare to shout out from the roof tops what I actually want… Do I even know what that really is?

I wonder if other ordinary women feel the same as me? Do they too want to scream from the roof tops and be set free? Do they KNOW without a doubt, of the feeling of wonderment, wildness, willingness and wisdom that resides within their heart and have they too lost their key to unlock the mysteries of womanhood?

Do other women want more from life, to unleash the suppression that lies heavy in their hearts? Do they know the great love of source and  spirit resides within them?

I am an ordinary woman, but I FEEL so much, so deeply, with complexity that leaves me bewildered, enriched and sometimes confused and scared. I FEEL so much love and yet, shy away from the love of others. I play a dance of openness and close up when it’s not comfortable for me to be so vulnerable.

I know how to surrender and open myself to vulnerability, I understand my strength when I am vulnerable and open like a flower… But if I question myself, do I really know how to fully surrender? Would I have not run like the wolves by now? Would I have not spoken up and stood out and shouted from the roof tops, my hearts desires?  Would I have not challenged this very world we women live in?

Would I have not screamed my fucking lungs out, with the greatest intensity during a session with my lover? If I was supposed to be fully surrendered, why would I have ever held back?

I am an ordinary woman, I live with passion and wishes fulfilled, I have desires and hopes and some of my dreams are so far, left unfulfilled… Marianne Williamson said it best in her book ‘A return to love’, we are powerful beyond measure, when we shine our light, we give others permission to also shine….

So anything less than me being EXTRAORDINARY, isn’t me being myself, isn’t me leaving my mark on this world. It is certainly not me being everything I know I am…. I am extraordinary, I just know it, I always have been.

You are just like me, you feel it, don’t you? Won’t you join me and be extraordinary too… The great mother earth, our world and the women in it, need us to be more - more of everything we know we are already…. It’s time to surrender and unleash!

Everything we discuss here is covered in The Goddess Retreat - you are not alone, you never will be. Nothing you experience as a woman ever has to be misunderstood, never has to be left unforgiven… Begin your journey today and join us.  CLICK HERE for dates and details.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

The Silence is Deafening!

It’s in the silence… I found myself amidst the consistent, nagging tunes of George Michaels ‘Amazing’ even when the blackness came and there was nothing else, the words were there still in the deep recesses of my mind… do do do do, I think your amazing… and after 3 whole days of this constant banter, on the fourth day, I found the depths of my spirit, peacefully waiting my return home…

I spent my Christmas break and new year celebration in the silence of my mind, alone, along with about 70 other dedicated meditators… Vipassana was a holiday from my life and I welcomed the time of silence, ten whole days of it!

Leading up to Vipassana, there was chaos of gigantic proportions, financial concerns that created massive worry, uncertainty, anger and fear. My family life was in upheaval with arguments taht seemed to grow in size each time, my relationship turned from beautiful to dependence which was out of my control (so it seemed)…. I’m sure my friends were sick of me winging and seeing me so low, so I retreated and withdrew… My business which I love so much was slowing down for the year and was desperately hating life, getting up off the couch was difficult enough… But to add to it all, I had let my health slide, taking up bad habits to excess, putting on weight and not valuing my body enough to not poison it!

I’d been thinking about attending Vipassana for a while. The first time I thought about it was when I had a broken leg, a great time of reflection, but I was advised that the physical aspect of meditating and long hours of sitting would be a challenge, and so, like a lot of things, I put it on the back burner… for 5 years!

I thought not talking would be the difficult part seems as though I never shut up, I always contribute and have no problem giving my opinion… But by the time I got there, I couldn’t wait for the noise to shut the fuck up! I’d had enough. My mind was constantly reminding me of what I did not have,  jabs at how lazy and fat I am, always letting me know my business was not successful enough, that I was not enough… I had literally become sick of hearing it and was on my way to breaking point.  My world seemed to be crashing down upon me like an abyss of nothingness.

I don’t know if I the only one who has ever felt like that, but I can say, I don’t ever want to go back there again… The abuse was indeed deafening me and slowly killing my spirit, me! I arrived at Vipassana retreat centre in Pomona a desperate woman, ready to do whatever it took to snap out of my misery and into a new, fresh, clean start…

The first 3 days were extraordinary, so much noise in my head, so much abuse and negativity, I thought it would never end. I went to the teacher in an almost crazed state because I just couldn’t get George Michael out of my head, I couldn’t stop worrying about what was and what was not in my life!  In fact, my headaches were extreme migraines of release. Poisons being released, negative thoughts and emotions… letting go, surrendering to the peace that is below and beyond…..

Our teacher patiently taught me how to shift my focus and to have faith, very little instruction, fewer words… Once again, trusting and having faith was my lesson. On day 4 I got it…. Like the best drug I’ve ever had, there was nothing like it! Quiet! Peace! Finally…

During my afternoon meditation, the dark stillness finally came, utopia of the mind was felt, the subtle vibration of my entire being experienced in bliss, equanomous with nature, no boundaries, infinite and expanding like the universe itself, I am the universe!. Total resolution.

In that moment I understood who I really am. I am no different to you, we are all the same, I am more than enough, I am extraordinary and a miracle. A vibration of pure energy, a single atom of consciousness expanded into a being of light and love…

But it was only an experience. Like most things in life, it was only that, one moment of pure experience, nothing to be craved or sought after, nothing to get addicted to, just enjoyed in the present moment. Nothing more, nothing less…. To crave it would only cause more misery.

Day 6 was my hardest day as I settled into a rythym and understanding of why I was there.  I had left the chaos of home and life to find peace and self love and most importantly, a way of coping with the mess that I thought was life outside… In the middle of my morning mediation, amongst my 70 odd fellow meditators I started to cry…

I don’t know if it was fear of returning home that started the giant flood or how happy I was to be there, whatever it was, was far less important than just observing without question and letting my tears flow… And flow they did… All the way down to my belly button, ironically to the place I once drew my life force energy from… The final surrender to pure bliss emptied my heart as it left, making room for the miracle of unconditional love and understanding….

And so went the following days… the days turned into night and the night into day. Meditation, meditation, meditation. Quiet surrender with an understanding of nature, observation of all that is, from a spider spinning its web, pain and joy, to the slight and subtle vibration of my spirits energy… deliverance from misery, the slow journey of elimination of negativity at the very core of its conception… The rebirth of true understanding embraced, the silence, a gift to myself I will always cherish and nurture…

Ten days of silent reflection and observation, zero communication with anyone but myself, over 100 hours of sitting meditation, 4.15am starts… Just myself, complete solitude and in those cherished days, I discovered the secrets to eternal peace and abundance, discipline and vigilance… Of which I am bound to be successful!

I discovered the calm that is really who I am and regained control of my life. I developed and embraced a new way of being and truly understand the importance and what it takes to have balance in my life, to put myself first… But most importantly, I uncovered the blessing of slowing down, doing things in my own time with discipline, simplifying my life and eliminating expectations that disappoint…

Living in the present with mindfulness and calm is who I am. Observing instead of irrational reaction is who I am. Loving unconditionally with understanding and compassion in my heart is who I am… Being a Goddess and embracing what I do is who I am…

There is not greater gift to give yourself, than the gift of silence… Anything less than that is deafening!

If you would like to find out more, please email me. If you are interseted in one on one coaching with me, again, please email me - I am here to be of service! xxx

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

admin@topsecretwomensbusiness.com

Top Secret Women’s Business All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

Are you a Fashion Fake?

I recently wrote an article about the Power of Glamour check it out: http://www.theauthenticrelationship.com/sensuality/powerfully-glamorous/ ) and the keys to being so gorgeous on the inside and out you become a power house of confidence and self esteem.  I mean if you are glammed up, you feel hot and feel so much better about yourself, we all do, right?

Most women have experienced the stifling negativity a bad hair day can create and most women can imagine a night of wearing hot red boots with a fur coat and how absolutely incredible you’d feel, Yes?

The power of fashion and how it makes women feel is fascinating, alluring and is something to consider when it comes to how you are perceived by others and how you honestly feel about yourself….. Let’s explore the world of fashion and whether you are hiding behind it’s facade.

The difference between the spunky warm feeling of inner confidence and self esteem and being a fashion diva who’s life revolves around fashion at the expense of being unauthentic is extreme and even dangerous to your emotional health.  If you are wearing labels so obsessively that they define you, then listen up because this article is for you.

I knew a woman once who was so defined by her Tiffany jewels, her country road everything and her other designs that even after 4 years of friendship, I never really knew ‘her’.  I’m pretty sure we all know someone like this…  Everything she did revolved around being seen as something of a mogul and super success because she wore all the right things - on the outside, her life looked perfect as she was ’seen’ in all the right places.  She judged others success by their lack of labels, glitter and gold and spoke often of what others did not have, I was one of these women who lacked the cool clothes…

And every now and then after a few drinks, her defences wore down, her inhibitions revealed a scared and lonely woman who craved love and acceptance, she feared rejection and dared not let anyone too close.  Our nights always ended in tears of fears.

What I saw was a woman who hid behind her fashion perfection and used it as a false facade of confidence, bravery and success.  Now don’t get me wrong, she was very successful but what she didn’t reveal were hidden insecurities and low self esteem wrapped up in a Country Road sweater, pants and boots, we rarely glimpsed the real beauty of this gorgeous woman. Instead she missed out on some amazingly close and loyal friendships because she wouldn’t let anyone in for fear they’d see her vulnerabilities… Any real friend who embrace her anyway, right?

The sad thing is that so many women hide behind their material possessions instead of being Real and Raw so much so, their possessions define them. How many women do you know who fail to reveal their true vulnerable nature, the woman they really are in leiu of fashion fixes?

Can you proudly wear the label of your choice and know without a doubt you are being real and raw? I mean ‘this is me, this is who I am’ kind of authenticity?

Real authenticity comes with embracing your sacred feminine self, it’s when you realise and love all of who you are, bad hair day and all and never edit who you are for anyone.  Real and raw is a continuous expression of self love in all you do, saying it as you feel it, speaking your truth, living life as you alone desire, making your own rules and letting the light of the goddess you are shine through those beautifully deep eyes. You are vulnerable and wear your heart for all to see because you realise there is nothing more beautiful than you being you…  There is little more precious in the world than a woman who is sovereign to her own divinity.

Mia Freedman is such a woman… Check out her site: http://www.mamamia.com.au/

When it comes to clothes and wearing yummy things that make us feel good, wear them with pride but remember who you really are. You are not a label… You are a magical being of light and love who has so much more to offer the world than something pretty to look at. Dare to reveal the real you under the facade of delicious clothing and be your glamorous self,  however you express your true nature.

3 Tips for Being Authentic & Fashionable

1)  Dare to show up as yourself, when you don’t really feel like making an effort, don’t. Show those around you who you really are without makeup and coordinated clothing. I don’t mean being a dag to the point of embarassing but I do mean it’s not always a fashion contest and you showing up as you are, gives those permission to do the same.

2)  Check in with yourself… Do you have to have your ‘look’ perfect before you leave the house? If so, check in with yourself as to why this is the case. If any of the reasons fall into the category of ‘being worried about what others think’, you could be a slave to fashion and hiding something very precious… The Real You!

3)  If you always look good and know you don’t have a problem with being authentic, revealing yourself, your true nature and you stand tall, then own that sister, you can lead the way for other women to follow… You are divine. Be sure to love and honour yourself often.

Please know that I am always here to help. If there is even a little part of you that you know is hiding behind materialism and fighting fears to be yourself, then please make an appointment to speak to me. The world deserves to see you for who you really are.

It takes a lot more time and effort being a fashion fake as opposed to being yourself and showing up as you feel… Just remember that when you are deliberating what to wear.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

How to Cultivate Goddess Grace

Grace is being fully aware of your body, its movements, its capabilities and actions at all times. It’s how you hold yourself, speak, react, honor and value who you are.  Being graceful is an ‘awareness feeling’ being executed all the time… It’s flowing and gentle, soft and fluid, feminine…

Here are many ways you can cultivate your own Gracefulness;

• Become more fully aware and accepting of your body and it’s movements at all times, stand tall, hold your head high and walk with purpose
• Remember grace is nonverbal and verbal and the words you speak can have graceful qualities, choose your words carefully with meaning and truth, grace comes from your heart
• Look often with love at your body and appreciate the beauty of your feminine vessel. Everything about your body is a gift from the gods, love it as you deserve
• Exercise and develop your core strength, eat well and rest appropriately for energy. Breath deeply and do daily stretching, a limber body is more fluid and feminine
• Know thyself… Listen to your inner voice, the one of intuition and learn to follow your own guidance, trust the woman within
• Dance often. Either take classes or dance often at home, mastering your body movements is an essential part of having grace and poise naturally
• Groom appropriately, delicately and take due care of your skin and nails by using quality chemical free cosmetics
• Wearing flowing feminine clothes and shoes that fit comfortably always makes you feel elegant and graceful. Take that feeling of flow with you no matter what you are wearing
• Surround yourself with graceful things, nature, plants, fish, waterfalls, home wares, food, bath products, friends and people…

Remember beautiful goddess, true beauty comes from within, so feeling like a womanly Goddess or siren is only a state of mind but one that can be enhanced with a little external help and practice.

Winning affections is simple but it has to start with yourself - winning your own affection and totally loving what you see, hear and feel about the woman you are… External affections will follow quite naturally once you have self love sorted, I promise.

Every woman deserves to reveal the Heavenly Graceful Goddess within… Try these few simple tips and please, gorgeous one, share your thoughts and tips with us here… I love hearing from you x

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

Feeling Fabulous at 40… Why wait?

Gorgeous Ladies (and to my growing list of gentleman readers),

Recently, I had a photgraphic session by the very talented Dylan Hodgson (check him out on my facebook) for the purpose of PR, a fun experience I would recommend to everyone.  However, that is not what I am going to write about today…. What I noticed in going through the disc of fabulous photos is how much I had grown.  There was one picture in particular that stopped me in my tracks, it was a full length photo that captured the very essence of who I am, a real woman.  I thought to myself, wow, I look like a grown up…!  I’d never really seen myself in that light prior to this moment. I feel so young at heart in my mind that seeing my nearly 40 self was a revelation, a fabulous one because I love what I saw. Yes I had a pretty pink shirt on and my hair and makeup was awesome, but what I really captured was the essence of me. While I feel like I own who I am, real and raw, I actually connected and saw that woman in the photo!

I couldn’t help but think of how many times in the past I had put myself down for not being skinny enough, or tall enough, my breasts weren’t big enough, or my teeth straight enough, or I wasn’t smart enough… I have, in the past, spent a lot of time wishing I had something more than what I was blessed with.  I lived in the wish fulfilled of something more. The amount of time I have wasted as a young adult woman not accepting,  not loving, critising and not utilising what I have is profound. I can only, now, imagine what my young adult years would have been like if I lived in the moment feeling confident and grateful as I do now.

With the media hammering us daily with modified pictures of perfect ’skinny’ women, articles on how to lose post baby weight in 2 weeks, diet, diet, diet, film clips that have girating goddesses thrusting themselves against the camera, etc… No wonder we are lead to believe we are not perfect just the way we are… I wish I could go back in time and feel the way I do now… I would have so much more time on my hands, I would feel much happier, I would have had an insatiable lust for life, more confidence, make better decisions, be an uninhibited lover and much more successful….

Now being I can’t go back in time and now is all I can change,  when I look in the mirror I see beauty, lumps, bumps and all…. I accept my curvaceous body, my womanly shape. I see a woman who has mothered two children, is open minded and loving and is perfect with her ‘imperfections’.  I can’t help but wonder how much time we all waste thinking and feeling we wish we had something more than we do - and I am not just relating to our bodies! 

Have YOU ever wished for a different vessel to carry around your soul?  Have you ever wished your butt was smaller, legs longer, nose straighter?  What would be different in your life, if you accepted your gorgeous body and just got on with living, here and now? Take a look around, every ‘body’ is different, most women have curves (that is the way we are supposed to look), we are made in all shapes and sizes, that is what makes us all unique and special… it’s what you do with it that makes the biggest difference. And even more importantly, it is who you are as a person and what you do in your life that is the ultimate prize. They say, beauty comes from within, and they are not kidding…

I have to say as I approach 40 this year, I have never felt better! I have passed many tests, learnt many lessons, weathered much time and experiences and grown enormously, especially in the past few years… In some ways, I feel I have grown into my body, I’ve never been so ‘in love’ with this machine that carries ‘me’ around. I am grateful, blessed.  I find a way to feel and experience gratitude everyday for what I am blessed with and in turn, feel happier, lighter and more productive.

My questions to you are… How much time are you wasting wishing you had ’something’ different?  Are you actively looking after your body temple or spending your time self bashing, wishing you were better, skinner, bigger, smarter? What would it take for you to love who you are, truly indulge in a loving relationship with yourself? What difference would it make to your day, life, if you said each morning how gorgeous, healthy, smart, sexy you are (instead of  God, I wish I had…”). 

There is no time like the present (especially as that is the only time that truly exists) to start doing something different, more loving, for yourself. Why wait to you are 40 to start loving all of you?  My journey has been a long one because it took me to my mid thirties to realise how important it was to love me, prioritise me, care for me and cultivate me…. Only then can I give more to others - like my children. And the journey starts from within…. 

You can start now! 

The more you love yourself from the inside and ‘own who you are’ as a spirited divine being, the less important it is if you have a few bumps or not.  The deeper you go down the rabbit hole in finding out who you are and what makes you tick, the more accepting you are of your external world and the more it changes to a positive view and the more inclined you are of taking care of your body.  The more you journey to the centre of your universe, the more beautiful everything in the world becomes - including your body! Loving your body and owning who you are is an inward journey, and the sooner you start, the easier it will be to prioritise taking care of, nurturing and loving all of you.  What are you waiting for? 

If you are unsure how to start your inward journey to loving your external body, then call me, I can coach you to a perfect place of acceptance where you will delight in being yourself - REAL & RAW! My coaching assist you in overcoming limiting beliefs, experiences and negativity that stop you getting more out of life.  You can change your present experiences in life by taking action. 

For those who want to take action, right now, I am offereing a FREE  “SOLUTION SESSION’ - a 30 minute phone coaching session that focusses on one challenge you are currently facing and in 30 minutes, you will leave the call with a solution - I guarantee it! You have nothing to loose, make the call to start changing your life now.

1300 88 68 82

With love and gratitude.

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton