I am an Ordinary Woman!

I’m an ordinary woman… I have curves like most women and there are parts of my body I’d like to change if I could but I’m happy with what I’ve been given. I have a warm smile and I know I have warmth in my heart because I can feel it. I see the world through bright blue eyes but how I see the world is my very own Uniqueness - as it is for every woman.

I often make mistakes, sometimes over and over again until I eventually understand the universe is trying to tell me something and I eventually get the message - the valuable learnings, so I can move forward.  I have a tendency to attract the ‘mack truck’ kind of experiences - you know, the ones that hit you smack bang right in the face, hard and it hurts like hell.  I’ve started to learn much more quickly and read the signs now before I get run over. I hear the voice within, feel in my senses and my intuition but I don’t always listen…

I strive to be the best parent I can be and struggle not to blame my parents for fucking it up for me. I remind myself they taught me what NOT to do as a parent, so I’m ok, I know they did the best they can and for their efforts, I am grateful. My kids love me unconditionally and while it’s not always easy, we manage and we have a lot of fun. Like most mums, I’d do anything for my children and can’t imagine my life without them, they are the teachers, they are the wise ones in my world.

Every day, a little bit more of my heart is forgiven for leaving my marriage instead of sticking it out and working it out. Every day I send him love and hope my childrens father doesn’t hate me for changing our family.  And every day I am grateful I have had the opportunity to explore who I really am as a woman since then.

Throughout this journey I have taken on my own, I’ve learned many things and experienced even more… Who I am, what I want, what I am capable of and what I am not. I’ve discovered who my real friends are and who is most important to me and what it means to be a girlfriend - loyal, strong, nurturing, compassionate, happy! I’ve decided I’m still learning how to be a great girl-friend.

I seek no validation, nor fame. I want freedom to be me, as a warm hearted mother and spirited lover. I desire the peace of mind that comes from speaking my mind and being present with my emotions. I want freedom to be emotional without excuses or hiding behind a veil of bravery - for I know my strength comes from my ability to release, realise and accept how I feel.

What I want for myself is a sense of knowing that I am equanamous with mother nature and that I am the same life force that thrives in her.  The feeling that I am indeed, powerful beyond measure but I don’t always feel that kind of power… In fact, sometimes I feel completely powerless and full of pain.  When I watch TV or see the atrocities that are committed in the world against women and children, I realise I am not alone, we women have a long way to go till we are free… Free from what? Ourselves and the walls we have built over centuries of hiding and denigration?

We no longer have the fear of burning at the stake - at least not in this country but we still live with fear - fear of being a deeply loving sexual goddess, fear self of expression and speaking our truth, even if our love is at risk. I’m an ordinary woman, I want what every woman wants - to feel like a woman one who can and does harness the power of the greatest mother of all - mother earth.

Every now and then I get a glimpse of  mother earth connection and it brings me back down to earth, literally pulling me down to the core of who I am, the core of the earth.  I am most grounded and at peace when I am connect with the core. My connection with the earth mother makes we want to run wild and naked through the woods howling with joy and a sense of freedom - but if I did that, run like the wolves, would I still be an ordinary woman?

I don’t want to hide behind the cloak of that which I have created but to not hide, leaves me open to explore uncharted territory… Do I dare go where the wise women before me have gone? Do I reach up, reach out, speak up and dare to shout out from the roof tops what I actually want… Do I even know what that really is?

I wonder if other ordinary women feel the same as me? Do they too want to scream from the roof tops and be set free? Do they KNOW without a doubt, of the feeling of wonderment, wildness, willingness and wisdom that resides within their heart and have they too lost their key to unlock the mysteries of womanhood?

Do other women want more from life, to unleash the suppression that lies heavy in their hearts? Do they know the great love of source and  spirit resides within them?

I am an ordinary woman, but I FEEL so much, so deeply, with complexity that leaves me bewildered, enriched and sometimes confused and scared. I FEEL so much love and yet, shy away from the love of others. I play a dance of openness and close up when it’s not comfortable for me to be so vulnerable.

I know how to surrender and open myself to vulnerability, I understand my strength when I am vulnerable and open like a flower… But if I question myself, do I really know how to fully surrender? Would I have not run like the wolves by now? Would I have not spoken up and stood out and shouted from the roof tops, my hearts desires?  Would I have not challenged this very world we women live in?

Would I have not screamed my fucking lungs out, with the greatest intensity during a session with my lover? If I was supposed to be fully surrendered, why would I have ever held back?

I am an ordinary woman, I live with passion and wishes fulfilled, I have desires and hopes and some of my dreams are so far, left unfulfilled… Marianne Williamson said it best in her book ‘A return to love’, we are powerful beyond measure, when we shine our light, we give others permission to also shine….

So anything less than me being EXTRAORDINARY, isn’t me being myself, isn’t me leaving my mark on this world. It is certainly not me being everything I know I am…. I am extraordinary, I just know it, I always have been.

You are just like me, you feel it, don’t you? Won’t you join me and be extraordinary too… The great mother earth, our world and the women in it, need us to be more - more of everything we know we are already…. It’s time to surrender and unleash!

Everything we discuss here is covered in The Goddess Retreat - you are not alone, you never will be. Nothing you experience as a woman ever has to be misunderstood, never has to be left unforgiven… Begin your journey today and join us.  CLICK HERE for dates and details.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

Passionate Girlfriends - The Keys to Lasting Real Friendships

A good friend will speak to you, even when she is getting a brazillian

This is dedicated to my girlfriends, you know who you are!

Yesterday I called a girlfriend for a chat, I really needed to hear her opinion on something I’d decided on. When I called I said, “hey hon, have you got a minute, I just want to run something by you”, she said sure. So off I went on my rant and shared all sides of the dilemma with her. At some stage she mentions she ‘just getting a brazillian now’ and continues to support me and my decision making process - all the while having hair ripped out of her body….

Now I don’t know if you have ever had a ‘Brazillian’ but they bloody hurt like hell and even under the extremes of pain, she was there for me, to hear me and support me… God I love her and that is why, to this day, she continues to be my friend after 27 years.

A good friend will always be there for you, no matter what is happening. She will support you, share her honest opinion and make you ‘pull you head in’, when you need that too.

There was a time just recently when my beautiful lover told me he wanted to be with me ‘forever’. Now me, being in the middle of my struggle to let go and allow vulnerability to reign, said in response, “there’s no such thing as forever, how about we just do this for as long as we can”… God I’m a dickhead!!!  I witnessed the immediate deflation of his enthusiasm and his energy withdrew, just like that. And then of course I tried to redeem myself with a rambling because I realised what I had done to his sense of romance and commitment to me… ouch!

Later, I told my girlfriend (the same one) what I had said in response to him (you see us girls do share our thoughts and happenings with our besties) and she gave me a royal kick up the arse… It went something like this “Jesus Janelle, you’ve waited so long for a man like him to come into your life, wake up to yourself, can’t you just let him love you, get the fuck out of your head and just allow yourself to be romanced and loved”!!!

WOW, had I been told… And of course, she was exactly right. It was exactly waht I needed to hear.  I didn’t need permission to be so incredibly in love or loved but I did need to let my guard down so I could experience the full enrapture of loves power and force. The guard or wall around my heart, I didn’t even know was there (well I did but it’s more easily recognised by others, perhaps it’s because of their own reflection)..

Anyway, it was a relief to knock down the wall and a conversation with my lover on my ‘findings’ had me allowing vulnerability and going with the flow of ‘forever’… Imagine that, forever in love! My relationship immediately benefited from my arse kicking, thanks to the courage of my girlfriend. Not only did she see what I was unwilling to see, she had the courage to tell me so. Blessed I say, blessed!

My point? A real girlfriend is the one who is not afraid to kick your ass and tell you to pull your head in. She is loyal and willing to risk the friendship in order to speak the truth. She is forgiving and accepting of all of you and tolerant of other things. She embraces your family, children and other friends (even if she doesn’t really like them that much), she respects your decisions even if she doesn’t understand them and does so without judgement.

The real girlfriends are the ones you can trust with your secrets, your ideas and your dreams. She holds sacred the ‘vault’ and honours what you have to offer as your own. She does not bend the rules of the vault you share.

A real girlfriend cries with you when you are grieving and then helps pull you out of it as best she can. She will ask you if you want a ’shoulder’ or advise and listens to you either way. She checks in on you when you’ve been silent and reminds you of the good times you’ve shared when you need a laugh. She shares her knowledge and memories of you with your children and reminds you of who you really are, where you’ve come from and where you are headed… She is a memory bank for those you leave behind.

She walks alongside you in the journey of life - giving and taking, sharing, laughing, enjoying good and bad times. She talks to you during a waxing session and jumps to the rescue when you are feeling down or wanting fun and myschief. She is willing to run to your side when you need a hand and laughs at you when you are being silly.

She is a member of your tribe, the community of women you hold sacred and close. She is essential. For a long time or a short time, good friends keep us alive and well and hold us accountable for being real, they leave their mark and provide us with lessons and learnings, they are priceless and precious.

Friendships you are passionate about energise you and give you freedom to be authentically you. They give you someone to love when there seems to be no love in your life but them.  They provide a reflection for you to see and experience ‘who you really are’. What you see in them is in some way, a reflection of how you see yourself, for that, we should be grateful and appreciate every moment.

If you have a special friend that you honour and respect, tell her today. If you have women in your life that you’d like to be closer to, do something for them and tell them you want a friendship with them, they want friendship too. If you have a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while, call her - she needs you. If you haven’t told your friend how much you love her in a while, tell her now. If it’s been like ‘forever’ since you got your girls together for some valuable ‘girl time’ do it now, every woman needs the support of the little tribe you have. If there is a woman who needs a little extra care and support right now - invite her into your tribe and care for her.

There is no reason on earth why a woman should ever feel alone or lonely. We are communal by nature, it’s in our primal nature to be in communities of other women…

What are you doing to nurture your tribe, your friendships, yourself?

I invite you to join Top Secret Women’s Business for any of our upcoming events so you can make new friends, join a growing tribe of like minded women and feel supported, loved and free- You may just enjoy a little fun along the way…

Cherish your girlfriends with insatiable passion and nurture your sacred feminine spirit as you do so…

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

Director, Top Secret Women’s Business Pty. Ltd

All Rights Reserved 2011 ©

If you wish to repost this article, please do so only if you wish  to credit the author

Top 3 Passion Killers

There are times in life when not a lot in life seems overly exciting. The couch seems like the better option than standing up to exercise, eating takeaway is easier than making food that is healthy and nutritious.

Your relationship hit a critical mass ‘breakdown’ - neither party is willing to spice things up or talk about real issues, sex is a chore (what the?), housework is even worse and putting any imagination into your life ‘together’ seems futile.

The kids are bored and fighting, work is a burden of dreary ‘good for nothing’ means to an end unmentionables and even your social life fails to excite you… Kill me slowly….

What is going on? Where have the days of loving your life gone?  You used to love your work, now it’s a mundane time consuming pay check.  Your partner used to excite the fuck out of you, literally, now the sight of them makes you want to run for the hills or roll over (even if it’s a temporary ailment, it still occasionally happens) and the thought of excercising and loving your body, increasing your energy and being pumped by life is only something those crazed personal trainers enjoy…

Adventure is out of the question, I mean what is this adventure you speak of anyway? Adventure is for kids, NOT!!!!!!

I could go on here but you get the picture….

The worst part is, even if this ugly picture does not apply to you, there is a little bit of it in all of us, at different times in our life, times when our passion and vavavoom for life has simply melted away…  It’s the stuck state you hate, the treadmill that you want OFF! Well it doesn’t have to last forever…

So what happens, does passion just get up and walk out on us in our time of need?

What stops us from maintaining our passion and lust for the things that are most important to us?

The top 3 Passion killers are:

No1. Killer of passion is COMPLACENCY… When you take your eye off the prize, your eye off the target and stop putting in any effort, complacency kicks in. We get a little too comfortable, a little lazy perhaps, can’t be bothered and seise all passion increasing activities.  When you stop making an effort life starts to resemble a treadmill of monoteny, it’s the same, day in day out and your arch enemy COMPLACENCY thrives in such environments.

No2. Killer of passion is ‘NOT KNOWING’ what you are passionate about. If you have nothing to be passionate about - like a career you love, a partner you adore, a body that excites you, friends who inspire you, hobbies that motivate you, then it may be time to make some decisions and gain some clarity about what you would like to be passionate about instead of maintaining the current status quo. You’ve settled for ‘what is’ instead of deciding what you really want and then going after it. Not knowing can also indicate an unwillingness to explore what is possible. To this I would say, isn’t it time do dare to do something that actually excites you?

No3. Killer of passion is FEAR, fear of getting outside the box and daring to do it, ‘life’ that is. Quite often you are ruled by fear and it’s debilitating claws that you dare not do anything different for fear of the consequences. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being abandon, judged, fear of being broke, fear of what people think…. Sound familiar? Fear has a strong hold over us for many reasons and the fear mongering world we live in only serves to generate more fear…

There are many different reasons why passion can melt - health problems, significant trauma, events of the past that are unresolved, social stigma to name a few more, perhaps you never had it to start with?

In any case, all of these can be healed, repaired, ignited and put back on track with the right help. You can break free of the chains that bind you, you can crack complacency and overcome your fears, you can ignite and discover your passions, I’ll show you how, all you have to do is decide it’s something you need right now.

Passion is for everyone to enjoy, it’s only fair that you enjoy every aspect of your life and live like each day is your last. It’s makes common sense to let go of a past that doesn’t even exist anymore and get on with living a full and over flowing life, but are you?

It makes total sense to do what you love and love who you ‘do’ with absolute crazy passion… Passion makes you feel powerful and if you feel it, guess what, you are powerful.  Passion makes you feel energised, enlivened and enthusiastic. Are you getting enough?

Anything less than you living your life passionately, isn’t you being your full and vibrant, loving and amazing self, isn’t it?  Why would you compromise who you really are?

What can you do today that puts a little more passion back into your life?

What do you need to ‘move away from’ in order to get what you want?

What lengths are you willing to go, to discover what your passions really are?

How would your relationship improve if you popped a little more passion into it?

Ready to breakthrough some boundaries and totally pop with Passion? I can help, all you need to do is say, BOOK ME IN!

Join me (over skype) for a ‘Passion Pop Experience’, it’s a specific way of experiencing a pop into being more passionate in all areas of your life. I will take you on an experiential journey into new territory, so you can feel free to LOVE YOUR LIFE with PASSION!

You will pop through the glass ceiling that currently stops you from feeling the love (in any area of your life). Come Pop with me. Sessions are 1.5 hours and $295AUD Email me you interest and I will schedule your appointment.

Sometimes changing your life is a simple as a POP in your imagination….

Yours Real & Raw,

Janelle Manton

TSWB (C) All Rights Reserved 2011

Secrets Revealed - Girl Time Rules!

Darling and most gorgeous Goddesses,

This article is about secrets revealed - your secrets! I remember being a little girl and my best friend was almost like an extension of my mind. We shared everything, our thoughts, experiences, wishes, our dreams and aspirations.  We engaged in hours of creative play acting games (mostly Barbies), we amused ourselves (quite seriously) with regular talent quests, girls clubs and we danced and sang into the wee hours of the night.

After spending all day at school together and playing at each others house after, we would then come home and get on the phone or write letters to each other to give the next day. Then one day we grew up, life took a hold of us, we had jobs, higher school, boyfriends and our ‘togetherness’ slowly diminished….

In the old days, there wasn’t a thing I would not tell my girlfriend, she knew everything about me and I about her. Nowadays, with husbands, children, careers, companies, obligations and schedules, there doesn’t seem to be as much time to play (although sometimes I wish we could) and so, with grown up life, our secret thoughts, dreams and aspirations go untold. I miss those days of girlfriend supremecy!
Read more