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Swimming in the Deep – How to overcome bouts of depression

Swimming in the Deep – How to overcome bouts of depression

May 3, 2016

Everyone on the planet has ‘bouts of depression’. Every single person can relate to feeling bad or emotional, sometimes we don’t even know why, right? You may just wake up in a mad mood and feel a little odd for the day.

You may find yourself dealing with difficult people or situations that have occurred that are emotionally draining and have taken their toll on your energy and ability to manage the feelings that arise. You could be dealing with grief or even violent situations and or relationships. In any case, no-one has ever had a perfect life without a case of the down and outs on occasion.

Avoid toxic substances that hide your real feelings

Avoid toxic substances that hide your real feelings

Depression is labelled differently by different groups. Some call sadness depression; others call it the dark side or our shadow side. We may refer to a low emotional day as being ‘down’ or feeling bad. It doesn’t matter what you decide to label or call it, we all experience feeling low occasionally. Unfortunately, no one is exempt from our shadow side or feeling low. The difference is, how long you stay ‘down’ for and what you make it mean.

This is article can assist with down times but should a more severe ‘bout’ of depression plague you due to post traumatic stress or grief then I suggest speaking to a medical advisor as there may be a more serious condition, hormonal imbalance or something else to consider. This is no way meant to replace medical assistance – So there is my disclaimer!

In this article I am going to explore this dark side of emotion which rares is ugly head on occasion. I am going to discuss strategies to ‘get you out of the blues quickly’.

The problem with deep darker emotions (as I like to call them) is that we are sometimes too quick to call it depression and try to brush it off without discovering why you are feeling that way in the first place. Some people don’t even brush it off, they dwell in that state for long periods of time because they don’t know how to ‘get themselves out of it’.

While it feels terrible to feel low and unmotivated, there is a reason why your heart body, mind and emotions are asking you to feel this way. These precious moments are a portal to look deep inside and try to figure out how to solve an immediate problem. Sometimes down days can simple be your body’s way of warning you to slow down and take a rest before you burn out.

Let me share a quick story. In the past three years I had been in a relationship which turned very toxic over a slow long period of time, I almost didn’t notice how heavy it was weighing on me till the day I didn’t even recognise myself anymore – a violent outburst was the result. I hated who I had become, how I was acting and how unhappy, grumpy and angry I’d become. I felt sad.  I’d compromised myself so much that I felt down regularly.

I spent time in deep reflection and analysed what was going on and realised I had to get out. I was not willing to compromise me anymore for the sake of the relationship. I needed me back. So after moving out of our home we shared, I got my own place and I finally felt free. BUT as fate would have it, I also lost my job of four years, and then my son moved inter-state to live with his father to finish high school there. It seemed like every part of my life was changing at the same time and the roller coaster was filled with days of massive dark emotions I found difficult to navigate through…

In the midst of the storms that came and went sometimes daily (this is my way of saying waves of ups and feeling like shit), I found myself spending days on the couch crying and feeling sorry for myself, yes I know I actually did that and I was totally ok with it. The important thing I did differently though, was allow myself to grieve through the losses I’d experienced. I needed time to heal and mend my broken and disappointed heart and time to let the toxicity from the past to seep away.

During this time of letting go and healing, I also searched my soul for reconciliation and realised I needed to fill my life with good stuff that made me feel full and whole again. So here is what I did to drag myself out of a slump and to this day while I am still healing parts of myself, I do some of these things ritualistically so I can stay on top. WHY?

Because the only way to get out of a slump is to take action that has you moving toward what you want. If you don’t know what you want instead, that is ok. If your situation is because of grief or fear, that is ok too. Taking action that makes you feel good and makes a difference toward better feelings, more motivation, more energy and more self-recognition is how to get our self up and back into life…

Here is a list of easy ways you can lift yourself out of a bout of blues;

  • Watch daily inspiring and uplifting videos, TED talks, YouTube clips on motivation, goal setting, empowerment (Anthony Robbins , Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dwyer, Teal Swan, Caroline Myss and Deepak Chopra are my favourites)
  • Wake up each day and spend time deciding how you want to feel todayset clear intentions on how you want to feel and what you want to achieve by simply deciding and then taking some action toward that goal.
  • Have healing conversations – its important to invite closure by having conversations with those concerned as this will relieve your emotional state. Be sure you are in integrity and without blame when you confront anyone.
  • Groom and pamper yourself – Hair conditioning treatments, face masks, body butter, long baths, manicures…
  • Light candles and incense to create ambience in my home
  • Declutter a draw, room or space – they say a decluttered house is a decluttered mind. You will feel freer and lighter
  • Surround yourself with positive loving people – only spend time with people who will bring you up and onward
  • Start a new hobby – I did acting course and was luckily cast in a part of The Boy from Oz which took up lots of my time and surrounded me with lots of positive people. You could try dance, painting, drawing, cooking, pottery or study something new.
  • Only share your problems with people who can genuinely help you. Having a winge to anyone who will hear you is only solidifying the problem and making it bigger. Stop talking about it and do something different instead.
  • Do something positive for yourself every day – eat better meals, exercise regularly, spend quality time with family.
  • Go to the movies by yourself – this s a great way to ‘break your emotional state ’by escaping it for a while. This in itself can help the feelings simply disappear.
  • Allow yourself to cry – they say that tears are better out than in and as they fall out, they give you relief from the build-up of emotional pressure. Never stop yourself crying; crying is a sign of strength, understanding and self-care.
  • Play happy music that inspires you and lifts your spirits – singing out loud to and empty audience will make you feel good with floods your body with happy hormones, you cannot help but feel better
  • Write new and empowering goalsSet a new standard for yourself by reframing the situation and looking for the positive lessons you can take from it. Then apply that knowledge into new empowering goals.
  • Turn every negative thought and feeling into a positive thought or feeling remember it could always be worse and there is always a positive side to consider. You hae to consider every situation with positivity.
  • Spend time in reflect Try to analyse what is really going on for you, ask yourself what are you really feeling, seek to understand it? What is it you need to know about the situation/yourself right now? Allow the messages and healing that follows to flow

AVOID – Toxic substances like drugs, alcohol and lots of processed junk food, eat clean.

AVOID – Toxic people who are negative, complain all the time and are void of taking responsibility for their own lives.

AVOID – Blaming others. Regardless of what happened to you to get you into the state you are in, it’s important you don’t play the blame game as the ill-feelings will linger and continue to bring you down. Instead, take responsibility for the part you played and work on forgiving the person or situation so you can release yourself from it quicker. It can’t hurt you anymore.

AVOID – Staying down in the dumps for too long. If the feelings proceed past a few days and nothing seems to help, see your Doctor or talk to a trusted friend. Remember you don’t have to go it alone.

I hope that just one of these will assist you in become a fully functional and motivated person again. You may have noticed that every suggestion includes you DOING SOMETHING. There is a reason why and that is because if you do nothing, you will stay blue for longer. its that simple. Life happens, take appropriate action and keep moving forward. It’s critical you take positive action, it takes a little effort to be happy and I pray this helps you as much as it did for me.

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

All rights Reserved (C)  2016

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    5 comments

    1. Kelly Q /

      Hey My adorable inspirational dear friend
      Love your writing love you sharing
      I can see evidence of your growth shining
      through
      Love and respect you
      ❤️❤️

    2. Tere Staples /

      Fantastic article and well written!!! I so and totally relate to what you wrote! I have been thru very nearly the exact same roller coaster change and grief process.

      I do have an inspired idea and would love to put together a panel for the idea. Would love you onboard if you’re interested?

      Regards Tere

      • janelle /

        I’m very interested in biulding a team of empowered and motivated women and men… Time for more change is more necessary than ever.

    3. Steve James /

      This is an excellent article and really touched a spot.
      Well done Janelle !

      • janelle /

        Thanks Steve, it came after a difficult time and I realised others may enjoy the perspective. x

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