Looking in the Mirror of Success?

How many times have you been in a situation that calls for you to look in the mirror, only to find the mirror is broken? You refuse to look at yourself for the answers but blame the world around you for what could have been stopped the moment you looked within. The blame game is no game at all…

What do I actually mean?  Well let’s suppose you are blamed for something that you feel you didn’t do and no matter how hard you try to defend your position you still get blamed. What then? How are these situations affecting your rate of Success? Your happiness? Your self esteem?

There are many times in life when things ‘happens’ to us and it’s a great time to really look in that proverbial mirror to see how what is happening, is a reflection of you or at least a part of you.  You see, nothing really happens to us, we create it, all of it.  So when the chips are down, look in the mirror and see what part of you is really at play. Every situation calls for you to reflect on the inside and own your part in the game that is going on around you. 

If you can imagine for a moment that you are the centre of the universe (and in some strange way you actually are), then doesn’t every situation call for your input? There is blame all around us, every day and so, the big question is: Are you the one pointing the finger or the person at the receiving end?  In any case both parties still need to look at themselves for the answers because there is always something to learn from every experience.

Whether this be the case in business or in your personal life, the only way to take full control of your life is by taking full responsibility for what ‘happens’ in it.  This was the case for me at a recent gathering with my family.  I was blamed for something I feel I had no part in but the truth be known, when I look closely at the other parties accusation, there was something in that for me ‘to get’ and I got it alright!  Now even though the accusation was incorrect, I could still look into the situation and gain some learning or knowledge that gave me insight into me.

It is said that perception is projection. So how you perceive something is how you are also projecting it to be.  That also means if you are projecting something out into the world, say like an opinion it is also only how you perceive it and not necessarily how anyone else may view it.  Is it yet another chance to look within?  There, inside of yourself, is where you find all the answers to life…..

So the good news is there is always something to learn, lessons come in a variety of shapes and colours and one of your greatest strengths is your ability to diffuse a situation by owning your part in it.

When it comes to being successful in what ever you choose to do, take a good look at how your beliefs and values are playing their part in holding you back. It could be time for an overhaul to get you doing more of what you really want in life…

So how do you do that? Even when you feel you did nothing wrong?

That’s the easy part.  Ask yourself the question, How is what is going on a reflection of how I really feel?  Identify with the part that you find most upsetting and see how that reflects your current situation or circumstance. If you feel uncomfortable or are in denial at all, here is where it will show up.  Become aware of how you feel and then act upon it.  Sometimes a quick phone call to the people involved can resolve and dissolve an issue before it gets out of hand.  There is quite often a misunderstanding or someone’s real feelings at the end of the blame game, so be open to ‘getting it’, understanding it and moving through it before all hell breaks loose.

A values checkin is always helpful and that is where a coach can guide you through to assist you in aligning more with what is impotant to you in life.

So what happens if you fail to see how the situation is a reflection of you or your true feelings or the Mirror is Broken?  Nothing happens but you may well continue to have these ’situations’ show up till you do understand what it is you need to learn.  Success comes to those who are most willing to be themselves, authenticity and by speaking your truth.  Life is like that and mother-nature is relentless when we need to learn something… It will keep showing up in all areas of your life and get bigger and bigger till you take the lessons and implement them by making changes to your life.

What are some of the keys to really understand this concept?

• Know yourself and be courageous enough to ask the hard question of yourself - How is this a reflection of me and how I feel?… You are a work in progress so be open to learning and looking within.
• Set clear boundaries. People will only treat you as you allow them, so with some effective communication and some ‘I feel’ statements you can have the kind of relationships you deserve with everyone in your life.
• Take the higher ground and stay out of someone else’s argument. If the other person has a vendetta against you, do not buy into their story, it could be about them and what they are projecting outward. Certainly reflect on how you are involved but do not put fuel on the fire by ‘getting into’ with them.
• Be compassionate with your understanding of the other person involved and try to see the world with their eyes, if only for a second. You may be surprised at what you see.
• Be open to learning something new at all times and even more willing to do something different to get a new and more positive outcome. There is always one waiting for you.

Success comes when you are clear about your intentions, what you want, how you show up and what you are willing to do to get it. Be your own best coach and when you have utilised all of your own resources, consider it time to get a coach to assist you. Gaining real clarity and opening the window within is easier for those who ask how.

I have been coaching for over 6 years and assist women to get what they want out of life. Be it more from their relationships, their careers or to have a fabulously loving relationship with yourself, I am here to help, so call and find out how coaching can help you. 1300 88 69 82