I am an Ordinary Woman!

I’m an ordinary woman… I have curves like most women and there are parts of my body I’d like to change if I could but I’m happy with what I’ve been given. I have a warm smile and I know I have warmth in my heart because I can feel it. I see the world through bright blue eyes but how I see the world is my very own Uniqueness - as it is for every woman.

I often make mistakes, sometimes over and over again until I eventually understand the universe is trying to tell me something and I eventually get the message - the valuable learnings, so I can move forward.  I have a tendency to attract the ‘mack truck’ kind of experiences - you know, the ones that hit you smack bang right in the face, hard and it hurts like hell.  I’ve started to learn much more quickly and read the signs now before I get run over. I hear the voice within, feel in my senses and my intuition but I don’t always listen…

I strive to be the best parent I can be and struggle not to blame my parents for fucking it up for me. I remind myself they taught me what NOT to do as a parent, so I’m ok, I know they did the best they can and for their efforts, I am grateful. My kids love me unconditionally and while it’s not always easy, we manage and we have a lot of fun. Like most mums, I’d do anything for my children and can’t imagine my life without them, they are the teachers, they are the wise ones in my world.

Every day, a little bit more of my heart is forgiven for leaving my marriage instead of sticking it out and working it out. Every day I send him love and hope my childrens father doesn’t hate me for changing our family.  And every day I am grateful I have had the opportunity to explore who I really am as a woman since then.

Throughout this journey I have taken on my own, I’ve learned many things and experienced even more… Who I am, what I want, what I am capable of and what I am not. I’ve discovered who my real friends are and who is most important to me and what it means to be a girlfriend - loyal, strong, nurturing, compassionate, happy! I’ve decided I’m still learning how to be a great girl-friend.

I seek no validation, nor fame. I want freedom to be me, as a warm hearted mother and spirited lover. I desire the peace of mind that comes from speaking my mind and being present with my emotions. I want freedom to be emotional without excuses or hiding behind a veil of bravery - for I know my strength comes from my ability to release, realise and accept how I feel.

What I want for myself is a sense of knowing that I am equanamous with mother nature and that I am the same life force that thrives in her.  The feeling that I am indeed, powerful beyond measure but I don’t always feel that kind of power… In fact, sometimes I feel completely powerless and full of pain.  When I watch TV or see the atrocities that are committed in the world against women and children, I realise I am not alone, we women have a long way to go till we are free… Free from what? Ourselves and the walls we have built over centuries of hiding and denigration?

We no longer have the fear of burning at the stake - at least not in this country but we still live with fear - fear of being a deeply loving sexual goddess, fear self of expression and speaking our truth, even if our love is at risk. I’m an ordinary woman, I want what every woman wants - to feel like a woman one who can and does harness the power of the greatest mother of all - mother earth.

Every now and then I get a glimpse of  mother earth connection and it brings me back down to earth, literally pulling me down to the core of who I am, the core of the earth.  I am most grounded and at peace when I am connect with the core. My connection with the earth mother makes we want to run wild and naked through the woods howling with joy and a sense of freedom - but if I did that, run like the wolves, would I still be an ordinary woman?

I don’t want to hide behind the cloak of that which I have created but to not hide, leaves me open to explore uncharted territory… Do I dare go where the wise women before me have gone? Do I reach up, reach out, speak up and dare to shout out from the roof tops what I actually want… Do I even know what that really is?

I wonder if other ordinary women feel the same as me? Do they too want to scream from the roof tops and be set free? Do they KNOW without a doubt, of the feeling of wonderment, wildness, willingness and wisdom that resides within their heart and have they too lost their key to unlock the mysteries of womanhood?

Do other women want more from life, to unleash the suppression that lies heavy in their hearts? Do they know the great love of source and  spirit resides within them?

I am an ordinary woman, but I FEEL so much, so deeply, with complexity that leaves me bewildered, enriched and sometimes confused and scared. I FEEL so much love and yet, shy away from the love of others. I play a dance of openness and close up when it’s not comfortable for me to be so vulnerable.

I know how to surrender and open myself to vulnerability, I understand my strength when I am vulnerable and open like a flower… But if I question myself, do I really know how to fully surrender? Would I have not run like the wolves by now? Would I have not spoken up and stood out and shouted from the roof tops, my hearts desires?  Would I have not challenged this very world we women live in?

Would I have not screamed my fucking lungs out, with the greatest intensity during a session with my lover? If I was supposed to be fully surrendered, why would I have ever held back?

I am an ordinary woman, I live with passion and wishes fulfilled, I have desires and hopes and some of my dreams are so far, left unfulfilled… Marianne Williamson said it best in her book ‘A return to love’, we are powerful beyond measure, when we shine our light, we give others permission to also shine….

So anything less than me being EXTRAORDINARY, isn’t me being myself, isn’t me leaving my mark on this world. It is certainly not me being everything I know I am…. I am extraordinary, I just know it, I always have been.

You are just like me, you feel it, don’t you? Won’t you join me and be extraordinary too… The great mother earth, our world and the women in it, need us to be more - more of everything we know we are already…. It’s time to surrender and unleash!

Everything we discuss here is covered in The Goddess Retreat - you are not alone, you never will be. Nothing you experience as a woman ever has to be misunderstood, never has to be left unforgiven… Begin your journey today and join us.  CLICK HERE for dates and details.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

All Rights Reserved (C) 2011

Show me the way home, Deal Lover

Dear Lover,

How I crave you. Every day my craving grows and expands in a way I’ve never experienced before.  And my cravings are always satiated with your presence… Only to reignite when you are away from me…

I fell in love with you quickly my darling because you are so much like me, you are a reflection of me and how I feel about myself, I see myself in you. There are times when I wonder about love and if my love for you is more infatuation, an ‘in love and lust’ kind of love and then you sweep me away to yet another paradigm of understandings and depth… another world of something so unconditional I can hardly breath, my love.

Sometimes when you are away I start to doubt myself and my fear of such closeness stifles me.  What if you see all of me and who I really am? What if you don’t think I’m perfect or irresistible?  What if you change your mind about loving me?  I’m slowly unravelling in my trust and when I feel a little uneasy, you have this uncanny way of reassuring me with your open heart and open mind, you see me, dear lover, you hear me dear lover and you embrace all of me… Dear Lover, how I love you.

You allow me to open my yearning heart and yield to its cravings. The delicious ways you open me to universal love is incredibly revealing and raw, it’s who I am and who I have always desired to be but have never achieved entirely on my own…

It’s only in our intimate relations with another that we really see ourselves, this I’ve discovered with you my love - In our reflection we discover who we really are and my blessing today with you, dear lover, is how much I love and adore you, how much I admire your courage to love so openly and honestly, how willing you are to discover the depth of feeling and experience true, unconditional love can bring.

I’m eternally grateful because the very way you love me brings me closer to me, my core, my growing love for me is your true gift.  Thank you dear lover for showing me the way home - to my own heart…. Oh how I crave…

Yours Real and Raw,

Janelle Manton

Top Secret Women’s Business

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The Collision Course Called Love!

When love strikes, it can hit like a freight train… In my experience, there are two types of freight trains; the kind that slowly builds up momentum and speed and keeps a steady course all the way till it reaches its final destination. Then you have the kind of freight train that stops every now and then, drops off a load, picks up new stuff but keeps on chugging long…

Trains can’t come to a full stop in an instant; they take between 1-2 kilometres to actually come to a full halt. They have to brake slowly, gently easing into a stop and with so much weight behind them; inertia alone is enough to keep them going for some time.  Love is a lot like a freight train, two souls steaming toward each other at different speeds, hoping they reach the destination at the same time.

My Dad was a train driver so I understand the intricacies of train driving, having grown up with them and I know all too well the dangers that can lie ahead if you are not watching.  In 42 years in the railways, my dad had 2 suicides jump in front of his trains; it seems that they too knew the power a train has and that it simply can’t stop right away.  And I would bet that if those two lost souls could be asked why they jumped, it would have something to do with love or the lack of it…

Love can come in all shapes and sizes, for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes love lasts forever and other times it’s a fleeting moment in time, like in the movie “Bridges of Madison County”, one woman forgoes her lover for a life of honouring her husband and family… But she never stopped loving the travelling photographer, knowing they had loved once, was enough.

One of the wonderful things I adore about love is how it can come to you in so many ways, I’m sure you’ve heard a friend tell you ‘how she met her new boyfriend’?  Sometimes it happen when you least expect it, it can just creep up on you and all you have to do is say YES!

For some, saying yes is a big challenge; it means surrendering and feeling vulnerable. It means giving something up or it provokes memories of a time when love did not last, and that brings about hurt and pain. The force of love can take you to the depths of your deepest fears, directly into a collision course with your consciousness and with your newly found loved one (should he arrive at such a time).

What love delivers when you recover from the crash is nothing short of a miracle… Pure heartfelt yearning, openness and a vulnerability that is so pure, it is power and strength unto itself… Pure love is never fully satiated, it yearns always for more depth, more understanding, deeper levels of connection and passion but finds happiness in every moment.

In order for you to feel such love there are a few things that need to happen - whether you have a current partner or not;

1)      Do the necessary work on yourself to clear bad memories that no longer lift you. This could mean getting a coach or seeing a counsellor, working your way to the other side of a painful situation. REalise by changing how you feel and see the world, you can change it.

2)      Most of us have heard of the laws of attraction, so start using it… What you think you create, so start thinking about who you want to bring into your life and perhaps write down what is really important to you

3)      Take good care of yourself, nurture, be gentle, tap right into your feminine energy if you are a woman. For the guys truly sink into the feeling of being a male who is compassionate, caring, patient and most importantly - open to receiving love…

4)      Be the kind of lover, woman or man, you want to attract. If he or she has similar values and beliefs, it’s should be easy… It’s simple enough to say what you want, but are you the ideal match for the person you want? Do you have work to do?

5)      Realise that your potential new love partner is also on a journey and he’s heading your way, just waiting for the right time to collide with you in a synchronistic moment… Because that is what love does, when you least expect it.

Love really is the colliding of two souls ripe for the collision… Now the collision should not have any casualties, in fact, if you are open and honest enough about whom you are and what you want, then it may never have to end. Loves bliss is likely to last a life time with two open, willing to grow together souls.

Love will always meet you where you are at… If you are used to failing in love and are not willing to be a different person next time around, then it’s a likelihood you will get more of the same.

Why do you think women go from one abusive relationship to another? Because they have not done the work within themselves to change what they think they deserve, therefore attracting more of the same. If you want a different outcome, it’s essential to go about the task in a different way… And ask for help if you don’t know how to change.

My coaching programs with women do exactly that, help women to change and ultimately, see themselves as deserving and worthy of the greatest things in life, especially love. When a woman finds strength and reason to celebrate being herself, then the likelihood of colliding with love that lasts is more likely.

When you truly love and cherish yourself, then the channels of love are open and flow freely…

If true love is passing you by, then look in the mirror and be honest about what you see because love starts with one single person and that person is you - loving you!

If you are interested in a course in love and changing your ways, please contact me for a consultation to see if I am the one to help.  I do initial phone interviews with all my clients before we agree to proceed. Email: admin@topsecretwomensbusiness.com and leave you number for me to call you anywhere in the world.

Yours Real and Raw

Janelle Manton

January Bliss Tip

It’s the first week of another year, a great time to indulge in some loving connection and fun while we’re all kicking back and relaxing with loved ones. Whether you are in a cold climate or warm climate right now, it is time to enjoy the loving touch of a warm set of hands caressing your body, soft lips nibbling you, hard body enjoying you….  Connection with a lover is not only good for your body (losing calories, releasing tension and stress) but your mind also gets a fresh rush of feel good endorphins. I urge you to open your mind to your ‘Adventurous’ side and try something new and exciting in loveland….

How awesome will this year be if, on top of your career and success goals, you added some sexy loving goals too?  A healthy dose of sensuality and sexuality can have a direct benefit on your self esteem and confidence, how much more could you use right now?   With a partner or alone, everybody deserves sexy loving fun, so if you are single, this months Bliss Tip is for you too… Get the picture?

Are you Perfect?

Hello lovely ladies,

It occured to me some time recently, how immobilised I have been in the past by ‘perfection’ and the desire to get everything in my life just right. Now, there is nothing wrong with mediocrity, that certainly has it’s place somewhere in world but not in my world. The problem is while I seek perfection I am often rendered immobilised - I do nothing out of fear of failure! So, essentially, it’s either doing something perfectly, or not at all.

Recently, I was at a presenters course, learning extensive skills on how to be a great presenter. One exercise we had to do, was to practise introducing ourselves. I had practised it so many times in my mind and out loud, I became a nervous mess. Finally it was my turn, I tried so hard to get it right, I actually got it horribly wrong, completely messed it up. As I sat after, waiting for our group to finish, I felt tears of imperfection well up and I quickly exited the room to gain my composure. Why was I so upset about something so simple? I sat with the feeling for a while and decided to let the emotions bubble up, when they were ready, they would reveal what I needed to learn.

A few days later, my last day in fact, we had to do a presentation I was not prepared for. In fact, I didn’t even open my books to write anything down - I knew that I knew my stuff, I am very passionate about my content. I loosely followed the structure of the presentation and something happened… I had completely let go of my attachment to the presentation being ‘perfect’, I completely let go of the fears I had about being liked or disliked, or being good enough and I let the words flow…

My speech was the best ‘off the cuff’ presentation I had done to date. And further more, I dared to get out of my comfort zone and do something a little controversial and out spoken - I was being my whole self, Real and Raw and loved what come out the trust for myself.

As a International Performance Coach, I see women commonly suffer from self esteem issues and we often let our fears rule who we are and immobilise us. What I experienced was a surrender to my fear of failure…. When you let go of what you ‘assume’ other people are thinking about you, when you actualise your accomplishments and ‘OWN WHO YOU ARE’, you set yourself free to simply be the DIAMOND you REALLY are and MAGIC HAPPENS! I know when I push and force something, I always come unstuck. And when I simply trust and have faith, the immobilised becomes mobile, the fear becomes courage and the ‘how to’ reveals itself….

What emotions do you need to let bubble up and out?
Are you fighting a battle to succeed somewhere in your life and fail to hit the mark?
What would happen if you just let go of the ‘push and pull of perfection’ and just set about ‘DOING’?

So how do you let go of attachment and the desire for perfection?
You realise you are already perfect as you are! A continuous drive forward to become a better version of the already perfect you, is most desireable because there, is where you are always growing and expanding who you are.

I dare you to practise letting go. I dare you to practise being already perfect. I dare you to stop what you are doing right now that is ‘not’ working for you and do something different. Only then will you find your truth and become mobile… moving toward your dreams. Seek and ye shall find. Accept and you shall be.

Yours with blessings,
Janelle Manton