Jul 16, 2012
It hides behind closed doors and speaks to no-one; it fears being discovered because that may mean an intervention may be in order. It likes to be on control of is occupants and steers the direction of emotion downward in a spiral that hangs like a dark grey cloud over your head and heart… It’s called ‘depression’. Some say is something you decide to do as opposed to something you get, in any case it feels heavy and isolates and detaches it’s captives from a normal life.
Depression is a very real and scary state of being for many people… But how do you get in in the first place? Can it be cured and how can you avoid its return? Today we are going to discuss this dark cloud called depression, the darkness that affects so many women and remains undetected and hidden behind closed doors….
Unfortunately, statistics of’ depression’ are on the rise and in some areas are in epidemic proportions… It’s arguable that depression is the label drug companies give to something that their drugs can ‘cure’ but does masking the problem really help you deal with the reality that deep down in your core, something is really bugging you… Something that requires your attention in order for you to move forward, past the dark cloud and into the light once again.
Years ago after my father died I prescribed anti-depressants. A friend asked me how did I know I was depressed. I answered, honestly, I’m not sure. I mean, I cried a lot and missed my dad deeply (pretty normal reaction after a family member dies), I felt I couldn’t cope with daily decisions, there was too much going on in my head to concentrate. I felt needy and a little clingy, sad and generally down and out. When I started on the prescribed drugs I admit I felt better, numb even and for 12 months I didn’t cry or feel much of anything. At some stage I thought it was time to come off the drugs and its then all hell broke loose… I was nowhere near over my depression. Surprise, surprise!
You see, I was still grieving for my father, I still had unresolved emotions about his death and our relationship and the flood gates of tears finally broke… Now I was forced to deal with my issues, I saw a coach; I kept a journal and worked through my challenges. It was not an easy road to take but a necessary one in order to get out of the cycle of sadness. In the natural flow of things I set my self-free and feel if I had not taken anti-depressants, I would have gone through the journey of grief much sooner.
I now wonder how many other people mask and hide behind the façade of anti-depressant drugs and stop feeling and do not deal with the problem at hand? And what are the consequences of not taking action and remaining immobilised, out of control? Denial?
A woman who is depressed is not in control of her own destiny; she is compromised and may not make the best decisions for herself or her family. She is susceptible to violence and domination, being ripped off and taken for granted. Feeling down is nature’s way of giving you time to cope with whatever is on your mind; it’s time for you to deal with whatever it is. The length of time you decide to stay down is the only choice you have to make. Some people never come out of depression and yet some go down, feel, deal and come out all the better for it.
The thing you need to know is this: you have a choice to do depression or not. You can decide if you want to go ‘there’, label it and be in it. You have a choice in how long your healing will take and you certainly have a choice to take action. Taking action when faced with adversity or dealing with emotional trauma puts you back in the driver’s seat, helps you move rapidly toward recovery and eases you toward feeling great once again.
If you are having one of those times in life, feeling the darker shades of grey then here are few tips to assist you to a speedy recovery:
- Talk to a friend and share what is on you mind. Remember you never have to face challenges alone, always let someone know what situation you are in.
- Seek professional advice and ask for alternatives to taking medication.
- Shift your focus, sometimes starting a new project, taking on a hobby and keeping busy helps to move you out of the dark.
- Face your feelings with acceptance remembering they are there for a reason. Feel it, face it, accept it and let your emotions flow… it’s for the best you allow yourself time to feel what is present.
- Decide on a course of action. This could be a ceremony to signify the ending of a chapter in your life or a celebration of new beginnings; you might decide to move out of a situation that does not serve you and be brave and bold… Nothing could be worse than staying where you are, right?
- Ask yourself better quality questions? What is this cloud trying to tell me, teach me, and show me? There is often a great deal to learn and gain from a down time, be willing to listen to you heart and soul.
- Seek help from a professional coach or counsellor. I am only too happy to assist any challenge you have and move you quickly out of the darker side of grey… Make the call. 0407 263 023 – I’m happy to help!
Yours real and raw,
Janelle Manton – Extraordinary Life Coach, Author, Speaker, Trainer and Women’s Retreat Facilitator.
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